boyfriend is 17 years older than me and cheated with a girl his own age?

Question

ive lived with a man 17 years older than me for the last 11years we had a lovers tiff as i thought, he went to his mums, when he came back to me he told me he went to bed with a women his own age said he couldnt get it up as he was drunk showed me his penis said she must have sucked him all night said he couldnt remember ( there was marks on it ) told me he went back the next night ( he did ) his parents knew all about this ( had a good laught with him over this woman) now he says he loves me and cant live without me...please please advise

Answer 1

He dug his own grave, you only need to turn around and walk away.

Answer 2

No way. Don't go crawling back. I know it must be hard because you lived with him for 11 years but you will never be able to trust him deep down in your heart. If you only had a lovers tiff then he still shouldn't have went off with this other woman. If you can't trust him theres no point in being in a relationship with this man. I can't believe he went back a second time. This just goes to show that he has no respect or consideration for your feelings. If he had of cared he would have broken up with you instead of having an affair. I think you should think long and hard about this but he obviously didn't love you that much or he wouldn't have went off with another woman. Please make the right decision and don't live a life of misery. Every time you are apart you'll be wondering is he with her again. That is unnecessary emotional torture

Answer 3

"boyfriend is 17 years older than me..."

Welcome to the world. There is only one thing that you've got wrong here and that is that you mention his age and your age as if this is important. (unless you are below legal age , age is not important).

Perhaps you mention age to minimize what it is you really want to talk about -and that is CHEATING.


Here's the scoop, since you say, "please, please advise" .

superbooks.org ANSWERS:

CHEATING is cheating is cheating is cheating is cheating. So what part of this doesn't anyone understand.

Your problem is that your boyfriend is a low-end cheater and you've ignored that by taking him back ONCE, and this gives him the go-ahead to go and cheat again.

Cheaters cheat because they can get away with it and mostly because even when they are caught, everyone makes all kinds of excuses as to why the cheating was okay (since you take him back).


Cheating is NEVER okay. It doesn't matter age, and it doesn't matter if the person finds out or not. Eventually all cheaters are found out one way or another.

So, 'advise", dump this cheater as far as you can dump him and dump him TODAY.

Be more respectful of yourself and don't go with someone who cheats on you.

Drinking is NO exucuse for cheating just as drinking is NO excuse for driving over a person's body while intoxicated.

So, the fact that your b/f is older and that he was drinking is so totally irrelevant to what really happened here.

HE CHEATED.

You dump him.

See, that's simple, correct ?

Cheaters should be dumped at the very first opportunity OR you will live a life where you will always be seeing his next cheating escapade, and his next apologies.

Cheating never works. No one wins with cheaters.

so there you go, that's my opinion .

Answer 4

Age is not the issue, his personality, his drinking, and his abusive behaviour towards You is. He obviously has issues within your relationship, and his drinking seems to be causing difficulties. He cannot blame bad behaviour on drinking because people in drink are making decisions and choices. Making harmful decisions and choices, in drink, that are detrimental to his and your relationship, most probably point out he is infact an alcoholic. He is making these decisions and choices as a mature man none the less, and clearly disrespects you to the point he is abusing You. His vulgarity suggest he is trying to hurt you for some reason, in a drunken warped way, he may also believe he is testing you! . Has he issues with other women or his mother? these may be impinging on his behaviour when he is drinking. Clearly this man is not trustworthy nor mentally stable. He does not Love You as he says but rather He "Needs You" (hence his "I can't live without you" statement). You are His Backbone, His Support. You must seperate this relationship so that Both of you can have time to reflect and live independent lives. He needs to get treatment and you need to be with people who really Care for You, for Your benefit and Your happiness and not merely for support. As things stand, your future with this man, I am sorry to say, would be very unhappy and has no chance of a successful outcome.

Answer 5

Have you no self respect? Come on....look in the mirror....see yourself for the person that you are and tell yourself that you deserve better. Every single time you look in the mirror tell yourself that you are nice and you deserve better....Him and his parents are trouble....A lovers tiff? No way....you can't trust him if it was only a lovers tiff....what if you had a big argument? He has no respect for you at all....and he doesn't love you! Now he says he can't live without you? Too bad...if you want to be happy I suggest you get him out of your life. You don't need graphic details of how another woman pleased him....Raise the 'bar' and begin to feel good about yourself...respect yourself and don't take any excuses for his behavior.

Answer 6

What advice are you looking for? The guy is a no-good-rotten-bum! Why are you with him? Do you truly love him? He was drunk, but he remembers going to bed with the woman. So that tells you he intended to follow through with things whether he was able to or not! What more are you looking for? From now on when you get into a fight you will be wondering if he is doing that again.

Answer 7

ofgs if u have any sense of pride get away from this guy!!! he sounds like a total idiot if hes cheating on someone 17 years younger in the first place he should think himself lucky with what he has hell only end up doing it again you can do better go and find someone your own age who will treat you how you deserve girl dont put up with that s-h-i-t

Answer 8

Get rid of him darling, if he really loves you and can't live without you then he shouldn't have cheat on you, drinking is a very poor excuse of cheating, and believing him is pathetic, now he cheated with you and you let him cheat to you and if you want a life like that its up to you. Actually you don't have to ask this question because it is clear that you will still end up with him despite his cheating because he will hocus pocus you with his magic words and you will be under the spell and be one of stupid women who stick in a relationship that a man does not respect them. Its up to you darling you are the one who is controlling your life if you want that kind of life go on....but if not and you will stand up for yourself and say Hey I deserve somebody who will love me, respect me and care for me, care for how I feel. I will be proud of you. Love yourself first before you love somebody because you will never know what love is if you don't love yourself. Respect yourself so that other will respect you, nobody will respect you if you don't have respect of yourself.

Answer 9

Hi girl.. listen & follow to your heart. The fact is your bf is indeeds cheated behind you and he should know his limit when comes to drinking.

Ask yourself "Can you forgive and forget the incident which you pretend nothing happen OR would you swallow down your pride for the sake of your love" ? For me, my answer is unpardonable.

You are still young and has a lot of hopes of finding someone who loves you more than his life. You can do it..

Answer 10

Well no matter how you look at it he cheated. He must not be as committed as you are. If that is how he is going to react everytime you have a spat...you need to know now so you can end things before you waste more years with him.

Answer 11

Where is your self-respect? This man lied and cheated on you and this is how he shows he loves you and can't live without you.
If this is love it's a really good thing he doesn't hate you.