My husband asked me one morning on his way to work, "Please clean the house." I was taken back by this statement because that is what I do when he is gone anyway, why did he need to say that. It's like saying do your job today. I figure that you don't have to remind me, you don't have to say remember to breath, you just do. I stated this to him and he responded, "Well, it's the same as you saying work overtime this week please." I said "That is different, I am stating a fact, we need more money to pay the morgage payment, how else do I say it." I could understand him saying "clean the house", if I never cleaned it but when I questioned him he said I have been cleaning the house just fine he couldn't see any problem. I said, "Then why did you say it?" He said, "It's the same as you saying work overtime." I clearly disagree, what do you think?
2006-08-02 13:48:12 · 24 answers · asked by faith 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not aware of the finacial situation in our house. I do the bills, he says he wants it this way because he would just get overly stressed if he did them.
2006-08-02 14:02:46 · update #1
Just a curious question, we love eachother and were over the whole thing the moment we stopped talking about it. We just wondered what everyone else'e view would be.
2006-08-02 14:05:34 · update #2
P.S. I have stated I would get a job, but with 2 children he wants me to stay home.
2006-08-02 14:07:17 · update #3
It all just seemed very insulting, asking to clean means that I don't do it or I don't do it right, asking to work overtime is stating that we have a need that you don't know about so I am letting you know.
2006-08-02 14:11:15 · update #4
I disagree too, it is not the same thing. Women are expected to clean the house among other things, and we usually end up doing it on top of the other things we have to do. If housecleaning is something you always to anyhow and are doing a great job, then his asking you to clean the house is something of an insult. You asking him to work more overtime to help pay the mortgage is not the same thing. Housecleaning, while it does technically have an "economic value" it will NOT help you pay the mortgage... but maybe he's just stressed out. i wouldn't worry about it.. its a small thing and two of you will get over it just fine.
2006-08-02 13:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by rollarcoaster brain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ONLY differance i can see from what you said, is that when YOU tell him what to do, it's okay, because you're stating the "fact" that he's too lazy to work hard enough to get the bills paid unless you make him, but him telling YOU what to do is obviously just a male attack on your skills as a wife and homemaker. I'd say apologize to him for being unfair and controlling, and don't tell him to work overtime - ever again. After all, once that all important mortgage is paid off, you can always sell the house to pay for the divorce. Besides that, what Man in his right MIND would object to working overtime all the time, when it would be easier to hold over time to twice a month or less, and cut out a few other expenses, and spend just a little bit of time with his wife... instead.
2006-08-02 21:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but I agree with your husband. You telling him to work overtime if he can is reminding him of his job to provide for the family. He is aware of the financial situation and doesn't need you to remind him.
Him telling you to clean the house today is a gentle way of letting you know how it feels to have someone remind you of your job the way you remind him of the overtime. He could have been very nasty about it. He could have started a fight. Instead he chose a way to get your attention with out arguing. I would say he did a good job there.
2006-08-02 20:56:25 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably be offended too. I'm sure he would find its not that easy if you two could trade places for a while. House work gets so tiring...you clean and clean then the next day you have to do the same things all over again. I tell my husband that it would be like him building something then everynight when he went home someone came and tore it down and he had to go back and build it again the next day. It gets really old and frustrating! I feel for you! Good luck!
2006-08-02 21:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to get on his case about working overtime. He's not a stupid child. I side with him, sorry. Its annoying to say "work overtime"..Dammit he knows! He knows that the mortgage is high, right? I mean, does he work overtime without you reminding him like he's 5 year old??? If he does it consistently, then shutup already!!
Sorry, but I'm telling you what he probably thought. OK, now get over it and be nice to your husband, and dont forget to clean the house tomorrow ;)
Peace
2006-08-02 21:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, does he work overtime ALL the time? if no then i agree with you. You are just asking him to make more money. Cleaning the house has nothing to do with him making more money and he is just trying to level the playing field. Maybe he felt insulted and is trying to do the same to you. tell him it wasnt meant as an insult and that you just wanted extra spending money for bills and whatnot.
good luck.
2006-08-02 20:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have too much time on your hands. If you want to make a mountain out of a mole hill, then by all means, start WWIII out of this. He is making a point...stop riding him about overtime. Instead, get a part time job and make some money yourself. OR, get a full time job and hire a maid. Any way you look at it, you have more time on your hands than he does.
2006-08-02 20:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is frustrated because he is the only income and you tell him to work overtime while you are at home doing chores. Does he really want you to get a job and help with the income? Thats what it sounds like to me anyway.
2006-08-02 21:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the same thing, he stated something that was factual just like you did
he stated something that was known just like you did
he stated something that was happening just like you did
i do not see a difference, why are you taking such offence to a simple statement that meant nothing at all and ready to start a huge argument over it
geeez, get a life and clean the house or something
2006-08-02 21:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to worry about working so he will have a house to go home to and leave the cleaning to you.
2006-08-02 20:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋