I think I'm in love with a colleague, who has said she loves me, but she has just got married to a guy who....

Question

dosen't deserve her!
This is crazy, I've been in a new job for about 18months and in this time I have grown very close to someone at work. It's at the point when I think about her constantly, even now when she is away on her honeymoon! She claims that she loves me and we are always trying to find time to meet and spend time together when she can get away from her fiancee(/husband now). We share intimate moments and whenever we are together there is always smiles and laughter, I went through the pain of attending the wedding reception and now going through the torture of the honeymoon but she say's that we will be able to spend more time together when she is back and even get weekends alone, in time she wants to split with him but had to go through with the wedding due to family/mortgage/possesions etc etc...

Really need advice or just peoples point of views.

Thanks

Answer 1

wow, she sounds kind of evil, why would she get married to get divorced, what does this say about her, how can you trust her knowing she is a cheater....good luck letting her ruin your life..right after she ruins her new husbands of course..you have to wait in line.

Answer 2

What would you think if this was your wife? Would you want he to be getting involved with someone from work? You have crossed the boundary from being a colleague to being her lover while she was engages?

Why did she marry this other man if she is in love with you? I'm sure she has a great explanation for that! She even had you attend her wedding - how nice.

Hello? Is there anybody in there? Can't you see the writing on the wall? This woman is POISON! She is trying to have two men at the same time and will end up destroying both of you!

Leave her alone!!! I don't care how much you "love" her! She made the choice and married someone else right under your nose!

Answer 3

U really need to read between the lines here, u r with a two timer tart! If she didn't like her husband to be (then), she shouldn't have gone through all the wedding honeymoon, reception etc.. what's next? Baby Shower?! having the above reasons does not justify her going along with it nor stringing u a long the way too. What does that tell u about her for your; say future together. indecisive, will easily escape from facing the situation by falling in to another man's arms. Seems like miss Drama queen likes plying the victim here..

Answer 4

I don't know what the "family/mortgage/possesions" reasons were that caused her to enter into a marriage she didn't want to be in--but they were NOT big enough to warrant her making the biggest mistake of her life! Anyone who would do that is definitely not in tune with what they really want from life.

When you TRULY love someone and want to be with them, ALL else will take a back seat. Whether it is a mortgage, a pending marriage, whatever. Why would you even want to be with someone who has clearly chosen so many other things over you--and continues to do so as long as she stays in this marriage?

I think you should re-evaluate this relationship of yours for the time being. If she really wanted to only be with you, she wouldn't have gone through with that marriage. Bottom line. You need to know whether or not she plans on going through with the break up. The smart thing to do is to stop seeing her until she does call the marriage quits. She really needs to develop some more character and stand up for what she really wants, because what she and you are doing (cheating--plain and simple) is NOT right. regardless of whether or not her new husband "deserves" her.

Answer 5

see dont be foolish.if she really loves u she shoul be with u and not with the guy she is now.this should be hurting.but its true,a girl can be as a wife to only the person she loves,not in any way with somone else.i dont know what the condition is butif she got married and gone for a honey mooon then it shows that she is ok with the other person,otherwise she wouldnt have maried him,or atleast not the honey moon.it says she wants to have some pesonal crush with u,thats it so dont beak ur head and relax,if she wana talk or even have sex withu go ahad and enjoy but dont think too mch about her.she is osmeone else's now.if she comes tou willingly then its ur wish waht u wana do,bcos u cant blame others for what u have done,so relax,sit down and think with a cool head,it wouldnt be good enough to have private moments with someone else wife,thik what would u do if ur wife does it to u.so i know its hard,but try to foret her and start a new carrier,concentrate on ur work and prosper,u'll find a newgirl.if u loose.something it means u have something much better waiting for u.and if time has wounde u,it'll surely heal the wound,so be patient and wait for the right time.ok.\
byeeeeeeeeee\take care.\
chris

Answer 6

Oh dear. What a dreadful situation.

Truthfully, she wouldn't have upped and married another man if you were the one she really wanted, would she? You don't say whether the two of you are sleeping together - I'm not being nosy, but it's quite significant.

If she was already thinking of splitting up with him, why on earth did she marry him. I really don't think family/mortgage/possessions would make me marry a man I didn't love. I'd rather be penniless but with someone I did love. It doesn't really reflect well on her, does it?

I think you should move on from her - find someone who is free. If she ever actually does get divorced and you are still free, then maybe you can think again. But don't waste your life waiting for someone who seems to think they have the right to keep you dangling.

Good luck x

Answer 7

Well i think you are in a rotten situation you should spend this time now while she is away to weigh up the pros and cons you really have to ask yourself if she is serious about you it just seems a little weird to me that she went through with the wedding there surely could have been another way besides marriage .I truely hope it works out for you but please just think long and hard about it as if she can throw away a husband she probably wont find it that hard to do the same to you but good luck anyway

Answer 8

Do you certainly must be with a woman who ought to so honestly betray somebody she has been with for 3 years and agreed to marry? She does not sound like a individual who has lots character or integrity. luckily you have a ethical sense and that i understand you for that. don't be silly sufficient to tell this female to circulate away a solid guy. sooner or later that karma gets back to you. If she has any understand at enthusiastic approximately this guy (which she specific has no longer shown as of yet) she will have the flexibility to circulate away him without the codependent choose so which you will fill his footwear. bear in mind this outdated asserting: the form you get your companion is the form you will lose your companion.

Answer 9

You need to walk away....from this one. Shame on her for going though with the wedding. Especially, for all the wrong reasons. You wonder why the divorce rate it out of this world. It's people like that who have ABSOLUTELY no concept of what marriage even is. What a waste of time, money and effort from all her friends and family. This gal has some serious issues. There are plenty of other women out there. I suggest you....walk away from this one.

Answer 10

If she really loves you like she says then she would go through all that stuff to get a divorce and live happly ever after with you!life is short how much time are you talking about giving her?also make sure that your relationship is not so good due to the fact that you guys have to sneak.

Answer 11

This is very serious advice. Drop the woman. She is NOT a friend, she is NOT a potential lover...she is toying with you, just as she toyed with her husband..this is as bad as it gets, short of going on a murdering spree...does she think all this is a joke, does she think she is in Grade School and playing with the boys? And YOU! She JUST got married, and you are playing around with her! What is wrong with you???Are you that desparate for companionship! You both need a serious spanking across someone's knee,for you are both acting as if marriage means nothing more than exchanging highschool rings! Grow Up fast, avoid the hell out of her, she is wanting to add you to her notches on the bed post...simple as that...or do you have a bunch of money that she wants? Trust me, she wants something, and it has nothing to do with you.