When I found out I was pregnant back in Dec. 2005, my husband was excited and told his family that we were going to have a baby. Then, his attitude changed. He stopped answering my calls when he was out, he started coming home late, he wouldnt answer any questions I had about his whereabouts and whatnot (he'd tell me that it wasn't my business, or to stay out of his business, or its his life, stop interfering-he got really mean!) He stopped spending time with me. He often ignored me. His lovemaking started to suck. He wasnt as interested in sex as he used to be. He started getting very secretive when recieving and making phone calls. He had new girls phone #'s that I wasnt familiar with. He had questionable texts on his cell phone-He kept me in the dark.On Saturday May 27, '06 he told me he was heading to work. I knew he DIDNT work that day so I knew he lied. I followed him and caught him with another woman.Since then, he's decided that he wants a paternity test!Why? IT IS HIS CHILD!
2006-08-02 12:52:01 · 28 answers · asked by Danielle Hossain Lota 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would NEVER cheat on him. This isn't the first time he has cheated. He cheated twice (that I know of) before and I forgave him both times. The second time he cheated, he was always accusing me of cheating. As for the other woman, she was innocent in all of this. He told her that he didn't have a wife, (he said he didn't even have a girlfriend as a matter of fact) and that he lived with his dad (which he does now because I kicked him out the very same day I caught him).He told her that he was younger than he was even though she was a much older woman (she was in her 40's, he was 29, and I was 21).I had confronted her in front of him when I caught him and got all the details from her while he stood there with an "I'm up sh!t creek" look on his face. I'm giving him his test even though I know that he knows d@mn well he is the father. I've tried working things out, but it looks like it's divorce because he wants to talk after he gets the results and be able to be single in the mean time
2006-08-02 13:50:54 · update #1
This is your husbands way of detering the blame of getting caught back to you. This is what little boys do in grade school. Men will do anything once caught in the act. Surprising he hasnt blamed you for his cheating. Get the paternity test to end all doubts, and you may need it later, sue him for divorce and all you are legally entitled to. Backing up a little, you dont know what he told this girl to justify his actions; he may have told her that you are pregnant with another mans child and driving him into cheating. If he lies to you,he will lie to her too. The test will bring evidence into court if he tries something. Unless,he can concretely prove(police reports, medical reports) child or drug abuse, youll get your child, child support, the house and spousal support. Then let him think about what he lost for his stupid actions. Good luck
2006-08-02 13:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are close to having another baby and he's cheating on you? He's the POS. He's accusing you of cheating when it's actually HIM who is guilty of that and probably has been all along. I doubt it's only been since April of this year. That's just what you know about. So now, he's feeling bad that he's caught and probably telling mommy and daddy he only did it because YOU were cheating. Not true, but that's his story. But then, even if you were cheating, does this make his affairs right? No, it doesn't. If you can, please look into leaving him. You are so much better than this. I don't now how you put up with this for so long.
2016-03-26 20:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called spin - so he can try to make other people believe that you have been unfaithful to him since he was caught in a LIE. Go ahead and take the paternity test - you've got nothing to worry about. Make him pay for it, and then let him know that even though you'd rather work things out, either way you are expecting him to pay child support. That's the least he can do for being a CHEATER and he should have thought things through before you two had a child together. God Bless you - I hope things work out for you and the baby.
2006-08-02 12:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by Mother Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here the deal, men are dogs. They are very visual and unfortunatley the succumb to whims of any women who make themselves available. In order for your husband to lessen his guilt about his unfaithfulness to you and his child, he needs to blame you and use the baby as an excuse for his adultery. He does not know what to say or do, but I feel as though the ideas of being a father and creating a family was to much for him to handle. I believed he felt as though he was going to lose his independence and perhaps that was much more important to him the the realization of become a father. In order regain that independence he became a bachlore and went up anothers womens skirt. What you need to do now is think about yourself and your baby. Because if he's having issues already then, it's better that he resolve them first before he becomes a father and if he doesn't then you know his maturity level. You need to be strong and live your life for you and your child. However, if you really want ot work this out then try to get some couseling, but I am sure he will refuse for the sake of proving his case. So, move on and be the better one.
2006-08-02 13:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by milogz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men change when their wife gets pregnant, but usually it is a temporary thing. Some men become more caring and loving, while others pull back from their wife. This should be temporary, however, it seems your husband took it a step further and proceeded to have an affair.
From your question, I am sure that the child is indeed his.......Have the test done, divorce him, and make sure he pays full support and alimony.
Get a good lawyer!
2006-08-02 12:59:35 · answer #5 · answered by blah_in_az 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason he did this is because you caught him being unfaithful and the best form of defence is attack. He has been rather clever actually, he's successfully managed to turn the tables so that you're worrying about what he said, and not what he did. He was unfaithful, he has completely disrespected you, and to make matters worse he has tried to cover his lying cheating tracks by shifting the blame onto you. He sounds like a spineless egotistical git, and if i were you i wouldnt waste my time worrying about proving parentage; he KNOWS your son is his, he just wants to hurt you. That time would be better spent filing for divorce and kicking his sorry butt to the kerb!
2006-08-02 12:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's common for someone who is cheating to beleive their spouse is doing the same. Probably a combination of guilt, insecurity, and anger at getting caught. You should get the test, get a divorce, get child support, and alimony. He probably has commitment issues. Besides, is this the kind of person you want your son to look up to as an example of who he should be like?
2006-08-02 13:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by anjelkitty33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you don't understand how it is to be a guy. We are all naturally asshole. Women are great. I love you gals. You are much more loyal, even though a lot of you are really terrible too, I think guys are much worse. That is why i don't understand gay guys. I don't blame lesbians for hating woman either, if i was a girl i would dig other girls. Best of luck to you, you don't deserve any of that. Divorce his *** and get all of his money and find a great guy.
2006-08-02 12:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by T B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs an excuse, since he obviously has another woman (sorry to say that harshley). Either have the paternity test and make h im pay the child support or stay with him, knowing he's a cheater and be miserable. It's your choice
2006-08-02 12:54:59 · answer #9 · answered by shizzlechit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is looking for an excuse to justify for his cheating...
Men or lousy liars and will do anything to try and turn the blame to someone else..
Get the test, then take that sorry excuse of a man for everything he has and will ever be worth...
2006-08-02 12:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋