My fiance` and I decided to both quit drinking. He acts dumb and says and does stupid things when he drinks and I flip out and try to beat him up when he does them. A week and a half ago, he was saying nasty things to one of my really good friends, so I made him leave the party. Things like that happen everytime we drink.
We decided to quir alcohol (not even social drinks) and he gets mad at me when I say no to him having one or two.
He even cheated on me when he was drinking.
I want to tell him no alcohol or no me.
Is that a good way to put it?
2006-08-02 12:07:44 · 7 answers · asked by Caffiene Junkie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good luck with that. I lived with an alcoholic for 5 miserable years. They don't change until they want to. It won't matter what you say. At least yours probably doesn't piss the bed...yuck!! What was I thinking!!? Glad that is all in the past now so I can get on with my life.
2006-08-05 14:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious about leaving him if he refuses to quit drinking than by all means give him the ultimatum. BUT if you aren't serious and are just trying to say something to get him to quit than DON'T say that. You have to really be ready to walk out the door the next time he takes a drink... and if you don't then he won't take you seriously in the future and will walk all over you.
He might resent the fact that you're telling him what to do and he might end up rebelling just to prove the point that he can do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. That would just cause major issues in your relationship with trust and respect.
Perhaps you should consider telling him that you love him and you fear that your relationship is in jeopardy sometimes when he drinks because of the things that sometimes happen. If he RESPECTS you and wants to keep you happy and around than he won't drink. If he understands how you feel and still continues to drink and disrespect you and your feelings and boundaries... then walk away... he still has WAY too much growing up to do.
2006-08-02 12:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? It will make little difference. An alcoholic is an alcoholic. Period. Even a "dry" drunk has serious emotional issues; obsessive-compulsive behavior, manipulation and control issues, anger management issues... sheez. The list goes on and on forever. I was with a non-drinking alcoholic for about 2 years. It was the worst hell you could imagine, even with AA for her and Alanon for me. The best advice I ever got, and which saved me from a life of insanity, was to never, EVER, be involved with an addict; using or not.
The disease is progressive. It will get worse before it gets better. You should get out before your life becomes even more twisted.
2006-08-02 12:44:29 · answer #3 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a male and Totally agree with you. I remember drinking plm and my GF said to me that she saw me with other woman bedroom but nothing happen and I turn around knew i should known better and she want me to take her home to our apt. so We did and sat in the car I told her truly sorry about this and I stupid and believe me, when i wake up and i will remember this. so, she didn't believe me and so I quit. If I love my wife more than anything in the world which would I pick is my wife. got married and been 9 years no drinking. i hagn out with friends who drink always order rootbeer! becasue it said beer but has root in it. lol... but my wife is most imporant to me in the world.
I am glad she made me wake up and I proof her so hard to have her trust me and she did trust me the first day in the car. and I ask why didn't you say something just want to see how serious you are and you were dead serious and quit drinking.
you put it a good way and you try to make it better and knowing that drinks do screw up make stupid and I learn that.. Why can't he wake up and said damn i cheat on my wife when i drink or something. ... you should tell him choice me or drink your choice and I will not stand here watching you doing this and that not really caring about me at all. and walk out.
If I were him I would 110% chose you why you are more worth it self in life with me. than drinking. you doing what you doing is right and he not doing a d a m n thing. so be strong and if not work out for him and just walk out, I believe in you and you are strong and smart and you knows what best for you .. smile.
2006-08-02 12:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the best way to put it if you mean it! You would get your results if he wants to be with you. The cheating had nothing to do with the alcohol, so don't use this as an excuse. He's just got it in him not to be loyal, and you may want to think about that for what it really is.
2006-08-02 12:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a disease, there is no cure for it but you can stop drinking.l have been sober for 16 years, it can be done and it one of the hardest things l have ever had to do in my life. but it can be done, with support and love, but mostly the will to stop drinking.and to admit that your powerless over alcohol.thats the first step.l have been a sponsor for alcoholics for 14 years, so if you need any help or have any questions please email me at kenny8851@yahoo.com would be glad to help
2006-08-02 12:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES
2006-08-02 12:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋