My mother thinks I am too young to have children. How do I get her use to the idea of being a grandma?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, we plan to get pregnant next year when I am 24.

My father stopped by our house unexpectedly and saw a bassinet a friend gave us.

My father seemed happy about us planning to have a baby, but he did not tell my mother because she would freak out.

My mother says 24/25 is too young to get pregnant.

She also says she feels too young to be a grandma since she has my two little brothers still in grade school

My mother is 45 years old and this would be her first grandchild.

She says she wants me to wait until I am 30 to have my first child.

If I even say the word "baby" she gets upset.

How do I get her to lighten up about becoming a grandma in a year or so?

Answer 1

Well, this is about you and your husband, not your mother. If you talk to her about it, I hope she will be able to get used to the idea.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Since when is it your parent's decision or right to be a parent when you are well over the age of making your own decisions? First of all, you're married, CONGRATULATIONS! Second of all, you won't even be a statistic. Third of all, my guess is your mom got pregnant with you when she was fairly young, and in her own way is just warning you of how hard it really is. I wouldn't even try coaxing your mom into the conversation, because frankly, at this point, she doesn't want to hear it. Is your own mother so petty that she'll turn her back on her own daughter when you become pregnant? I don't think so, you are doing your family planning at the right age! Who wants to have their children graduating high school when they're 50?! Maybe that's your mom's case-but that was her decision. This is strictly you and your husband's decision! Don't let anyone tell you different. Do you have any friends that work at hospital's that deliver babies? If so, devise a mom/daughter day, and stop by the hospital to "pick something up" making a point to go past the nursery to see the babies. Everyone loves newborn babies-almost everyone. Just give her time, it's not her choice, it ain't like when you were 8 and didn't get to pick what you wanted from Dairy Queen-it's your life, and your family! GO MAKE ONE! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

I am having my second child at 23, no I'll be 24 years old. My mom is 46 right now. If you are married, have your finances in order and are planning this the right way, I would be up front with her and tell her to butt out! It is not any of her concern, tell her she did a good job raising a woman who is married and prepared for a child, she should thank her lucky stars that you aren't 16 and single thinking about having a baby next year! Have you seen some of the questions posted on here?
If she is worried that SHE is too young, you should give her a reality check. If YOU have a baby it really has nothing to do with her. Not your fault that she decided to be an old mother. Perhaps you have plans for your future when you are her age, and that doesn't include raising children until your 60!
I congratulate you on being responsible and planning your future the way YOUR dreams dictate, not someone Else's.

Answer 4

You are a grown, married woman that no longer lives in her house. Quit worrying about her and do what you want to do. When she sees that baby for the first time she will get over it all. Just because she may have been "too young" when she had you doesn't mean that the same standard needs to be applied to you. My sister was a grandmother at age 40. She too thought that she was too young, but she got over it. No one knows what the right time for you is but you. Good luck!

Answer 5

You guys are married and you guys are old enough to have kids. It isn't like ur a are young or still in junior or senior high and just hooked up or wanted to have a baby no matter what. You are married responsible adults. And u have been married 5 years! Your are truley ready to make the plunge into motherhood if u belive and have a husband to be there for you. Good Luck!

Answer 6

You are at a great age to have kids. Who wants to have kids in their 30's? Just think if you have them now, while they are young you can actually play with them. Also by the time you are 50 they should be out on their own. Just quit discussing the issue with her. When you get pregnant hopefully her opinion will change. When the baby gets here, she is bound to be happy. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Sorry my friend but she will NEVER get use to the idea. I am 23 and am facing the same problem with my mother-in-law, you just have to put their perspective aside and think on the delight a child would bring to you and your husband's life. Another thing it is impossible for you to wait until you are thirty cause medically proven women have real problems while pregnant and at child's birth after the age of 26 and giving birth to their first child.

Answer 8

Your husband and you are the ones that have to make this decision, not your mother. If you have been married for 5 years and you and your husband know this is the right time for you to start a family then move forward with it. Your mom will accept the fact and she will love any grandchildren you give her. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Personally I don't think that 24 is too young, I had my first baby at 19. My mum was about 38 and thought she was too young to be a nana. Eventually they get used to the idea. I included my mum in dr's appointments and ultrasounds, picking clothes etc. This helped, I think!!

Once the baby comes she'll get over it, all she will see is her beautiful little grandchild!!

Hope it all goes well! Good Luck!!

Answer 10

If she doesn't get used to the idea of it before you become pregnant, I imagine she'll get used to it while you are pregnant. She'll probably be really excited about having a baby around that she doesn't have to mother. She could also pick out what she wants your kids to call her. It doesn't have to be "grandma." Then maybe she won't feel really old if she is just called some other fun kid name. Good luck with her and your kids!

Answer 11

I know it is hard not to get your mothers approval on this, but it is not up to your mother. When you have a child is up to 3 people, you, your husband and God. You need to decided and pray about it. If it feel like the right time, then go for it. Your mom will have to get used to the idea.