Any suggestions?

Question

my wife recently left home taking my 2 yo daughter. She said that a lot of little things have built up over time and she is not happy anymore. I have tried to reason with her, i have offered to go to counseling..ect. we have been married for only 6 months. i do not beleive in divorce, we both come from a super religious families, who are very angry. I have told her to forget the past and start over, she says it aint that easy. I am angry because she cheated on me twice in our relationship prior to marriage, and it took all i had to forgive her, that was 3 years ago, now she cant return the favor?. She says she loves me still...i am absolutly confused here, she said something about we argued to much since being married? Should I let her go or what can I do. The last thing I want is a divorce. I miss my family and most importantly my daughter. What should i do next? any advice would be great

In refrence to someone answer to my question. I did not cheat ever. What I said was I forgave her for cheating and forgot the past, and now she cant forget the past (us arguing) and start over. I never cheated on her

Answer 1

I apologize for the difficult situation you are currently in.
Even though your wife will not be attending,
I suggest you still attend counseling.
It will give you all of the knowledge and strength and support you will need to make the decision on what to do next.
Please seriously consider it, I truly feel it's a step in the right direction.
I hope my advice helped and I apologize if it didn't.
Take care!

Answer 2

Well I am going to answer you question with a few questions for you to think about because I really don't care if I know the answers or not so here they are:
When was the last time you bought flowers or a gift for no reason at all but to say I LOVE YOU
When was the last time you gave her a hug for no reason at all but say I LOVE YOU
When was the last time you paid her a complement
When was the last time each of you spent the night holding each other
When was the last time you opened the door for her
When was the last time you told her how important she is to you
when was the last time you told her what a difference she has made in your life
When was the last time you helped around the house to keep it clean.
In what ways do you show or tell her on a regular basis that you LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH
Yes there are many questions I could ask but I do believe you can figure some out for yourself.
I do believe it is this type of little things that she is talking about. Who know you might be able to save it good luck

Answer 3

Knowing how you felt when she cheated on you before marriage, you went ahead and cheated yourself after the marriage?

Trying to even the score were you?

What does what the families think about it have to do with anything? You were old enough to get married and make a child. You were old enough to make the decision for revenge by cheating. You should be old enough to handle this split.

Frankly, if I were her I wouldn't take you back. You sound like a controlling vindictive crybaby.

But if you think you can, give her some space to calm down and think everything over. She will let you know when she's either ready for a reconciliation or a divorce.

Answer 4

I agree - keep your respective families out of the situation.

My husband and I went through a rough spot a few years back, where I just didn't know whether I wanted to continue the marriage, but he showed me that he wasn't willing to give up on me or our girls or the marriage. He called to talk to the girls every night and would pop in to visit them throughout the week. (This also prevented my friends from introducing me to any available men in his absence!) Your daughter may be too young to ask questions, so you don't need to involve her in your quarrels, as long as she understands that you wish you could be there with her and that you love her and miss her. If your wife is any kind of woman, she will realize that it is wrong to deprive your daughter of a loving, two-parent home. DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS TO VISIT YOUR DAUGHTER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Try to reel in your anger toward your wife for having split the home. Do not whine or wheedle. Let her know again and again that you are serious about working things out but try to convey that if your wife were not to come back, you would still function just fine. It wasn't until my husband stood on his own two feet and showed perseverance that I truly gained the respect for him I needed in order to take him back. Humans are funny in that respect; some folks just find the "I can't live without you" thing to be repulsive. I firmly believe that you can't be part of a couple until you know how to be an individual. Codependency is exhausting. Show your wife that you can be a take-charge kind of guy and that you are worthy of her respect and love and she will come back. Once you get her back, get some counseling!

Answer 5

well without knowing the whole situation besides her cheating on you a couple times it sounds to me like she's not ready for something as serious as marriage. people get married so young now and dont realize that its such a big step. if i was you i'd do everything you can (be it through her family or court system) to make sure you stay a part of your daughter's life (she's going to need you) and act like none of this bothers you. dont chase her, dont tell her you love her, dont laugh at her jokes. nothing. just be cool. if she really loves you, she'll come around. if not, find another girl, theres 6 billion people in the world. your daughter will always be your daughter and ultimately, she's whats important now.

Answer 6

Your families opinions should not be a factor in this. Think about your new family only. Give her a while to think alone and remind her that you can't just walk out when things get crappy. This is a marriage and there are always gonna be a few bad times. Did she expect all sunshine? If she loves you, she will come back. If not, then you have to move on. She wasn't the one.

Answer 7

This happened pretty soon into the marriage. If there isnt another man involved you have a chance to work it out. If there is one and she hasnt slept with him then you still have a chance. But if she is sleeping with him you can forget it. Once a woman sleeps with another man there is an emotional bond that even the husband cant break. You need to find out if there is another man. Oh yes there might be one. I was the last to know about it with my wife. The whole town knew before me but they didnt tell me because they didnt want to get involved. Nip it in the bud quick.

Answer 8

Most of the time, once a cheater always a cheater. The sad part here is your daughter. If you did get back together do you really think she wouldnt cheat anymore????? The very best of luck to you.

Answer 9

give her some time she will be back she just need the time to think dont pressure her put your cards on the table let her know that you love her and you want her to come home and be a family but only when shes ready the door will be open

Answer 10

You need to talk about it and then try to make it work out for the baby .You need to talk about things not fuss that not good for the baby