Please read the whole question.?

Question

Ok, here it goes again-hope i am clearer this time
I am in love with a guy and he feels the same. He is bi and I am straight. We are good friends and dance together. My parents treat him cruely esp my mom cause a bi guy broke her heart once. I am 22 and just got out of college-I am @ my parents while apartment searching. My parents say all kinds of awful things about him and have forbiddin me from dating him. Saying that it would ruin my life and how he can't possible love me. This breaks my heart to hear them say this stuff. We want to go out so badly and maybe get married someday(we have known each other and felt this way 4 years). My parents went so far as to hint that they might write me out of the family. I am willing to take that risk but I need some help dealing with them. Please!?

My family and I don't get along very well and my parents used to abuse me.

My god thank you so much to those people who supported and gave reasons. I am crying and he is too. KISSES AND HUGS to you all!

Answer 1

First, it's too bad people treat him like crap! Everyone should be accepted for who they are, not what they are.
Second, I admire you for trying to stand up for your beliefs.
Third, just b/c it's "happened to your mother", doesn't mean that "all guys are the same".
Fourth, I say you have to follow your heart.

Before you do anything drastic like get married to this guy, re-evaluate what you have in this relationship. Maybe make a list of pros/cons. When looking for a life partner, you must know what is is you're looking for and not settle for less. You need to be happy with yourself, before you can be happy in a relationship. A partner "completes your happiness".

Perhaps you two should consider some pre-marital counseling (like smart couples do) to make sure you know what commitment you're getting into, find out if you're really ready for this level of step in your life and give yourselves the opportunity to completely look inside.

What level of trust is there between the two of you? Trust and communication are the number two things that make or break any relationship. If you feel confident that this relationship is going to work, then I say "go for it", following some or all my advice.

You are very young and have lots of time to build an even stronger bond with your man. Allow time to help you through this situation in your life. Only you know the conversations you'd had with him - do you believe with all your heart and sould that this is "meant to be"?

Because of the sexual orientation involved, perhaps you could look into a sex therapist, too. No, not to "change him", but to make sure he CAN commit to you for life!

GOOD LUCK!!!!! I care!

Answer 2

Wow thats harsh! My advice for you would be to do what you feel in your heart. If you love him and he loves you then do what your heart tells you. Ive learned over the years that no matter what you decide to do as a child your parents will love you the same. Your mother has been through pain and doesnt want there daughter to feel the same but you need to let your mother know that this is your life and you have taken the pre-cautions on who you have fallin in love with. Once you find a place it will get easier.
Just be honest with your family and let them know how you feel about him.
Have a talk with your mother just the two of you and exspress everything that your feeling and how it hurts you to hear what she says. You are old enough to make the choice on who to love. I hope it works out! My mother is just starting to come around after a year of finding out her daughter is gay! Good luck!

Answer 3

Ok for starters you are 22 years old you are to old for your parents to say that you can not date him.

If you don't stay together then you know what at least you got what you got at the time. It will not ruin your life. I don't know why people say that. You can only make your life what you want it to be. There is no ruining your life. It might be a little rocky but you made it rocky.

You need to tell your parents that its time that you learn on your own what you want and don't want, and that you need to live and learn. Not saying that what you are doing is not going to work becuase it could be the best thing in the world and you know what thats how you need to look at. he could be the best thing to ever happen to you and if not he is the best thing at this moment in time.

I know that you are looking for your own place and still live with your parents and all but you really need to talk to tem and tell them that you are old enough to make you own choses.

Sorry if some of this is mis-spelled I don't spell the best but I think you get what I mean

Answer 4

You're in a tough spot. Family vs. True love. I understand your mom is just trying to protect you because of what she went through, but you're 22, you've graduated college, so youre in charge of your own life. Im sure you've tried explaining to your family how you felt about this guy, but it isnt working. You should explain that in the end, you're a grown woman and that you must learn from your own mistake. I'm sure your family will not write you out, just a little ticked off. But you have to follow your heart and make your own choices. I cant look inside your heart and tell you what means most to you, i just hope you dont end up regretting whatever decision you made. I only wish you but the best of luck.

Answer 5

You definitely need to get on that apartment searching! You are a grown woman, and you know who you love. I know it's not easy, having to constantly justify it, though.

Get an apartment ASAP. Until then, just duck and cover! Do your parents work? Have outside hobbies? Are there times when you can be home when they are gone, and vice versa? Do you have any other friends you could stay with until you get your own place?

I admire your determination. This guy is very lucky to have you! Just stay strong. Don't let them dictate who you can and cannot see. They lost the ability to tell you what to do a long time ago.

Can he help you find a place to stay? Could you both move in together?

Answer 6

Honey, you are twenty-two. Everytime one of us pees our parents off in my family, we are wrote out of the will. There are so many wills, no one can keep up with them. If you and your man feel the way you do, no one is going to know or not if you two would work out unless you make that leap of faith. Mom and dad will have to take a chill pill and get over it. Remember when you were younger? When your parents would fuss on end about something you didn't care to hear about anymore and you let it go in one ear and out the other? Why can't you do that now? Then when you do get your own apartment, its your home your castle and you can do as you please. Just get industrious and make your move into your own place quick. Just bite your tongue and bide your time right now. Hurry up and get that apartment!

Answer 7

I hope that you're not running in this relationship as to escape your parents abuse. If I was you, I'd find my own place and live on my own for a few to settle things down. Is your bf out of the closet as bi ? can it be a possibility of him trying to escape and show the world that he's straight? Take things slowly,think twice before you do things,if something is meant to be, no matter what, it will happen. If you want,you are free to contact me. Hope all goes fine with you, take care >:D<

Answer 8

I can see where they're coming from. If he marries you then in order for him to be a good husband then he'd have to change from bi to straight to be with you. If he doesn't then there is a very good chance that he'd cheat on you. You are 22 years old and you are old enough to make your own decisions. There is no dealing with your parents on this issue though. They seem to have made up their minds. Not everything in life is going to go the way we want it to. You may end up having to choose between him and your parents, but if you choose him then remember what I said about him having to go straight to be with you.

Answer 9

Take the risk. Your parents obviously don't know this guy as much as you do, and refuse to take a closer look because they can't get past the fact that he's bi. That's their problem. Don't make it yours! If you like this guy, stick with him! Both me and my dad ask you this: What kind of parents threaten to opt you out of the family over something they aren't willing to even discuss?

Anyways, good luck to you both! ;-)

Answer 10

Well, your parents are always going to be concerned trying to protect your heart. If you enter into a relationship, you have a 50/50 chance of getting a broken heart in any relationship. (bi, straight, lesbian). If you are aware of the situation and know the risks well go for it. Every relationship is suppose to teach you many things. Tell your parents, what if I brake his heart?