Shall I break up with her?

Question

I met this girl about three month ago and she seemed so into me at the beginning. I had just got out of a relationship and wasn’t really ready for another one. After a while I started to like this girl and finding myself falling for her. We used to have all kind of fun together however she seemed a bit unhappy about her personal problems in her life. After she wrecked her car in an accident which happily she didn’t have a serious injury all those nagging about her life turned to serious depression and no matter how hard I’d try to make her happy she was never satisfied. She lives out of town and I have to drive to her place for 1.5 hours every time (3 hr both ways) to bring her with me to my place or dinner or a party. I bring gifts to her place or some stuff she needs from town just to make her feel I care about her but she always have something to pick a fight at me with. I’m honestly loosing my feeling for her and last time I even feel like having sex with her cause she was crying in my arms over why her life is so miserable and she can not have the fun she deserves or why she can not afford another car or go traveling. You might think I’m crazy to put up with this **** but all this time I’d think maybe I could help her out through those hard times. But I think it’s time for me to take care of myself and leave her with her pity for herself. Don’t you think it’s time for me to break up with her?

Thank you all for your honest answers. I appriciate them all. Ktray, you're damn funny man, That was hilarious!

Answer 1

Three months isn't really enough to say you tried. If you want to bail, bail. She can probably do better, and if you're that wishy washy you're likely part of her problem.

Answer 2

First, you've only known this girl for 3 months and shortly after you were dating she wrecked her car, right?, ok things happen, but she is already becoming high maintenance and seems to have a lot of baggage. You said you were just coming out of another relationship before you started seeing her---don't be a doormat and feel that you have to somehow save her. Cars get wrecked she needs to figure out a way to fix her problems...and not make you suffer through her weekly pity party. Before long she'll be asking you for money or something and you'll be getting sucked in and used. Find her a therapist if you think she is suffering from depression and may harm herself.

Life is full of a lot of ups and downs--you want someone that can cope... You were just coming out of another relationship before you started dating her---you need to just go out and have some fun and date different people--give yourself a little time before you get hot and heavy with another person. Your a nice guy to drive 1.5 hours one way to see her, run errands for her etc---but life isn't a one way street and she should not be expecting it and then treat you badly. People that want to have pity parties for themselves all the time look for nice people to latch onto and suck the life out of ---your vunerable right now---so my suggestion is to break up with her...and move on.

Answer 3

The relationship is draining and causing more misery than happiness or fun. You should have a serious talk with her and let her know how you feel. You may even suggest she try professional help. Make her aware that you sincerely care, but you are not able to handle the downward spiral the relationship is taking you. Let her know you are becoming more depressed and if things do not change for the better you will have to do what is best for you.

Answer 4

If you really love her hang in there only if you feel she is worth it seems like she is suffering from depression like you said she need counseling and prayers talk to her and tell her how you feel but at the same time you shouldn't have jumped into another relationship so soon are you on the rebound with this female or something maybe she senses that also. Get together with her and her family and talk it out but whether you are there or not pray for her because the devil likes misery and she needs to shake it off and try to get through this depression

Answer 5

It's always easy for people on the outside looking in to say yea break up with her, but no one knows how you feel about her but you.. in my opinion, i think that you really love this girl bcuz if you didn't then you would be driving 1.5 hours just to see her and bring her gifts....
She seems to be going through a ruff time right now, and it may not seem like it but she needs someone right now, stop thinking that it may be something toward you... because she may just be taking things out on you because, she may not know how to deal with her stress... i would know because my girlfriend went through the same thing and i thought it was something that i was doing but all a long it was her going through something, that really had nothing to do with me...
All i can tell you is to be patient with her, talk to her and tell her how you feel... tell her how it makes you feel when she does the things she do...and LISTEN and also watch the way she respon's to you and then you will have you answer as to what you need to do....

Answer 6

Time for some hard facts:
1. You cannot MAKE anyone else happy.
2. You are being used.
3. You are putting up with being used.
4. You cannot "fix" her. She will not magically "get better".It only goes downhill from here.
5. You are trying to be a rescuer, the knight in shining armor syndrome. It is 10 miles of bad road.
6. YOU deserve to be happy. Do what will make you so.

Answer 7

Maybe she feels that you don't truly love her and that's why she is so hysterical. Leave her alone, then, but don't dump her. Give her time. She needs to work on those issues alone.
If you love her, don't dump her, but give her time.
You are unfair and cruel if you leave her in the middle of a depression, it will make her feel even worse!
Either talk seriously and openly with her and try to find out if there is anything about YOU bothering her, or: leave her alone for some time and check back in a couple of days.
Maybe she calms down with the nagging.

But, you know what?
If she is just depressed, she will have to climb out of that ALONE and you should not dump her, but give her time and a homework:
"sort your issues and, if done, call me".
:)

Answer 8

Sassy Says, Ask oprah man, but if you want my petty opinion I would say run!! Run b-4 it is too late and she pulls a misery move (Stephen King). If it has been that short of a time together and she is compleatly hopeless, think about how bad it is goinbg to get over time. Yikes...That is psycho, she needs a lot more help than you and Oprah and I could give. Good luck and sleep with a gun

Answer 9

I think if you truly care for her then you will stick by her side. My therapist told me something. "Only YOU can make you happy. No one else." So.. naturally.. YOU wouldn't be able to make her happy. That's something that she needs to figure out on her own. But.. it does help to have someone there when she's trying to figure out her life. It will take time, but in the end it will all be worth it. As for picking fights... People generally do that when they're unhappy with their lives. They turn their frustration on someone else. It's nothing personal against you. Just.. be there for her and help her find out what she wants in life and you'll be rewarded in the long run. I understand that it's frustrating, but if you truly care for her.. You'll do anything for her. Do this for her. She obviously needs you around.

Answer 10

I think y'all should at least go on a break for a while. But she sounds seriously depressed, so try to keep bein there for her. You could also help her find a proffessional to talk to. Help her to get happy again, and then maybe you can start all over again with the relationship. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 11

Unless you truly care for her, then you will. If you really like her, you should stick by her and help her through her hard times. If she seems like more of a complainer though, she probably just wants attention. In that case, I'd take a break.