I am asking this because I keep hearing about men who realized they are gay when they are already middle-aged and married. Could these people have had a mutually satisfying sex life with their wives or girlfriends before they came out?
2006-08-02 10:43:08 · 17 answers · asked by semma 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No, they never had a mutually satisfying sexual relationship in the first place...that's why them came out...they couldn't pretend to themselves or anybody else any longer. When I was young I had sex witha few females...it was ok...but when I finally had sex with a male...the fireworks all went off...I just couldn't get enough....I have no doubt that if I had married I would have eventually come out..the attraction to men was just too strong(even though I couldn't see/admit it at the time).
2006-08-02 12:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me be clear, Jonathan and I have both been out since we were teens and have been together a very long time (almost 15 years) -- however, we have friends coming out now that are out ages, and some in their 20s. What I can say about it is only what I've heard from them.
The answer is no, not unless they are bi.
You deny to yourself that you can be gay. You fight it. You tell yourself you aren't, and you live as if you aren't. One of our friends just came out at 25. He had been married for a year. His parents wanted him to be straight and wanted him to be married, so he married. He and his wife had sex of one form or another 15 times -- he remembers because each of the acts was an agony for him. A fair number of those times it was anal sex, with him closing his eyes and pretending real hard that it was one of his male friends.
Is that a mutually satisfying sex life? I would say not.
Regards,
Reyn
2006-08-02 14:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those men always knew they were gay they were just in denial but finally came out of denial while middle-aged. So men probably enjoyed it but enjoyed sex with a men much better. Some gay men who sleep with women think about having sex with a man while having sex with a women for them to stay hard and enjoy it.
2006-08-02 11:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by lowkey616 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally cannot understand people who say they did not realize they were gay until middle age. I knew I was gay at a very young age, but hid it until my early twenties, until I just couldn't live the lie anymore. I did have a relationship wih a woman before I came out, and of course the sex felt good, there just wasn't the intimicy and chemistry that should have been there.
2006-08-02 10:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by Harry_Cox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most anyone can have "just sex"....women included. I was married for several years and was able to have "just sex" but I can promise you there were absolutely no emotions there and nine times out of ten it was more "shut him up sex" than anything. I never had any kind of emotional sex until I met my partner. It's the most bonding emotion I've ever experienced. Just my thoughts on this...even though I am a girl!
2006-08-02 13:48:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, yes, and so can men who know they are gay or who know they are bisexual. Funny thing about us humans; we can do anything we make up our mind to do.
However, I agree completely with those who say that homosexual and bisexual (and heterosexual) people are born that way. I say the same thing. Where I differ is that I know that some gay men can enjoy sex with women (I have). But as others have mentioned, the gay guy doing that may eventually come to his senses (I did), and the pleasure quotient can change -- drastically (mine did).
2006-08-02 14:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, very good sex if they have not come out...many men can fantacize about men but have no real desire to do the deed....there are all kinds. I had a great marriage, two kids, very happy, then found the love of my life...was a mess, but made it through it. good luck
2006-08-02 10:49:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it. I've never slept with a woman and find the thought kind of icky, but most of my gay friends have slept with at least one woman. They said it was OK, I mean it's warm and wet so of course it probably feels OK, but truly satisfied, no I don't think so.
2006-08-02 10:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-08-02 10:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by RACQUEL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a gay man, but I have had sexual encounters with women. The actual sexual act (the bump & grind part) feels good, but I cannot enjoy kissing a woman. Nor do breasts do anything for me.
2006-08-02 10:48:03 · answer #10 · answered by bumwiz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋