My husband and I have a friend who we invited over for a cookout last Sunday. I told her it's know big deal if she didn't want to because my hubby and I were "kid free" the whole weekend and just wanted to know if she would like to come over. She said she would love to, so we got enough food for the 3 of us. The day came and she came over but bringing her sister and baby neice over as well without letting us know. Her sister took it upon herself to turn down our stereo, because of the baby and constantly complained about our dog sniffing her and her child. We did not say anything to the fact her sister was not invited but shared what we had with her. By the end of the evening her sister told us that in a half an hour or so a friend of hers was coming over with her baby son!!! When this other girl came, she to complained about our dog and left us to watch the babies so they could chat with each other. The whole time these 2 "friends" were in our home, we had to keep our dog on a leash!!
2006-08-02 10:41:33 · 16 answers · asked by linback_1970 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I talked to my friend, who was the one invited, about us being upset. She understood and apologized greatly and had no idea about the other girl coming over. Should we feel upset about being kid free and end up having 2 babies over and having to "put up" with the complaints about our dog? I didn't want to hurt our friends feelings but we were very angry and feel we should be the only ones upset. Now our friend won't talk to us! Are we in the wrong, even though we made it clear to her we were "kid free"? I don't want to lose her as a friend but feel she was taking advantage of us and we can't afford to feed everyone coming into our home, especially uninvited.
2006-08-02 10:47:04 · update #1
Our friend came to our need with our dog a few weeks ago and paid for us to take her to the vet when we could not afford to. We have paid her back and that's why we invited her over but she was told she did not have to because we were going to cookout no matter what.
2006-08-02 10:51:08 · update #2
While the "others" were here I did infact make not so kind remarks towards them and her sister and her friend became very upset and were demanding our friend to take her home. Her sister lives just 3 blocks from us and could have walked home!! So our friend left but I did call her and we talked about what happened and I really thought she was understanding about it. But we haven't heard from her and she always calls to see how we are doing, at least once a day! She told me the reason why she loves us both is because we are very straight forward people, but we didn't want to cause a scene by being rude ourselves even though it was in our own home. After it was all over with, believe me I spoke my mind!!!!!!!!!!! I had been drinking so I wasn't very tactful about it!! I really don't care that her sister and her sis's friend are mad at me but I just don't want our friend to be mad at us. But if she is, I guess we will just live with that.
2006-08-02 11:10:57 · update #3
We had another cookout a few weeks ago inwhich her sister was invited because our friend suggested the cookout infront of her sister. That was ok then but her sister turned our stereo then too and we told her not to touch our stuff that all she had to do was ask us to turn it down. She never did and took it upon herself to do what ever she wanted in our home. I did explain to my friend that her sister pisses us off and she will have to keep her sis home from now on....I guess that didn't sink in!
2006-08-02 11:23:13 · update #4
Next time, I'd ask to confirm how many people were coming. Also, hint more heavily that there's "gonna be loud music" or something to give them something to consider.
From your perspective it's easy to criticize the friends, but there is a chance that you did not make the idea of being "kid free" as apparent to them as you thought. From her perspective, would she enjoy being the third wheel at a couple's bbq? In any case, I wouldn't invite her over anymore.
PS - if your friend "understood" and "apologized," why is she not talking to you?
2006-08-02 10:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by truthyness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is nice that you are so polite. Normally, you should not sink to the level of rude people, but in this instance, you were well within your rights to remind the sister that she and her child had not been invited to your home, and if the dog or music were bothering her, she should leave. You had no reason to put the dog on a leash. You also should not have watched the kids. They had no right to expect you to do that. You also should have told the sister that her friend and baby were not welcome. Finally, do not invite this "friend" anywhere for any reason ever again. You made clear the parameters of your invitation (her only, no kids) and she walked all over you. If I were you, not only would I tell this "friend" that I was upset, I would tell her she would be receiving no more invitations from me as she is a user.
2006-08-02 17:52:14 · answer #2 · answered by julz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely have the right to be upset! Holy Crap! I'm constantly amazing at how inconsiderate people can be. Having time to spend with your mate after having children is a rare commodity. I'm sure those two women realized what they were doing... it doesn't make it okay, but they were just plain taking advantage of your hospitality. Don't let there be a next time. If you decide to invite that friend of yours over again, make sure she understands its "adults only" and don't feel guilty about it. You deserve "your time" too! Good luck
2006-08-02 17:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by lolo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend had NO right to invite anyone to your home without first checking with you...and for her guest to invite yet someone else, was completely rude and thoughtless.
Yes, you have a right to be upset (I sure would be) even if it wasn't a "no kids" weekend...but on top of that for them to bring children when you'd made a point of letting your friend know you didn't have your kid(s) was icing on the cake...
I'd hesitate to invite her anywhere in the future, especially if the intent is to have JUST her company..what in the world was she thinking?
2006-08-02 17:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course u have a right to be upset. If hubby and I found our selves kid free and that happened to us....I would tell my "friend" that she was invited but since she invited her sister, etc. that she could handle getting rid of them and the kids too.
I would think twice about iniviting her again on a "kid free" weekend.
Now that's it's over and done with I would definitely have a talk w/my friend about the situation and explain y u r upset.
2006-08-02 17:49:04 · answer #5 · answered by mtngal_1966 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you and your husband have no tongues or lips to speak with...I am so sorry for you. People can ONLY be taken advantage of IF they allow it. As soon as I saw the kid in tow, I would have said the plans have changed due to an emergency, and left it at that. You are both fools for allowing this rudeness to be worked on you. What kind of "friends" do you have? And what kind of spine do you have...obviously, none. Good luck
2006-08-02 17:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the risk of inviting people into your home. I don't think you do have the right to be upset, but you certainly have the right to choose who you invite next time.
2006-08-02 17:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by John G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have the "right to be upset". The question is - do you still have the desire to be upset? That's a choice you can make if you want. Or, you could choose to learn from the incident and state your wishes more clearly in the future and chalk it up to bad communication.
2006-08-02 17:54:39 · answer #8 · answered by Drewe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should be upset.. you invited HER not her sister and definitely not her sister's friend OR THEIR KIDS!!! It was very nice of you to keep you dog on the leash, but you need to talk to the friend about what happened
2006-08-02 17:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by wanting_more_semich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have told them that although you liked the company of them that you don't appreicate unexpected and uninvited guest who complain about everything in your own home. And that if they were not liking the environment that they should have left.
2006-08-02 17:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by jewell2578 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋