Please somebody at least read my question.?

Question

I love this guy. I really truely do and its been hard for me to say that for a long time. No one knows but I feel alright sayin it here because nobody knows him or me. He and I are really close and great friends. I always thought something was a bit off-he was always more sensitive and he is my dance partner. A friend saw his myspace and found out he is bi. I don't care. I really truely don't. But I live in a very closed minded society. My parents tell me I would never be alowed to date him while i am under their roof and if I ever did they would *gulp* write me out of the family. I love my parents to death-but when they start tlking bout how bi guys can never love anyone and how it would make my life hell I don't know what to do. It hurts me to hear them say things like that. Oh and I am catholic(complicates things a bit) so I would be thrown out of my church. I love my church and everything but I love him. I can't stand to hear people say these awful things anymore. Help me!

I never said he didn't love me. As in love love with me. I know he does. A mutal friend has told me things he has said and I know because he kissed me!Just because he is bi doesn't mean he can love me.

He isn't anything less he is everything I want and I wouldn't be "settling". I just want help dealing with my parents-not conseling. I love him for all his faults and I have seen him at some of the worst and best times in his life. Love blind I am not.

Listen to me-the guy is in LOVE with me! ok and I love him please help me deal with my parents and community-

I am looking for an apartment right now. I am 22.

PLEASE READ DETAILS-THE GUY IS IN LOVE WITH ME AND I LOVE HIM AND WE HAVE FELT THIS WAY 4 BOUT A YEAR.

I don't want to change him.

This is the gay/lesbian/transexual board-I find it insulting that some of you are implying that those people(esp. my guy) are not healthy and mentally ill.

Answer 1

The fact that he's bi shouldn't even enter the equation. Have you talked to him about your feelings? Do you think he could be faithful to you? It sounds like you have a lot to lose. You will have to make a decision here. Don't let anyone else do that for you.
If you two love each other and can be faithful to each other then don't throw that away. It may be that friends is all he wants. Can you live with that if that is his decision? I've seen a few great relationships thrown away because of family and friends. It may take awhile for them to get used to the idea, but if they love you they will want you to be happy. Give them time to see that you and he are happy together and hopefully they will come around.

Best of luck to both of you!

Answer 2

Wish granted; your question has been read.

As for an answer: I feel for you, but I cannot in good faith tell you that "true love will conquer all" and that you should incur the wrath of your family and your faith for the sake of pursuing a relationship with this man.

By all means, use any feelings you have for him as a motivation to work for social change. Vote for the GLBT-friendly politicians (assuming you're old enough), support the businesses that have GLBT-friendly employment policies, maybe donate to a few political action groups if you have the money to spare (I suspect volunteering is out of the question for you at this point if you're still living with your parents). But bear in mind there's a difference between working for social change and working to change the hearts and minds of others. The latter happens much more slowly, and sometimes never. Standing up in front of your family and/or your church and saying "I love this man and there's nothing you can do to change that!" will not be heroism; it will be martyrdom. And I'm too jaded about humanity to think the odds are very good he'd be worth your sacrificing all the other meaningful relationships in your life.

Sorry, kid. Maybe someone else has a rosier outlook than I.

Answer 3

We can be attracted to people for many different reasons, and sometimes we may feel strongly about someone that would be really bad for us. Many times, the very thing our family is against is the very thing we think we want. Pray for guidance and ask God to help you seek what He intends for your life. It sounds like you have a good foundation- a good family that cares about you, and a faith that you respect. From experience, I must tell you that this guy is fighting demons of his own. You cannot change him and any attempt to do so would bring you frustration and pain. I do think that there are some things a person's family cannot control, and sometimes people have to learn the hard way. But trust this- keep the relationship platonic between you and this man. Keep the fantasies in your head only, and be available to have fun and have relationships with more healthy individuals.

Wait- I just read your added details- ok-so why are you asking? You have already made up your mind! Continue to pray about your decision. God help you.

Answer 4

I see no reason why this cannot work out just fine...If he is honest with you and you are with him...fully 40% of men are potentially bisexual. big deal. That he knows and admits it is just fine. Please be aware that some day, some how, there just may be a man wonder into his life that is overwhelming to him, and vice versa. Will you be able to handle sharing? I have been there, and I speak from experience. I was married, had the most beautiful wife you can imagine... former Ms. Illinois...with a two gorgeous sons. Everything was going great, both happy as hell. Then, all hell broke loose...I met someone, totally without trying, not looking...just was ...THERE! And it was an instant, mind boggling love that could not be controlled by either of us...he was married with two kids also. AFter 4 years of hell, my wife and I parted as very good friends, and are to this day. I raised my sons, we are very close to this day. The relationship with the guy lasted 16 years...Would I do things differently? Probably not. Did I decieve my wife...NO...She knew I had the potential, I had warned her. All of us are happy today, things have a way of working out. Do what makes you happy for the time being...there are NO guaranties in life.
Your parents will just have to get over it...it is your life. Good luck

Answer 5

As I read your question, I am reminded of the statement,"A house divided against itself can not stand." I have no doubt this young man is capable of loving you. The question I have here is, being bi-sexual, can he love ONLY you? I have to answer this question with no. Could you ever really trust him to be 100 percent faithful to you, and you alone knowing he can also love men as men are supposed to love women? Again the answer would have to be no. Any relationship you attempt to have with this man would truly be a house divided against itself. I can see nothing good coming from a relationship existing under these circumstances.

Relationships involve many different aspects of life. Among which is satisfaction, and I do mean satisfaction in every sense of the word. This guy is sexually attracted to men as well as women. There is just simply no way you could satisfy that part of him that wants to be with a man, because you are not a man. I think this is what your parents are trying to tell you, but are approaching it in the wrong way. As for your Church, myself included, any sexual relationship conducted in any manner than between a man and a woman is a perversion of what God intended, when he created Adam and Eve.

You can follow your heart as has already been suggested to you,unwisely by others, but you do so at your own peril. If you should decide to follow your heart, you do so at the risk of causing yourself great emotional agony and heart break later.

Answer 6

First off, does this guy even know that you feel this way about him?? From the way it sounds if the guy is bi then he will never have any intentions on being with just you...Believe me from experience, sometimes your parents do know what's best for you...If you are still young chances are him and you couldn't possibly be serious ever because of the fact that he is young and young guys are NEVER serious unless they are very experienced....I think that you should tell him how you feel in a suttle way and see his reaction, if it is standoffish then you should definately not pursue it...As far as Catholic...most of the priests are sleeping with the young altar boys anyway...so they do not have the right to thrown anyone out...God is a forgiving God and he will forgive you for any sin you commit, that is the reason that he gave him only son for US>>

Answer 7

I must say this your parents are trying to save you from future heart aches. It really is their job, to protect you even from yourself. Please listen to this, you and your love are heading in the wrong direction, and only pain and dis spear is in your future. I know that he is different and you are attracted to his difference but bisexual love affairs never seems to work out and not matter how much you may want it too. So in truth your best action is no action as far as he is concern. Loving someone is a very very hard thing to do when the both of you are straight. Also no matter what you do for him he will never be loyal to you no matter how many excuse you make for him he will take you along a path where you will never be able to cope with. So do yourself and your family a favor for right now and back off and think of all the danger area's and maybe just maybe you will see for your self the heart-breaks that are for sure coming for you.........

Answer 8

First of all, how old are you? If you still live with your parents you are not mature enough for a life lasting relationship. Someone else will come along later. Enjoy what you have now but do not just have sex with him to make him stay. He is still a boy, and boys only care about themselves. A man will love you someday. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. This guy is not the last guy you will ever love. I guarantee it. Good luck.

Answer 9

Ok. I dont know much about the religion thing but i can tell you that Bi guys can love. I am a bi guy. i was with this girl for 6 years. i still love her and would do anything for her if she needed it. i would not get back with her though. For me it is easier to fall for a woman. Dont get me wrong i still like guys. if it is your family that you are woried about then you need to think of the conciquences. you aparently already have. if you are under their roof then you need to follow their rules. even if you move out and they are supporting you then you still have to go by their rules. once you are truely on your own then move on your feelings. but keep in mind the conciquences of your actions.

Answer 10

You wouldn't be thrown out of the Church! Just repent or whatever, don't worry about that. As for your parents, maybe once they get to know the guy they'll realise what a nice guy he is. If you really like him, you will be able to wait a couple years. I don't know your parents well enough to know whether they'll actually throw you out, but it is your life, your decision.