what shud u do when ypu have a friend in an abusive relationship??

Question

my good friend in work is in an abusive relationship although its not noticable to the public. she is so young but wants to get married to the guy. im afraid he injures her badly. she ulready had a forceable abortion because of her boyfriend. what shud i do?? she is so blind to reality. and im the only 1 who knows

Answer 1

Honey, you are in a tight spot. If you talk bad about him, she's going to angry with you. You are in a no-win situation. Does she have any male family members you could talk to about the situation? Sometimes another man backing her up will put an end to the abuse. She won't get out of this just because of you. She has to WANT to get out and feel her self-worth. She needs counseling and maybe thats where you come in. Find some for her and go with her if you need to...then, back off. You will go completely nuts trying to work this out on your own and may be putting yourself in danger. God Bless.

Answer 2

Coming from a previous abusive marriage, I know the feeling that this girl is going through. The abuse will get worse once she is married and it is much more harder to get out of. She has a low self esteem and probably thinks he is the only man she can have. It is a lonely world to live in when you are abused because the emotional scars take years to heal even when the physical scars are gone. My advice would be to continue to be her friend even if it makes you mad about the abuse. Show her that there is a better way. I do agree when it is early on, nobody can tell you to stop seeing somebody, but she definitely needs you as a friend and something may "click". Maybe even find her counseling literature to read and understand that she isn't the only one that has or is going through this and it is best to stop this cycle before a baby is brought into her world.

Answer 3

I have been through the same. My mom was like that. And her boyfriend would beat her up everyday literally. She lost three babies. I have tried telling her and I have told my grandma to tell her. She never listened to anybosy and the relationship lasted about 12 years. The guy was terrible, he was even sexually abused me. Anyways... I guess you can tell her, but I doubt she will listen. She "thinks" this man loves her, when he is just using her. Tell her honstly. Don't hold back anything. Do not say "I know he loves you, but he is hurting you." It will make her think that he will change. Say "This man does not love you. he can even kill you. You need to grow up and leave him. He will never change and this relationship is stupid." She will get mad, I guarantee, but it might help her lighten up. Many times even this doesn't worl, that's when you bring other people into this. Call the cops or something. Maybe even a therapist. I am sorry, but I have never seen these kind of situations end up in a ".. they lived happily ever after.".... My cousin went through the same thing (just not as bad as my mom) and she even had two kids with him. Now he has been in jail for almost 4 years and has about 20 years left. Tell her to call the cops and if he doesn't, I suggest you do.. I think you can even make it anonymous. But yeah.... I wish you all the luck in the world and for your friend also. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

Answer 4

Man you asked a tough one. You are her friend and she trust you enough to share something like this. That puts you in a catch 22. If you try to help and betray her trust, you'll lose her. If you nothing and she gets really hurt by this guys, you'll lose her.
There are places out there for abused women to go and get help. But they have to want out. Your friend sounds like she's a sweetie and yet insecure. Staying in a relationship that is definitely not because she loves him. How can you love someone that hurts you. Or live with someone that you know will hurt you again.
People like your friend don't realize it's not only them that suffer. If you were going through the same thing what would she say or do. Find battered women shelters and literature before you approach her. Good luck

Answer 5

I don't think he'll marry her, if he loved her he wouldn't have made her get an abortion. All I can tell you is to just be a friend and be there for her. She's love blind at the moment and hopefully she'll open her eyes before it's to late.Maybe you can mention something to her parents or her siblings about it.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, u r unable to force her out of the relationship. U r able 2 b there 4 her & attempt 2 convince her 2 get out of the relationship.

Answer 7

you need to be pleased with your self for finally leaving that pathetic excuse for a guy. No guy could ever take care of a woman like that lower than any situation. If I were you, i could have talked about as the police and had him arrested. besides, look in the route of the destiny and in no way look decrease back. Slowly yet incredibly you receives your existence decrease back, i'm able to promise you that. My heart is going out to you, i changed into once in the same abusive relationship and it turned right into a tricky transition to get my existence decrease back to an section the position i changed into satisfied again. only stay helpful, save busy, attempt to satisfy various human beings and maximum heavily, in no way even imagine about letting your abusive ex decrease back into your existence for any reason. through the years, you receives your existence and happiness decrease back. you need to breathe contained in the destiny, and breathe out the previous:)

Answer 8

Just be supportive, she can only make decisions for herself when she is ready. It would be helpful to give her some information about local agencies that provide emergency shelter or where she can get some counselling, or some brochures about relationship abuse which available in hospital waiting rooms and doctor's offices, pharmacies and the local women's shelters.

Answer 9

u should try to help her as much as poossible. it may even take therapy.both of u go together but don't let her know where u 2 r going cuz she might back out.or one day ask if she wants to have a girls only day with u and tell her how u feel and ask questions about the relationship and ask if anything is wrong and if there is anyway u can help.well sorry but thats all i got

Answer 10

Apparantly, you are the one who is concern here.....your friend is in the relationship and she isn't showing any concern, frankly she is still thinking about having a future with the guy....why should you intervene? in any case if you do get through to her she is going to blame you for good. you did think about the consequences right? you are her friend your main purpose is to advise her, but at the end of the day the decision is all hers....!!! sometimes people have to pass through certain things in order to learn from it, apparantly she isn't seeking help from you so let it be, if something do happens God Forbid!!!! then the friend role comes in where you will have to be there for her.....hope this helps....best of luck