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I am married for 3 years now to a man that i didnt love since. We just live together in one roof for a year now since I got here, US. I thought love can be learn when you are with the person already but I was mistaken. He is 52 and I am 28. During our first year of marriage I fall for somebody else through internet dating. We are much inlove to each other and so we end up meeting each othere after a year of communication . He knows that I am married and he was asking me leave my marriage and go with him but I am scared and feel pity to the person I married because he is so nice. He give me everything I need: love, security and precious things in life even my family when they need something. I love the other person but what I do with the person I married. Please help!!!

2006-08-02 08:28:03 · 20 answers · asked by sweety 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

20 answers

you can't just stay with someone cause of the things that they give you. you have to love them. if you don't love him then don't stay with him....if you have never loved him then it is time to let him go. it's not fair to him for you to just stay with someone cause you pitty them.

2006-08-02 08:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by girliegirl26 2 · 0 0

Lets call it like it is: You are a GOLDDIGGER! First of all, why are you even communicating with some other man while you're married to this good man you don't love? I don't think you've even given him a chance; but, it seems like you only wanted him for his money and security anyway. You should be ashamed of yourself for using anyone like that; but, then again, I'm sure he knows he's being used. Do your husband a favor and leave him so he can find someone close to his own age who will appreciate him because you don't. OH..and that guy on the internet...he's probably married too. Maybe he'll beat you as$ cause you certainly need a can of 'whop-asss' poured on you bigtime.

2006-08-02 15:40:28 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0 0

It is a very difficult situation for you.

The 52 year old man you are with now must love you so very much. What keeps you from loving him? He seems so wonderful.

The other person you met over the Internet might be good for you but you probably don't know much about him. He might be bad to live with, not respect your parents, etc.

I think you should turn off the computer and focus on your marriage. You didn't give it much attention if you found someone on the Internet after just one year of marriage.

Good Luck,

2006-08-02 15:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0 0

Somehow the text of your question suggests a Russian or other East European. You have been extremely fortunate to become the wife of a good man who has been so reliable and caring.

You have made a mistake in taking up with someone else and deceiving your husband. And you do not know whether the new man is going to be so reliable and supportive - you haven't lived with him and had the experiences of seeing how he actually is.

No matter what choice you make now, it is risky and comes from a mistake to begin with. So answer the question yourself. After you choose, no matter which, will you be able to wake up every day and look at yourself in the mirror and feel good?

2006-08-02 15:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Der Lange 5 · 0 0

I think that you need to talk about your unhappiness with your husband - he sounds like a nice guy and even though you don't love him you seem to like him. You don't really know this guy from the Internet at all, so I certainly wouldn't move straight into a relationship with him. Forget about him and sort out your marriage - either try to make it work or leave on as good terms as you can. Even if you don't stay with your husband, why do you need to get straight into another relationship?? You may benefit from being single for a while and finding out what you really do want from life and your relationships. Good luck.

2006-08-02 15:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by bertha 2 · 0 0

It sounds like you married in order to provide your basic needs... food on the table, a roof over your head, security, etc. Once those needs were met, you realized (probably very quickly) that it wasn't enough.
A guy named Maslow figured this out decades ago. Psychology texts draw a pyramid called "Maslow's heiarchy of needs". You're not being "selfish", though you are wanting to meet your own personal needs. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. You're moving up the pyramid. Once physical and security needs are met, you need something more, and your heart, mind and body literally ache for it.
You'll never be happy in your current marriage. And you'll never be happy if you carry a load of guilt into your next one. So... go. go free.

2006-08-02 15:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by antirion 5 · 0 0

Have you gotten your green card yet? If so, you can divorce your husband. I know, I am an immigrant too, but I love my husband. But I know that after a couple of years in this country and being married you can be on your own. Do you have a social security number? I am sure you do, but if not, go and get one so you can get a job and start taking care of yourself.
If you have any questions , contact me.
Good luck.

2006-08-02 15:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by stickan8 3 · 0 0

You made a committment to your husband that you shouldn't have made it you weren't in love. Now that you are in love you see that marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly. If you aren't happy then ask your husband for a divorce. If he truly loves you he will do it to see you happy. I wouldn't bring up the other guy though. That would be like putting salt in his wound. Hope this helps.

2006-08-02 15:37:47 · answer #8 · answered by elr212006 3 · 0 0

Just leave your husband. That's better than cheating on him. If there's no spark yet then there's never going to be. Honestly, you never should've married him in the first place if you didn't love him. Follow your heart.

2006-08-02 15:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by Cira 2 · 0 0

No person can answer this question CORRECTLY for you. This is your life, but Love isnt selfish, Best advice is to Pray To GOD for the answers..good luck, prayers sent your way! God Bless

2006-08-02 15:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by lynn A 1 · 0 0

Alrighty then. Divorce your husband and move on I guess? You can't have your cake and eat it too ya know. You'll get caught.

You know what the problem is?

You can lead a bi*th to water, but you can't make her think!!!

2006-08-02 15:34:32 · answer #11 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0 0

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