My husband said we have to wait another 9 months before I get pregnant, I need to find ways to cope?

Question

My husband agreed to start trying for a baby in 9 months. We have been together for 5 years.

He wants to wait so that we will pay off our mortgage while we are trying for a baby. The house will be paid off 3 months after we start trying.

He refuses to start earlier because we don’t have the extra cash for a baby now because our mortgage payments are so high.

I think about having a baby everyday and it makes me sad when I see babies, baby clothes, etc.

What makes it worse is that a friend of mine is pregnant after knowing her boyfriend for a year.

Its hard to be happy for her when I have been looking forward to having a child with my husband for years.

How do I pass time so I am not bummed out?

How do I get the idea of having a child out of my head?

I said I was WAITING for another 9 months. I am an accountant, I know a thing or two about money! I asked how do I deal with being bummed out. And how do I make time pass.

There's a bunch of critical ******* on here. I am a grown woman, not some teen girl begging for a child. And I have been living in the real world since the day I turned 18.

Thanks for your BS.

Just wanted to say sorry for my outburst. I am kind of sensitive to this topic. LOL.

And just to let everyone know I have been mommy to my dog for almost 3 years now, so the puppy idea won't work. :(

Answer 1

my daughter wasn't a mistake she just took 6 years to make.....I hope you don't have any complications staying pregnant, it will be worse...........
but the real anser is

borrow someone elses kid for a while, this is good birth controll

Answer 2

You should still be happy for your friend, it's not her fault your husband wants to wait. 9 months will go by so fast, and it sounds like the smart thing to do. You guys will have so much more money when the mortgage is paid off. Take up a hobby to help get your mind off of babies. What about knitting? You could knit a little sweater for your future baby. Or you could take up a part-time job to pass the time and pay off that mortgage even quicker. Just relax and before you know it you will have a baby.

Answer 3

You really are being stupid or haven't thought about the realities of bringing up a child.

Your husband is so right. To have a mortgage free home what a pleasure.

I presume you are also earning so therefore will lose one income.

A child is a responsibility, a pleasure and an expense.

You evidently love your husband and want to bear his children well please wait as once the heavy bills start coming in by having children your marriage could go out the window due to stress and worry.

If you are really feeling stressed/hard done by please go for counselling as u are being totally irresponsible.

For now rather go out and buy a puppy and put your broodines into it for the time being. However make sure that the pup you buy will be child friendly.

So conclusion wait and you will not regret it.

Answer 4

First, your husband is absolutely right in wanting to wait. Second, it may be that he really doesn't want children anyway and is just agreeing to it for your sake. Perhaps he fears the change it will bring in your lifestyle and relationship. Maybe he would prefer to remain the center of your world and not be relegated to the role of sperm donor. Third, you need to look at yourself and find out why you are so insecure as a person that you feel you must have a child to be complete. How do you cope? I really can't say, except that 9 months is not that far away. You've been patient for 5 years now, a little more patience and you will have your desire.

Answer 5

I think your husband is right, if at all possible, things should be financially stable when having a child, because with all the joy that a child brings, there is also stress which doesn't need to be compounded by financial stress if it's avoidable!! It's not as if he doesn't want to ever have children, but, if after the 9 months is up and things are financially stable and he still wants to postpone trying, THEN I might question his real feelings on the issue, but right now it just seems that he's being very wise about it. ~The las thing you should be doing in this situation is trying to have children with someone who isn't ready (plus he has valid reasons for this anyway!)!!

Answer 6

Add up all of the expenses of raising a child from day one to age 18, then add to that the cost of college tuition today times three and you'll have what it will cost you to raise and educate that child. Post this amount where you will see it every single day. Want to talk about being "bummed out".
Your husband is being quite smart in wanting the house to be paid off. That will be one less bill you'll have to deal with every month after the baby comes. You should be happy he is thinking about your financial future rather than putting you in the poor house.

Answer 7

I'm sorry but that's pathetic. Your husband is completely right - he wants to be financially stable so that you can provide for your children. So you have to wait another 9 months - big deal, suck it up, deal with it. It's just 9 months - it's not forever. I'm 28, married almost a year and I don't even want kids yet. I'm so glad because they seem to be so much more trouble then they're worth. You've got a good husband, try and be a better wife for him. He deserves the best.

Answer 8

Babies are not everything, you can still have a life while you're waiting for the right time and working to pay off your bills. If your husband is sincere in his wanting to get a bit ahead financially, you've got nothing to worry about. Bottom line... Get a life; do stuff that you really want to do - because once the kid comes, you'll be stuck with it for a while.

Answer 9

Don't get obessed with getting pregnant or you will have trouble getting pregnant. Let it happen naturally.

Also don't be sad when your friends are pregnant or you see baby stuff. You know it will happen in good time for yourself.

Millions of people have babies every year AND pay a mortgage. You will never have enough free money to have and raise your children. You just learn to sacrafice and live within your means.

Good luck!

Answer 10

While I agree it is wise to make sure you can afford a baby, this seems ridiculous. If you are within 9 months of paying off the house, that is so close that it doesn't matter -- besides, you may have to try for a year before you are successful and the clock is ticking...

Can't you just tell him you are going off the pill and that is that, end of story. Within a month he will be so horny that he will start to see it your way.

Answer 11

Mr. Chivalry says, "I can understand your husband's point of view. While having extra money can be a cornerstone for providing your child with care, time is moving. So I understand where you're coming from as well. Maybe you can get your husband to compromise with you. Maybe you can get him to cut the time in half. Who knows? It's your life, and your desire. We are here only here to give opinions. God luck to you."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.