My husband agreed to start trying for a baby in 9 months. We have been together for 5 years.
He wants to wait so that we will pay off our mortgage while we are trying for a baby. The house will be paid off 3 months after we start trying.
He refuses to start earlier because we don’t have the extra cash for a baby now because our mortgage payments are so high.
I think about having a baby everyday and it makes me sad when I see babies, baby clothes, etc.
What makes it worse is that a friend of mine is pregnant after knowing her boyfriend for a year.
Its hard to be happy for her when I have been looking forward to having a child with my husband for years.
How do I pass time so I am not bummed out?
How do I get the idea of having a child out of my head until its time to try for one?
2006-08-02 08:23:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you'll have your house paid off in a year, that's great. Think of ways to spend that extra money. Take this time NOW to look up college savings plans. Research all the baby products you could use.
2006-08-02 08:28:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, but having a baby is best when BOTH parents truly want it. You certainly don't want to make your husband uncomfortable and possibly cause him to become resentful if things don't work out the way he had hoped (financially, etc.).
In the meantime, focus on getting your body ready for pregnancy. Chart your cycles to learn when you are most fertile so that when you start trying to get pregnant, you're more likely to be successful sooner. Also, get those much-needed medical exams and also the often overlooked dental exam that you should have before pregnancy. Make sure you take all your vitamins (talk to your doctor about whether you should start taking prenatal vitamins) to ensure a healthy baby. Exercise, stop drinking/smoking (if you do that), and make sure to eat healthy to prepare your body. Also, start doing those Kegel exercises and start reading up on pregnancy and all the things you need to know. You'll probably be thankful to have the extra time to prepare!
And finally, take these nine months to really enjoy your husband and your life with just the two of you. Take vacations or long weekends away, do activities you've always wanted to try (skiing? waterskiing? hiking? hot-air ballooning?) and help yourselves grow closer together. You may not have this chance again for a long, long time!
2006-08-02 08:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by JustMyThought 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't and won't get it out of your mind. Thank God for a good responsible man, the desire to have a baby, your fertility and 9 months actually being a pretty short time! Don't ever compare yourself to others, that only causes discontentment. So in a year from now you might be sitting there with a little bump!! Do a countdown! This is awesome! Make it your own little party/project/celebration! In the meantime, volunteer to help while you have the time and two free hands... that's all gonna disappear SOON. You can go to the library and ask to help with story hours. You can become a hospital or children's home volunteer. You can find out about crack babies ( I am serious ~ a good friend used to do this and she told me they never had enough people ) by contacting local agencies and hospitals. They need to be held in order to be able to survive. You can make it! Do the countdown thing and make it fun.
2006-08-02 08:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to pass time why don't you volunteer your time at a local orpahanage since you like to be around kids. Believe it or not your husband is somewhat on the right track. Kids do not cost as much as people say but they do take a small toll on your paycheck. If you go and buy the child everything babies r us has to offer then yes you willbe applying for bankruptcy very soon but if you buy only the essentials it is not that bad. However, being that is is your first you will probably want to go a little out of your way so I do suggest waiting.
2006-08-02 08:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by missy1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may seem, your husband has a good idea... 'cause once the baby comes, there is no heading back. Go to Chuck E Cheese and see the chaos that is children.. then go home and soak in a tub and listne to the quiet. Enjoy the peacefulness of now. Children are wonderful, but they create chaos too. So do the fun pre-planning things now... pick out a crib... think about pregnancy fitness.. etc. 9 months may seem long now.. but it will seem even longer while you begin the worrying and joy that is parenthood. Good luck.
2006-08-02 08:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by julesac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him, tell him how sad you feel about not at least trying to get pregnant. also, tell him that it takes time to get pregnant, so even if you wait 9 months, it doesn't mean that the moment you start trying you will get pregnant.
it could take 9 months to just get pregnant!
i would talk to him....it sounds like he thinks he can just call the shots and your marriage needs to be more ofa partnership. sure, it's a great idea to have your mortgage paid off before having kids, which means even more expense, however, there's always going to bills and money flying out the check book.
try to reason with him. tell him how much this means to you and hopefully, he will come around and try to compromise...maybe wait 4 months instead??
in the meantime....get ready by eating well, exercising, getting to a healthy point in your life.
also, start buying diapers! just a pack or so everytime you get groceries. they can be really expensive, so if you already have a stock of them, it will help!!!!
i've been doing this for the past few months and i'm due in september. everyone i know recommends pampers over any other brand...they say they are the best when it comes to combating leaks!
take care!
2006-08-02 08:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is completely natural to want a child with your husband of 5 years. How ever i must agree with his wanting to wait until your mortgage is paid off. You need finacial stability to have a baby (most people dont yet have kids anyway).
Its natural to be thinking about having a baby all the time. You want one. Dont deny yourself the thought. You are allowed to think about it. Trying not to think about it will make it alot worse.
Try distracting yourself by taking up a new hobby or reading.
2006-08-02 08:31:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋