Okay, I have been married for about 4 years and I have been best friends with a male for almost 7 years. We are very close, some say "too close". When we are around each other, I sense that he is very uncomfortable around me, like wise for me. He calls me during his breaks at work, it's a shame when I know his break times. We talk almost 5 times a day. I talk to him more than my husband and we live in the same house. My male bf recently had a tradegy and he broke down crying on the phone with me. He pretty much told me how much he love me and that he didn't know what he would do if he didn't have me in his life. I pretty much confessed my love to him and we were both crying on the phone together. He is fine, no doubt, and he likes smaller frame girls. I am not his type, yet we are like brother and sister. He has been with alot of women, and he can't seem to stay in a relationship. He said that he would choose me over a girl anyday. Is he in love with me, or just loves me as a friend?
2006-08-02 07:54:36 · 18 answers · asked by MovingOnWithMyLife..Your Loss! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your marriage is always more imprtant than any friendship no matter who you've known the longest. Get your priorities straight.
2006-08-02 07:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes, that sounds like a difficult situation. Emotional connections are far worse or hurtful than if you would have even had a physical relationship with him. There were some boundary issues involved the minute you shared more information with your friend than your husband.
Having said that, I don't blame you for your actions. I was in a relationship where I was always judged and questioned by my significant other. I felt it was too hard to share anything with him since he always criticized it or tried solving a problem. Sometimes, you just want to be listened to.
To save your relationship with your husband, you need to stop being friends with this guy. It will be so tough, but you will be better off in the end.
Good luck.
2006-08-02 08:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happily Married? Who are you kidding? This "friend" is obviously doing it for you unlike your husband. You are cheating on your husband by having a realtionship with another man (one that doesn't involve him).
You are cheating yourself by not being with your "friend". You are cheating your "friend" by staying married to your husband.
You two have a closeness that does not exist in your marriage, If it did, no one else would "get in" and you would have no interest in sharing that kind of intimacy with anyone else.
Forget about "type". "Types" are only an ideal standard, but totally unrealistic. Types are a way to avoid intimacy and limit the prospective dating pool. Types are superficial, and subject to change, when one finds satisfaction outside that ideal.....
If he has been around, and he still picks you above all else, he sounds like he is genuine.
You should crap or get off the pot. Leave your husband. it is not fair to him or you, to stay together. Set him free to find someone who feels about him, the way that this guy feels about you.
It sounds like you don't think you deserve to be loved the way you should. Is that because you feel guilty about this friendship on the side? Is that why you question this friend's love for you?
2006-08-02 08:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your male friend is just loving you as a friend and a safety net. If nothing came about this relationship before you were married than more than likely nothing will come of it afterward. If you are truly happily married, then you don't need to even worry about any kind of feelings for this guy because your husband should be the only romantic love you should be feeling.
2006-08-02 08:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by mahacaea4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you were indeed "happily" married, you wouldn't be falling in love with a male friend, to which you are too close for comfort. Anyway, looks like you are using this friend to separate yourself emotionally from your husband, with whom you are not happy. If you were to leave your hubby for this guy, chances are, it wouldn't work out, otherwise you two would have gotten it on when you met 7 years ago. In any case, if you want to know if this friend is IN LOVE with you, ask him directly and simply that and tell him he can be completely honest.
2006-08-02 08:12:15 · answer #5 · answered by cozy_yellowbeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think talking five times a day is too much fora friendship, your married for crying out loud!, if that's the case you should hvae married your bf. I say that ya need space, to NOT give ya selves the oppurtunity to fall in love, especially being that you've already tied the knot with someone else.
2006-08-02 08:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by kittykat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your are his friend not his wife. You have to chose your husband or your friend. You have to stop playing these games or you will lost both relationships,because you are confused. Only man who has your attention on is your friend? What happens if this was your husband talking on phone with his lady friend like you doing. Think about it. What would you do. Your Husband is your first and only Friend in your life Right now.Girl don't get it twisted
2006-08-02 08:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by mauricejr77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That he is in love with you or not isn't important.You should put all this energy you seem to have towards your marriage.. Advise him to seek other "guy" friends or family to discuss his troubles, and let him know calmly but firmly that YOU are concentrating more on your marriage now.. That is.. if you still want to "be" married..Talk to him more about your husband, how great he is, his job, where you went on vacation. He'll get the hint.. Take care and good luck..
2006-08-02 08:03:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, as for the knowing if he truly loves you or not, only he knows that.. and as for you ? you know his back ground, and him pretty wll it sounds like.. what do you think ? what does it tell you about a man who will talk and tell secrets to a married woman ? a man that will come between a husband and wife ? and what about a wife who hides behind friendship ? what does that say about you ? sorry, but those are the hard questions that YOU need to be answering.... and looking deep within urself right now is the only way to see what is right or wrong..... good luck and God bless
2006-08-02 08:02:49 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happily married women are not in love with other men!
If you ask me, you need to let you male friend go, otherwise
your "Happy Marriage" will very soon be over.
By the way,there is such a thing as emotional adultery!
May God help you to do the right thing!
2006-08-02 08:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by harrisl66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't matter. If you're happily married then don't risk it all on a chance. Like you said, this guy may not be ready or be able to have a serious realtionship yet. Stay with your husband and don't cheat on him.
2006-08-02 08:15:10 · answer #11 · answered by Cira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋