I am engaged to a wonderful, loving man. I absolutely adore him. He has custody of his son, PTA president and takes care of his ailing dad...a saint no, but perfect for me. My issue is his ex-wife, she verbally abusive, degrades me face to face, on the phone, around her son, it simply does not matter. I was in an abusive relationship before and this feels so very similar. However, I do love my fiance more than I never knew I could. Yet I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I know the drill ignore her...but I told myself that I was not going to be abused again...and here I am...HELP!!!
2006-08-02 07:36:06 · 10 answers · asked by Tonia B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
By the way...they have been divorced for over 10 years. We have been together for almost 2.
2006-08-02 07:37:04 · update #1
I am not being sensitive at all. I am trying to hold together my future marriage with a man that loves and respects me and vice versa. I am trying to get feedback from folks who are mature and empathetic people who may have thought of something I have not.
2006-08-02 08:00:36 · update #2
She does not step into the house, but she does have a son here...she comes and picks him up, calls him...hangs up on me when I answer, curses me out when she does talk...
2006-08-02 17:08:54 · update #3
Your fiance needs to get involved and put a stop to it. She's his ex therefore it is his problem. It isn't fair to you. Talk to him about it. Tell him he has to do something to stop it or you will have to. If he doesn't then get a restraining order so that she can't be around you or call you. I hope this helps. She's trying to run you off. Don't let her.
2006-08-02 07:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by chitchenitza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It strikes me as odd that she would have so much hostility for you being involved with someone she had divorced so long ago. Maybe she was hoping to get back together with him? Could he have possibly made her think that?
But the only action I would take is to get a restraining order which prohibits her calling you on the phone.
Is she abusive to the child? Maybe she needs to be visited on by Social Services?
Last but not least, you cannot control what people will say to you, maybe you can just consider the source or wear ear plugs when you are face to face with her. Don't let her see that it upsets you and then maybe she will tire of it.
Hope this helps.
2006-08-02 15:20:31 · answer #2 · answered by Grianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being abused by your fiance so you are not in an abusive relationship. Stop being so sensitive and fight back. Your fiance should back you up on this and have a talk with his ex. You could always file charges against her.
2006-08-02 14:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight up to shut up talking to you like that you are a grown woman and don't have to listen to it!!! The poor child doesn't deserve to have to listen to the garbage either! NOT fair for him to worry about his mom coming around you everytime he wants to visit! If that doesn't work,then I would ignore her and not anything to do with her at all. What does your husband~to~be say about it?Was she like that when they were together? Good Luck! and remember Stand Your Ground!!! DON'T have to take that from anybody!!!
2006-08-02 14:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you see her face to face? You shouldn't have to meet her face to face. Arrange so that you will never ever have to see her again for the rest of your life. Have caller ID so you don't have to answer her calls. She should not step into your house.
2006-08-02 17:13:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stand up and be a man and tell her that enough is enough and to stop being so jealous, if he wanted to be with her, he would have stayed there. And she needs to stop acting like a teenager, and to grow up and move on.
2006-08-02 14:42:48 · answer #6 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if I were you I would ask him for the advice.
I'm sure he knows how she is & how to cope w/ her.
She is probably doing this because she knows she
lost a great guy (from what you tell us). So now she's
mad @ herself & taking it out on you.
If I were you I would ask her " Why are you SO mean
to me & why can't you be nice ? " maybe if you ask
her off guard she'll feel stupid for acting so childish.
Good luck
2006-08-02 14:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
knock the living **** out of her, a good whooping will teach her to shut her mouth . Tell her that her parents wasted a good **** on making her ;)
2006-08-02 14:51:06 · answer #8 · answered by femmefatal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing to do is have a good old-fasioned cat fight. 12 rounds, winner take all.
2006-08-02 14:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by marky p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't continue in this relationship without seeing her then............ I would decide if this relationship is worth the effort.
2006-08-02 14:44:06 · answer #10 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋