My friend's husband is going to walk away from 23 years of marriage. It's almost as if he's lost his mind. He acts like a teenager and refuses to be responsible about anything. He is convinced that he's going to take off and be a country music star (he's not that good) and is hanging out with a buch of Hooter's bimbos (he's a good tipper) and refuses to meet with a marriage counselor. My friend is an emotional wreck and can't eat or sleep. She cries all the time and I feel so bad for her. Her husband used to be the most wonderful, sensitive, caring man, but now he's acting like a teenager. I keep telling her to hang in there and "weather the storm", but he is hurting her so much. Any tips from women who have been in a similar situation or from men who have made it through the other side of a mid-life crisis?
2006-08-02 06:53:09 · 6 answers · asked by nunya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he's met a younger woman, and 23 years of marriage is an eternity to men. especially if he's out and about and the wife doesn't make the effort to take the ride with him. Prayer and waiting for answers is a start. Tell your friend to try and support his music, and be fun like they did when they were first married. The fire needs to be rekindled, and when the husband sees the wife is interested in his goals and dreams and she makes him feel like the most important person and how proud she is of him, he'll include her into his life again. He probably loves her but she's lost the fire, and is boring to him. Be strong my friend and so interest and initiative to enjoy the life. Good luck
2006-08-02 07:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by tracienmark 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortuantely there is no "magic" answer here. He is living his youth probably because he never got a chance to or he's in denial about his age. Most likely he met some "youg thing" and she's filled his head with all sorts of schit. Regardless of the reson he's "ridding a bow wave" and until the wave hits the beach he's not gonna listen. Whatever the reason it will have to run the course. Hopefully your friend will have to try and weather the storm and hope for the best. She might try and file for divorce. Once a man sees just how much his freedom will cost it might give him a "moment of pause". Child support, lost pension, lost property and alimony can "snap" a guy back to his senses.
2006-08-02 07:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like something everyone wants to do but usually doesn't because they don't have an income like that.
He just found out he only has one life to live and he's just wasting it doing what makes him miserable. For her not to see this comming shows how self-centered she is not to see how unhappy he had been all these years. Maybe she should loose 20 or 30 lbs and get a job and some confidence instead of being a old fat nag who sponges off of her husband.
2006-08-02 07:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really sucks for your friend. Unfortunately, there's no telling the outcome. All she can do is hold on ... and maybe prepare a getting out plan. I really hate to say that b/c almost all marriages are worth saving, with the exception of those involving drugs or some form of abuse. She might need to seek therapy.
2006-08-02 07:10:58 · answer #4 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Do I know what she's going through. Mine walked out and left me a note. She needs to realize he isn't coming back. She needs to speak to a lawyer regarding her rights. I know she's looking for hope, but she needs to hear the truth. He isn't coming back. He's made that clear in his actions. As a good friend, you need to let her know this. I had a friend who just kept saying to me over and over and over again "He's not coming back, he's not coming back". I know it sounds ridiculous, but the more she kept repeating it, the more I realized it. She needs to feel the pain she is going through. She needs to cry her eyes out and continue crying until she's cried out. But as a good friend, you need to keep her busy,busy,busy. Be there for her. She's going to need you.
2006-08-02 07:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is bored with life & findings something refreshing that is why he doing it without realising he is hurting his beloved wife badly.not too worry abt him,just going through change of hormone,another stage of life.
advices: pray to God, make new friends, new activity, back to nature. Cheers.be in control of the financial
2006-08-02 07:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by Goosters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either weather it and take what he throws her way or she needs to move on because he may never come to his senses.
2006-08-02 07:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by pjthedj247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go
2006-08-02 07:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Sallie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋