religion.He was ready to marry me initially but now refuses as he`s scared that his mom might kill herself with this news.FYI, we are engaged for 2 years. What do Ido?Is he doing fair with me?
2006-08-02 06:10:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I seriously doubt his mother is going to kill herself if you get married. She is using that as a scare tactic. It is your life you two need to do what makes YOU happy not his mother. she had her time to be in love and be married, now it's your time. I think it is very selfish of her to treaten your marriage in any way. You have to think to yourself: am i willing to loose this man over his mother? or fight for my man and our love? If your man's mother is seriously talking suicide then your man should think about getting her some help. That's not a sane way of doing things. She may need to see a therapist to talk out some of her issues.
2006-08-02 06:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by bella 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're the same person he met over 5 years ago and he knows all about you from what you indicate. Usually ppl know what their families response will be before the subject is raised especially on matters of religion/ marriage. I think you are right that he's not being fair to you. He has got himself between a rock and a hard place, and the decision is his. Something similar happened to me many years ago and out of the blue he refused to take my phone call, I left it at that because I knew what his parents response would be and that he had a duty to his sisters to get them married etc. If it's any help I did eventually move on though felt really hurt and betrayed and after a while hardly thought about him anymore.
2006-08-02 13:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't make alot of sense. Obviously he's not as religious as his mother wishes if he's living in with you - she's probably not pleased at all with his decision. Close ties with mother are terribly hard to break. If you marry a guy like this - you'll have challenges with your mother law that you never believed. She will and do the most terrible things to try to keep her blessed sacred mother bond with her son as tight as ever and make you feel like the outsider whenever she is around. Maybe it's YOU who should be reconsidering this. He needs to cut the apron strings and marry you or else go home and stay married as it were to mother. If she kills herself with the news, that's her problem. She has to let her son go and have a life!
2006-08-02 13:17:17 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't being fair, but I also think this would not be a person you would want to marry. Seems like his mom is guiding his life and that looks to be a problem later on in your marriage. Decisions that are made in a marriage should be between you and your mate, not the mom. He is letting her make decisions and your not even marred yet. Pray about this first and then make your dedision.
Take care
2006-08-02 13:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by Pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just realize that you have a life that you need to get on with and if he isn't going to marry you because of his mom then he needs to really look at how much he loves you and you need to look and see how much you love him. If you are willing to wait for him then wait but if mama is coming first now whose to say she won't come first after you say I do. Don't waste your life waiting for some man that can't stand up to his mom. Find someone that wants to be with you and doesn't care what other people think and if he wants to be that man then he needs to be that man. You need to tell him how you feel and see what he thinks. Your already living together you might as well as make it right. How different is your religion?
2006-08-02 13:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by jazzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really sounds like an excuse for him not to have to marry you..... I could be wrong of course...... do you know his mom ?? if so, what do YOU think she will do if the 2 of you get married ? do you honestly feel or get the impression she will *kill* herself if the marriage takes place ? I would sit this man /boy down and tell him just what you feel and see in the situation.... give him the option to back out or set the date.... I do not believe in pushing, but this is a case of mistrust, on your part, or abuse of trust , on his part...... good luck and God bless
2006-08-02 13:18:03 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are playing hide the salami then why should he marry you? You are not living the lives of your parents. I doubt his mother is going to kill herself. Most mothers make other people want to kill themselves. Settle the religious question and get married or get on with your life.
2006-08-02 13:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but you need to forget this relationship. If you continue with this guy you will have to accept the fact that his mother will be making ALL the decisions in your relationship. Is that what you want? Think about it.
2006-08-02 13:17:29 · answer #8 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, and get a new man. You are allowed to keep the ring as he has told you he will not marry you because of his mother's threats. Believe me, it doesn't get better with marriage.
DUMP HIM!!!! I know it hurts....but he wants it this way, he's only using his mother as a scapegoat. What a *****!
2006-08-02 13:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would turn around and run the other way... If his mother rules his life now, it's going to only get worse in the future. You're wasting your time with momma's boy.
2006-08-02 13:14:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋