after a divorice why does it take one of the 2 people so long to get over it just a question ive been wondering about?
2006-08-02 05:50:20 · 9 answers · asked by jamescoffman1978 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because you can't rip out someone's heart without it metaphorically bleeding everywhere. After they rip out your heart, they typically don't do any sort of repair work for you. So you have to gather some strength and go pick up your bloody heart and clean it off, make sure the little bits of rock and dirt are off and then place it back into your soul, and stitch yourself up. It takes time to heal that wound and let your strength build up. After that, you're not really sure you'd like someone to rip it out again.
2006-08-02 06:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One always wants out -- rarely do they surprise each other at the same time with We should get a divorce. It's tuff to get over rejection, even if you are the one who wanted out. You wanted out for a reason -- the other was cheating, the other was ignoring you, the other was into verbal abuse, the other had no time for you.... so the one who whats out was really rejected first, and has had a little bit longer a time to get used to the idea that it is indeed over. Then it comes as a shock to the primary offender, who has gone along and doesn't realise that he (or she) needed to nurture and woo the other a bit more often...... It's called miscommunication
2006-08-02 12:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my own personnal experience.
Lived together 3 years. Married 17. He said he would never stop partying like all his friends did when they got married the same year we did. He use to laugh and say when I turned 40 he was going to trade me in on 2 twenty year olds. Of the 17 years we were married I raised my two girls (which were from my first marriage) he finacially supported them. When both girls turned 18 and left home I stayed for another 2 years with him. One night I decided to follow him. True to his word he had his 20 year old, several of them from what was brought out in court. I looked at it like this, he wanted to party! fine with me. I'm a down home girl brought up to believe in the sanctity of marriage and the respect that goes with it. We divorced, it took me 3 years to get it because in our state the wife receives half of everything in the marriage if they were married 10+ years. He did not want to part with any of "HIS" money so he contested the divorce. The judge said after 3 years, enough was enough and equally split everything. For the next year he tried convincing everyone in our town that I had a boyfriend and that was why I left him, he claimed I was running around in the bars, having men in the house while he was at work or out in the evenings, he even went as far as telling my girls that I only married him in the beginning so I would have someone to "FOOT THEIR BILLS". When no one took him seriously or felt sorry for him he changed his tactics. He started calling me and pleading with me to come back home. He promised to change, no more going out, no more drinking, we'd start over from scratch and he would be the best husband a woman could ask for. All his words fell on deaf ears. It's been 8 years since I walked out of that life. He stopped calling me a year ago, now he text messages my cell at least once a month asking me to come home.
I have never kidded myself thinking it was "ME" he wanted back as much as what I gave him that he wanted. I cooked and cleaned for him. I was the one he told his problems to and it was my opinions that helped him deal with them. I was someone that "he" thought would always be there for him when he couldn't get anyone else. I was the one that made him a litlle more respectable in the community.
2006-08-02 14:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One person takes longer to get over a divorce because that person did not want the divorce.
2006-08-02 12:59:46 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither person EVER gets over a divorce, they just learn to cope with the disppoinment & hurt. That happens differently for every person.
2006-08-02 13:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very seldom are both people in mutual agreement to get a divorce. The one that doesn't want it still has feelings for the one who does.
2006-08-02 12:54:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because its usually just one party that wants the divorce!
2006-08-02 13:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by tanesha m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because when your hopes, dreams and the basis for your life have just been pulled out from under you, it's hard to be happy about it.
2006-08-02 12:55:54 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because there are no winners in a divorce.
2006-08-02 13:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋