my bf and i are getting into fights a lot and what started with him shoving me and me shoving back now has progressed to slaping one another hard and punching and kicking and me biting. he is a lot like my ex. bf that i still love wich is kinda why i started dating him but now are fights are otta control. even as friends we vented on each other this way. how do we break up or fix this to save our friendship or some sort of relationship. my ex. bf never hit me.i was pregnant by my ex. bf but lost the baby at 5 months.
2006-08-02 05:44:58 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
should we take breaks and stay away from one another. before we started seeing each other he had a bad breakup
2006-08-02 05:45:17 · update #1
he just reminds me so much of my ex. bf that i still love and it makes me angry
2006-08-02 05:45:33 · update #2
he throws first punch
2006-08-02 08:47:26 · update #3
Maybe you shouldnt be with this guy if you are still in love with your ex?
Either way a violent relationship is never a good way to do things in life, it always turns into a much worse situation.......your best bet.....get out now while you still can, there is NEVER EVER a good reason to hurt another person that you supposedly love.
2006-08-02 05:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are goading him to reproduce the abusive behavior. He should dump you immediately.
The fact that you know something is wrong, is at least something. However, you will never have a life that is more than a miserable mess until you thoroughly examine what you are doing and put a stop to it. Basically, what you are doing is mentally abusing your boyfriend, who then responds in kind. Then, you escalate it to physical violence...then push it to see how far it will go.
If you are really serious about fixing the problem, approach a licensed clinical psychologist that does family systems therapy. Install a hidden camera in your home. Go over the tapes of the "fights" you have with your boyfriend. I can almost guarentee that what you observe will both shock and deeply shame you. It will, however, help you fix the problem. Because, you can dump your boyfriend. But, the next one will either be exactly the same or he will be one of these guys with an iron will that doesn't respond in kind. The latter type of guy you will wear down until his life is a miasma of misery. He will finally figure it out and leave you. But, it won't matter to you because, by that time you will have lost all respect for him (respect for you is reserved only for men who hit you).
You have major problems babe. You will either work on them or more likely you won't.
2006-08-02 06:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think U need a break because for one thing U still love ur ex and he can probably feel that U r not giving him all of u, and since he can't figure it out, it makes you two fight. Fighting however is still unexceptable whatever the reason. U let him know that U have issues within urself and need to reevaluate this whole thing. If there is no future with the ex then let it go. Actually I think U need to take some time by urself and figure out what U really want in any relationship. Fighting is not exceptable. Good Luck!
2006-08-02 06:08:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's throwing the first hit/punch? If it's you then you need need to stop it and get some help for you anger problems.That is no way to resolve an argument. If it's him you need to get away from that relationship before you get seriously hurt or killed. He may not mean to do it but it can happen, trust me, my ex (Leo) beat me all the time when he got drunk. But I loved him so much dispite his abuse.The last time he hurt me he grabbed me by my hair and kept slamming my head into the oak door frame as hard as he could til I passed out. I ended up with a multiple fractured skull. All because he had a bad day at work.The Dr. told me that if I didn't pass out when I did and he had gotten a few more slams in, I would have died from my injuries. (And (Leo) didn't remember doing it.) You need to get him some help or get out of that situation soon. I moved on to find someone that loves me more than I could have ever thought possible, and he would ""never"" hurt me. Is the love you feel towards this man worth more than your life? Its obvious he doesn't love you because if he did he would never hurt you. It seems to me that the two of you bring out the worst in eachother. Get out before it's to late. PLEASE
2006-08-02 06:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by CLM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one has any right to lay a hand on another person out of anger. You both seem to have the same kind of personality. If you don't leave the relationship soon, the violance will esculate. And soon it may spiral out of control to where the coroner may be called out because someone was killed..maybe you. And what if you become pregnant by this man, is he going to be physically abusive to the baby also?? You have to look toward the future..is this the kind of relationship i would bring a child into? I wouldn't...
2006-08-02 05:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by bowdnb4me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to be with the one that reminds you of your ex? If you don't mind me saying go back to the ex! If he was abusive too then at least your getting it from the one you really love! But really abuse is not great and you should try to stay away from abusive men.
2006-08-02 05:50:22 · answer #6 · answered by pennij 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to separate. I would suggest living apart and never being alone with each other if you still want to see each other. Meet in public places and such. Or simply get out of it completely and never look back. You both seem like you need counseling
2006-08-02 05:49:19 · answer #7 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are attracting drama into your life (i.e. reminds you of your x bf). You need to look at your current and past relationships and decide to change your way of interacting with your mates so that you do not have this drama in your life.
2006-08-02 05:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by onejazzyjul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to break away for a WHILE and regroup. You're hooking up with losers. No good man EVER EVER hits his woman. Drop him like a bad sack of poo. I know you love him, but can you see yourself with little ones having to run away because of abuse? If he hit's you...he'll hit your kids and as a Mama, you'd never ever be able to forgive yourself of that.
2006-08-02 05:52:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can assure you that it will only continue to get worse if you stay with him. You don't deserve to be hit, so you don't have to take it. Also, don't hit him either. Try sitting down with him, explain to him that you don't like the hitting, and tell him that if it doesn't stop that the relationship will.
2006-08-02 05:50:46 · answer #10 · answered by Phil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋