Well, either your wife digs being dominated,or your commiting spousal rape. I would try to figure it out asap.
2006-08-02 05:26:08
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answer #1
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answered by onelonevoice 5
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Yes it is VERY wrong to hold her and force her to let you touch her. OMG, thats sexual assualt married or not!! And From another women, when you beg do you start to say mean things to her or tell her you are going to look elsewhere? B/C that would make me take a stronger stance not have sex. For women sex is very mental. YOu need to read the book "Sex begins at breakfast" I think thats the name of it. We don't forget the thing you said to us. And we want you to love us more than sex. And if you want to have sex with the woman treat her like a person that is special enough to give you that gift of herself instead of like you just deserve it even though you act like a jackass and treat her like crap. There seems to be other issues in your relationship obviously and until those are addressed the sex won't be fixed either. And you say you will turn somewhere else..Just leave the relationship then! Don't hurt this woman anymore. I have a feeling the is a lot of verbal and emotional abuse (from you to her) and she doesn't deserve more heart ache with you cheating on her. Be a man. Try loving her the way a man should love his wife (with words and actions) and give it some time (it won't work over night b/c it'll take time to trust your actions and words of love) and things will probably turn around. And if not get counsiling! But to turn to someone else... Just make sure you end the marriage first!
2006-08-02 05:39:09
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answer #2
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answered by apedanhar 2
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You sound like my husband. We had the same problem however, my reason for not giving it up was because we were not married. When we did get married we had that problem again. We are now going at it everytime we think about it. You should first check yourself, so to speak. What I mean is ask your self, am I loving my wife, is she happy in our marriage. You should then go to her, hold her and ask her what's going on. You need to be very loving, sincere and concerned when you approach her. You may not get an answer right then, if you don't be patient and keep trying. Does she work or is she a stay at home mom. I doesn't sound like you are being emotionally abusive in trying to get what you want. I have been told that in situations like this the person who does not want to do it should do it to make the other one happy. If the tables were turned you sould need to give it up to make your wife happy. I think there may be some deep feelings that your wife has that she has not discussed with you. I'm not saying that the issues are with you. In a marriage your spouse is suppose to be your best friend and you should e able to tell them anything.
2006-08-02 06:29:06
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answer #3
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answered by Keke 2
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U turned one problem into two. Use your emotional force to demand that she go to counselling with you, to work out your issues. You may find that her drive is naturally low and she has no desire to increase it or work around it, or a general disrespect for you and your needs in that case divorce may be the the right solution, and counselling will help to clarify that for you and her.
But it's more likely that you may also find that there are one or two issues that are blocking a heathly sex life that you can overcome with not too much work.
It's also possible that she likes the way things are now and it is really consentual, in which case it may be OK to keep things the way they are. People are very strange and everyone is different.
You must take the step of finding out though, the worst thing you can do when you have a problem is turn it into another one.
2006-08-02 05:43:48
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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You guys need some serious communicaton -- short of going to a sex therapist, read the book "For Each Other" by Lonnie Barbach -- THE sex therapist in the nation today. Back of the book is filled with other references used by sex therapists. Buy it cheap on Amazon.com. Could be at your house by Friday.... Go for it..... forced sex is really a nono, and it appears you two aren't even on the same page. (PS. she may NOT be climaxing and she may NOT be having a good time......--- she just wants it over. You may just not be very good in bed. Women can fake anything, including vaginal contractions, and you guys never, positively and absolutely never, can know. This book will make you a better lover, and then she won't be disappointed and have to endure your poor style..... read it my friend, worth every dime....)
2006-08-02 05:30:29
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answer #5
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answered by April 6
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if u force ur self or have to fight her in any way that is a form or r*** think about it although it may not look like that u, imagine that after u have being trying to force ur self on her so much that u she has no other choice but to give in for fear that u might take it anyway it could also be that she is uncomfortable about her body or had a bad experience or have some physiological draw backs about it u have to really connect an find out what is the problem y is she behaving this way etc an also submit to her ur feelings about it the relationship it would evertually work
2006-08-02 05:33:50
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answer #6
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answered by vicsha 2
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You are a big tool.
It is never right to force anything on anyone...ever.
Grow up, divorce your wife like an adult, naming the lack of physical intimacy as your reason.
However, you know that it is probably your fault, the lack of sex. You see, women want to be wanted sure, but they want to be seen as more than just a vagina. Women want to be appreciated for their thoughts, contributions and just like you, their bodies. If your wife isn't interested in sex, and it is not a medical condition or a constant lack of interest (meaning the lack of sex is new, instead of ongoing) then it is absolutely you that is turning her off.
Get a divorce, develope your life/body/mind into something that attracts people to you, that way you won't have to be a total waste of human life like you currently are.
Ask yourself, is it OK if I (a 6'4 285 pound ex-special forces) a man forced you to have sex with me even if you climaxed? I didn't think so, when faced with a problem of, "is this right or wrong" ask yourself would you like it and your answer should present itself.
2006-08-02 05:31:37
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answer #7
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answered by magerious 4
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Demanding sex is well within your rights, but probably not the way to her heart, and probably not in the best interest of your marriage.
You need to sit down and talk to your wife outside of the bedroom about why sex is important to your marriage and about how hurtful it is to your marriage that she makes you plead for it. Try to get her to talk about her own hesitancy towards sex. Talk about how often you really would like to have sex. It might be a good idea to go to a marriage counselor together and talk some more.
Make sure that your wife understands that this is a very important part of your marriage and that you want to do whatever it takes to make it enjoyable for both of you, but that you aren't willing to just let things continue as they are now. Ask her what she is willing to do to help make this better.
2006-08-02 05:31:00
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answer #8
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answered by happygirl 6
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To be quite honest with you, I'm sick of the whole thing. I hate to beg like a dog at the dinner table. It should not be happening. I don't want to sound like an uncaring jerk, because I am not. But both people have made a promise and once a month is emotionally upsetting. We used to have sex a lot, but since we got married, it's practially non-existant. I am 100% with you. You're sick of it, I'm sick of it. Funny enough, I was going to write a similar question but you've already done so. I'm unhappy sexually, and SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE. I frown on the situation. Good luck to you on that though.
2006-08-02 05:28:10
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answer #9
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answered by jokerscard692000 4
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Before you go elsewhere, remember that she is your wife and you might want to put into consideration why she is acting like that. Have you cheated in the past or are you only nice to her when you want to make love? Look at her feelings and discuss the bigger issue at hand. If she doesn't want to make love with you, thats the most important thing to figure out first. You should never cheat on your wife because of a sex issue-talk to her.
2006-08-02 05:29:25
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answer #10
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answered by iluvyewmore24 2
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Hey buddy, I am in the same boat. I didn't want to be an asshole and make her do something she didn't want to do. I lit candles one night and had some massage oils out. When she came to bed, I undressed her and rubbed her down. Nothing gets a woman hotter than intimacy. She has a low sex drive and requires a little work to get into the mood. It's not because she doesn't love me. We are best friends. Instead of just saying, "Hey babe, wanna screw tonight?" Try doing something special.
2006-08-02 05:28:24
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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