My bf was divorced with 2 sons by the age of 21. His ex wife got custody, he got visitation. 4 yrs ago he met me & was upfront about his past. I don't want kids of my own & told my bf this, but we did things w/ his kids. A yr after we met, his ex wanted him back. She called his mom & told her that the kids really need him. My bf's mom told him to get back with his ex or move out. His mom & ex were directly mean & hurtful to me. My bf moved in with me. His ex wouldn't let him see his sons for a while cuz she was pissed. I made it clear that I'd pay rent and bills, but his child support was his responsibility. Then my bf got laid off & then he got real sick w/ no medical insurance. I helped with the medical bills but he got behind on his child support & lost his drivers liscence. He's trying to get it back but the only way he can see his kids is if I drive. No one else will take him & if I try to avoid the situation then his family says I hate his kids. I just don't want to see his ex.
2006-08-02 05:17:53 · 9 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all has your boyfriend made the court aware of his situation with losing his job and medical situation.
Second his mother should be ashamed of herself using her grandchildren in the manner she has and allowing her ex-daughter-in-law to do the same.
Young families all over the world are falling victim to this same scenario. Stop the cycle.
As much as it may hurt your boyfriend not to see his children it would be better for him to back off so the children no longer be treated as valuable bargaining units for his ex. Once the ex loses this power she become pretty powerless.
Get some legal help from the "father's aid" groups out their.
2006-08-02 05:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela M 2 · 17⤊ 3⤋
You're a good person. I admire that. But sometimes being nice is not a good thing. People start to take advantage of you and expect certain things from you. You need to talk to your bf about how you feel. If he is supportive of you things should work out. I also smell immaturity in the mix where his ex and mom are concerned. Your bf can be there for his kids without having to deal with his ex. She's being selfish and stupid. As for you having to drive him to see his kids, do it. You don't have to see her. If need be, drop him off and when he is ready to go have him call you and you can pick him up. Don't let his ex and mom get between you.
2006-08-02 12:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get the Great Girlfriend Award. I think you are nuts to be letting Mr. Freeload-give-me-sympathy live with you while you take care of all his bills, etc. My guess is that you will soon be paying the child support too. But hey, maybe I am just cynical.
2006-08-02 12:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to face the fact that the ex is always going to be a part of your boyfriend's life one way or another....You either accept this....or find another boyfriend that does not have any kids. It sounds heatless but what else can you do?
2006-08-02 12:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by ypg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prayer God will direct you.You will always have to face his ex there is no way around this because they have kids together. You have to make the decision if you want to be with him and his kids or someone else.
2006-08-02 12:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by caring_mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you didn't want kids, and it sounds like you ended up with the biggest one you could find. Some thing's not right with this guy...he needs to get his stuff together.
2006-08-02 12:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by curious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it. Why are you sticking around? When women say they don't want a man with drama, this is what I picture as drama. You're going to be collateral damage. Protect yourself. Get out. All those are his responsibilities and problems. Not yours.
2006-08-02 12:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm i went throw the same think all you can do is take him drop him off then come back latre the kids mom will always try to get back with him thow
2006-08-02 12:25:51 · answer #8 · answered by brittanyandjeremy2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about just getting a warm cuddly dog so you have fewer problems???????
2006-08-02 12:23:12 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋