She watched her father die and I always tell her that I am here should she need anything, just call me whenever she needs. But When we speak I just don't know what to say.
2006-08-02 05:09:49 · 13 answers · asked by Gia M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've buried four people in the past 10 years... every grieving process was different.
Follow her lead... If she seems to be avoiding talking about it, don't bring it up. If she starts talking about her Dad, listen. And remember many of her questions may be rhetorical... know the difference.
People have to grieve in their own way, and at their own pace. Just your presence may have more of a calming effect that you might realize.
2006-08-02 05:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do to comfort a grieving friend is exactly what you are doing. Let her know if she needs anything you are there. Try not to dwell on the issues to much because you don't want to aggravate the situation. Give her time to open up to you when and if she is ready.
One other thing you might want to do to comfort her, is take her out, do something fun. This could help perhaps get her mind off of things, even if only for a couple hours.
Just being their for your friend, offering support, being a good listener, will show her you care and this comfort her more then you think.
Don't Live Life In The Dark,
Master Psychic Rachel
2006-08-02 13:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything just be there. Sit with her and let her cry or be angry or whatever she needs to do in her grief. She needs to grieve and heal. Grieving alone is just pain.
There are no good answers or words that make the pain go away. Sometimes people say callous things - not meaning to - but they hurt the wounded one. "At least he's in a better place; at least he's not suffering anymore..." That doesn't really help since SHE is still here and still suffering. When you see her, just hug her. If you say anything just let her know that you are hurting too because of her loss.
When my friend lost her newborn baby at 3 weeks of age, the first time I saw her afterwards I just hugged her. What can you say?
Sounds like you love your friend. I'm glad she has you to lean on.
2006-08-02 12:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anne Teak 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her take the lead--she may need to talk about her father, or she may need to talk about anything BUT her father. You may need to make the effort to take her to lunch or for something relaxing, because she may not feel comfortable asking. You're a good friend. Just being there is the best thing you can do.
2006-08-02 12:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Karen J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you don't need to say anything. You just simply need to be there to listen. As long as you are here for her, it is comforting. Be her shoulder to cry on. My fiance saw his father die 4 years ago when they were in a terrible car accident, and there are times when I have no clue what to say because I haven't been in that situation before. Just be there, listen to her.
2006-08-02 12:14:32 · answer #5 · answered by lacia2159 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her & listen. She needs to talk & have some one just listen. Call often & go for coffee with her. Let her know you care just by being there. I've been there. Good Luck. P.S. When my girlfriend died I got a plant & it's a reminder every day of her & how special she was. I pass by it & say a little prayer.
2006-08-02 12:18:23 · answer #6 · answered by dilhater 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u really need to let her grieve. and youre doin the right thing lettin her know youre there for her. shes goin through a very tough time right now. u cant do anythin to make her feel better, she needs to figure things out on her own. just be there for her, to comfort her, and to be that shoulder to cry on.
2006-08-02 12:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by sarah_gotdance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have friend just like that jst try to stay with her for a long time and say mom more than you say dad always try to change the subject if you get close to talking about your dad
2006-08-02 12:15:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn that's so sad but try talking about something else ya know something not so sad or just reminisce on the good times before that happened. but most of all try giving her some space
2006-08-02 12:15:21 · answer #9 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her hugs and let her know it is safe for her to cry on your shoulder. Above all, let her talk and say whatever she feels without negative comments such as, "You shouldn't feel that way."
2006-08-02 12:14:52 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋