what are the ups and downs of getting married at a young age???

Question

were both in school and are going to finish 4 yr universities and go on to graduate school, we both don't want childreen until we have careers and are stable. we love the same things and ya i just wanna know the ups and down

Answer 1

I think immaturity is a down. Due to age and lack of relationship experience the dynamic of your family's role will change. You may find it hard to set hard and fast boundaries with your families. They may still see you as children and treat you as such. This will definately cause problems that can be avoided if not taken hold of early on in your marriage/courtship.

A definate UP is growing with someone. Getting to know someone like the back of your hand. Not being preset in your ways..fleixible, which will come in handy in the beginning years of your marriage.

Honestly? Speaking as having been a young bride..there are more ups than downs in my book. I love looking back on most of my life and having memories of me and my husband and the life we have made together. (20+ years)

Best wishes!

Answer 2

I am not sure about ups but I can tell you the downs... My hubby and I have been together since we were 13 and got married at 18. I think I was happy between 13 - 20. The first 2 years were great but then things changed and I guess we changed and I believe are now together only because of the kids. One of the downs is that we both didnt get to experience anything else. He experienced it after we were married and is still doing doing things like chatting with girls and god know what else. My advice is to move in together and wait on marriage. I wish I did.

Answer 3

I met my wife at 17 and knew I was going to marry her, We finally married at 26. I don't know what would have happened if we married younger, but I do know you change ALLOT from 17 - 23 so it may not have worked. Your not that young and both seem driven to accomplish many things. As long as your on the same page about life you'll be fine.I will warn you though, kids will radically alter your existence on this planet so you better thing real long and real hard about when your going to add that element.

I can't help myself - more wisdom:

Marry your best friend, someone who likes you and likes to hang out with you. If you don't, life will be good until you have kids and you get old, fat and your body looks like a woman who had kids.

About this time (around 40) a man that is not your best friend will find some young, hot, tight, dumb, girl to play with.

Answer 4

More downs than ups, that's for sure. You are not mature enough to get married when you're under 25 or so. You have no life experience and probably no job experience to speak of. If you have kids early, that makes even harder. Yea, I know you're in love and it's different with you. That's what we all say when we're young. AND guess what, we find out later on that Mom and Dad and all those old folks were right. Should have stayed single for a while.

Answer 5

The other answers are pretty accurate all in all. I am 43 and my son turns 22 tomorrow. He's grown and I still get to enjoy many of the same things he does. I know 43 may sound old to you, but it does not feel that way when you are here.

The down side is that my son's mother and I spit ten years ago. Yes, what was impotent to us when we were young, was not important to us as we matured. Also we had to work harder to make ended meet because we were young and were not earning much money then.

Of course there are exceptions. There are plenty of people that marry young and are together forever. We were not one of those couples. There you go... enjoy life.

Answer 6

I was married at 19 yrs. and I'm telling you now its no walk in the park. in fact it sucks. she was my high school sweetheart.we have been together for about 9 yrs now (married for 4) and its gotten to the point where there are no surprises anymore no spontaneity. honestly once you get married its all down hill from there. and I hate to say it but sometimes you get to the point where you cant stand being around them anymore. if he/she really loves you they will be there when both of you are ready

my opinion,
wait, see other people and be sure that being married to that particular person is what you really want. GIVE IT TIME you are young and have alot of it left. and letts face it, if he/she really loves you they will be there when you both are ready for such a big commitment.

Answer 7

Ubless you have time to read a novel- don't ask such an open ended question. There are many issues with marrying too young. Not knowing your age is certainly a hinderance - but either way..
Wait till your finished with schooling- have some semblence of a career first..

Answer 8

Marriage is a series of ups and downs regardless of the age at which u do it. Getting married at young age (like younger than 23) only compounds the issues b'cuz you aren't established and ready to raise a family. I just try to imagine trading in my stay up all night, smoking, drinking carefree lifestyle for an in by 7, cooking, cleaning, and catering to my husband / kids life. I know i'm not ready for that yet, so i'm not doing it yet...

Answer 9

Your peers will no longer be able to relate to you.
You will always fantazise about being single and would want to do what your peers are doing: dating, going to school, etc.
You would feel as if you are missing out on life
You will feel the temptation of sneakling out and hang out with your friends instead of being at home.
You will resent your partner for thinking or doing what is described above.
You resent everybody that told you not the get married young because now you know that they were right and you were wrong.


Ups? I see no ups or winning situations here.

Answer 10

Ups: Young parent, young grandparent, if you invest correctly a better income.

Downs: Miss out on hanging out with friends/mingling, being tied down, too many to continue.

I married young. I had children young. I don't regret it, but if I could I would go back and change it. Your able to enjoy life more and only worry about yourself not a husband or child. You have plenty of time for marriage.