I am taking care of a woman's child. The woman is a active drug user. She basically invited herself in my house I think she feels she is welcome because her daughter is here. I feel uncomfortable in my own house.
2006-08-02 04:45:21 · 12 answers · asked by reneevaldosta 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
what would you rather have; the privilege of taking care of and providing a safe haven for the child, or a warm fuzzy feeling when you're telling her to get her abusive butt out of your house?
You can't tell a user in a nice way to do anything, they are self-centered manipulators.
The fact that she is still doing the same thing that caused her to be in the situation she's in and someone else taking care of her child should speak volumes to you.
why would she not take her cake and eat it too as long as she has it being served to her on a silver platter?
She is in a chain of behavior that needs a broken link.
A chain is as strong as its weakest link, do the right thing and break one of those links for her, by deciding not to enable her anymore.
If she really wants to get better she will thank you for it
If not, then you nor the child have lost anything of value.
Keep messin' with this situation and someone else will decide who cares for that child, believe it.
Its always hard to do the right thing when we think its just to benefit us, if you think of it as benefiting the child, you will gain the heart of a lion.
Have you ever noticed that the right thing to do always turns out to be the hardest?
hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm.........................
2006-08-02 12:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the scenario:
1) Are you the child's foster caregiver? Call your caseworker.
2) Is she not paying you to take care of her daughter? Ask her for rent. Tell her if can't pay, she can't stay. If she agrees to pay, give her a deadline to pay. Tell her if she doesn't have the money by then she'll have to leave. .
3) If she's paying you, it's a harder problem. You can wait around until she rips you off or you can tell her to leave. You can't really do it nicely, because if you do, she'll think you don't mean it. Just tell her that the current situation is not workiing out for you. She'll mostly likely say she's working on getting another place, etc. Give her a deadline as above.
4)When in doubt, call your local CW and ask them for advice. The child's needs come first.
2006-08-02 05:03:15 · answer #2 · answered by Matthew S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Act like you are on a cleaning rampage and gather all of her stuff and set it by the door. Try to utilze every room in your house for something so maybe she will feel that there isn't room for her there. Be rude and unaccomodating to her and maybe she will get the hint. If she is using drugs though, she is most likely to not get it, so you may have to resort to just being brutally honest and tell her to get the f*** out. If she responds by taking her daughter with her, call the police or social services and report her as an unfit mother. Good Luck!!
2006-08-02 04:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by ozzysgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want her in your home then you
should tell her,then if she does'nt leave,call the
police.Also,call child protective services for the
innocent child.The mother should not have custody
of this child while being an active drug user.
This woman needs help,will she get help?
Call for the child,so the child is safe.
2006-08-02 05:00:26 · answer #4 · answered by lostgrandma1967 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no nice way, just be firm and say what's on ur mind, tell exactly how u feel about her drug usage, upbringing of her child and until she changes her wicked ways and takes resposibility for her actions, just to stay away.
2006-08-02 04:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by bobemac 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being a former addict, i wouldnt be comfortable with an addict comming and going as she pleased in my home either...be honest with her....set limits and boundarys....aparently youve taken responsibility for her child and that should be as far as it goes....set a certain day during the week where she can visit her child...or if it makes you feel better, arange for a meeting at a park or a restaurant....you need to be honest and stand firm by your decision, if you dont this addict will continue to walk all over you...
2006-08-02 04:53:28 · answer #6 · answered by stephaniech24 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've had this problem.. you can't be nice..they'll ignore you, act hurt, play the sycophant victim, you name it.. .. grab her filthy farkus by her nappyazz weed and KICK her out the front door
2006-08-02 04:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by TimeWastersInc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her, but politely and firmly so there is no confusion in your message. Something like "Please leave. I will call you when it is OK to visit your daughter".
Or set firm visit times that are convenient to you.
2006-08-02 04:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by paanbahar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop taking care of her child, then she'll have no reason to come over.
2006-08-02 04:48:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why be friendly about it, tell her to get her drug addict a.s.s. the .f.u.c.k. out of your house and don't feel any remorse for doing it
2006-08-02 04:54:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋