My life is NOTHING like I planned. Why is turning 40 so depressing? Is it the, too old to fix... "failure age?"
2006-08-02 04:29:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
It's almost over. I've been 40 for 29 hours. I spent a lot of it doing everyday things. Tonight I had 3 teens in my car (1 is mine) They put the windows down, opened the moon roof, stood up & yelled "Our Mom's 40 and still Sexy!!!"
It was embarrassing driving, worse when they did it while I stopped for drinks & gas!
I have a feeling they aren't going to let me get old anytime soon. Who knows what 41 will bring?? Thanks for some great answers!
2006-08-02 16:03:49 · update #1
I think you already found the fountain of youth...Teenagers!!!!!!!!
I know so many people who say they can't relate to their kids, don't understand them or their music! I love Nickleback, Gretchen Wilson, Trace Atkins and a lot more. You know you are a good parent when your teens and their friends pick you to be the "cool Mom" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
2006-08-02 16:15:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can't believe you sound so depressed at turning 40!! That is unreal! I will be 45 in less than 2 weeks, and I don't feel like that number at all!! Life begins at 40 for Pete's sakes! Soon, the kids will be leaving home, and you and hubby will be able to spend all your time together. If you have a hubby that is. The kids are old enough to look after themselves too, so, go out and have a ball! I play ice hockey, ball, I love fishing, hunting, driving in the derby, you name it! A simple number of 45 will not bring me down! Think of how beautiful life is and that you are healthy! You got a great family etc. Get out of the depressive thinking and think of the happy and good times! Life has alot more to offer you, so, get out there and have fun!! Good luck to you!!
2006-08-02 17:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 43 and I feel about the same mentally as I did 20 years ago. You definitely are not too old to change your life, if that's what you want. When I went to law school, there was a man in my class who was in his 50's. My life is nothing like I planned, either--I became a lawyer, but now I alternate between being a secretary for my parents and grading state proficiency tests. You need to get out and do things that you've wanted to do but put off because there wasn't time. You're not ready for the nursing home yet.
2006-08-02 04:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by cross-stitch kelly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I m 43 and I understand what you are saying im sorry about the cancer nothing in my live has ever gone has planned its very depressing I think when we hit that age we wish so many things we wish we did and didnt plans we made that didnt go through I dont think your ever to old to fix it have a little faith in the man upstairs and take one day at a time and the next day is a brand new day to do whatever YOU want they say life begins at 40 even though I dont know about that
2006-08-02 04:50:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are experiencing is a change of life. Evolutionary biologists have pointed to the fact that the species only needed people to live to 40 - our longer lives are a relatively new phenomena.
What's important is to recognize that the people you know who have families and "success" have been driven by biological forces mostly, and have not planned their lives consciously. You are experiencing those same forces when you call yourself "depressed".
Instead of dwelling on biological urges for romance or power, turn inward to the newly available insight you have into who you are and what you really want. Your inspiration may lead you the rest of your life.
2006-08-02 04:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Andy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I experienced many of the same feelings you have. When I turned 40 I suddenly realized that my life was half over and many of the dreams I had held for a "later date when things are better" never happened because life never got a lot better. I had to really evaluate my life and go through the pain of saying goodbye to certain dreams and try to make new goals. Having felt failure from not realizing many of my dreams made it difficult to have faith in myself to make new goals. I believe I am going through a mourning and have decided to treat it as such. The stages of grief are:
• Shock is the first stage of numbness, disbelief and unreality.
• Denial is thoughts or words such as, "I don't believe it -- It can't be!"
• Bargaining involves making promises such as, "I'll be so good if only I can awaken to find this hasn't happened" or "I'll do all the right things if only..."
• Guilt is a hard stage and difficult to deal with alone. This is a normal feeling characterized by statements such as, "If only I had ... If only I had not..." done or said or thought something. Guilt may ultimately be resolved by understanding that all of us are human beings who give the best and worst of ourselves to others. What they do with what we give is their responsibility.
• Anger is another very difficult phase, but it may seem necessary in order to face reality and get beyond the loss. We all must heal in our own way and anger is a normal stage along the way. However, you may feel guilty because you are angry at the person who died or because your life is continuing while his or hers is not. If you don't feel anger, don't manufacture it!
• Depression may come and go and be different each time in length and/or intensity. Give yourself time to heal.
• Resignation means you finally believe the reality of the death.
• Acceptance and Hope come when you finally understand that you will never be the same, but you can go on to have meaning and purpose in your life.
People try to joke about a mid-life crisis but they are real and they are serious. Good luck as you work through it all.
2006-08-02 13:26:45 · answer #6 · answered by norsktjej1964 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
40 the new 25 you have a lot to go for. My wife went back to school and got her degree and now teaches she happy about it,We started playing golf and having fun.believe we had no money for years,my dad live till he was 91 he thought he would die 6 month after he retire when he turn 60 his was so depress he beat up older brother because the muffler in the car had a hole in it.so life a gift enjoy it
2006-08-02 04:38:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! It is the age of fresh beginnings. A lot of people don't even begin to make their mark on life until after 40. Some of us even do our best work over 60. Stop thinking negative and turn to positive and that is what will manifest. What seeds of promise and prosperity do you wish to harvest? Sow them now!
2006-08-02 04:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by jmmevolve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life after 40 can be good, I am almost 60, try to keep a
young frame of mind, I still celebrate Halloween,just like
a kid! As for health, get your regular "female" exams,
and know that "wisdom does come with age" it is true,
I heard that when I was younger and didn't believe it,
but it is, my best to you,God's blessings.
2006-08-02 07:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jaymagiclady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My life since turning 40 has been an adventure. I have shed a lot things that I thought were very important when I was younger and have become much more content with what I have. I have become, curiously enough, much more successful at my career and have come to enjoy my work much more.
2006-08-02 04:35:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is JUST a number... it's all about how you feel inside and out! Can't help you on the menopause thing but cancer rates do increase in certain types... GO to your doctor and keep getting checked is the best "no brainer" way to live your life!!! Don't worry about things you can't control... don't seat the small stuff!!!
2006-08-02 04:37:06 · answer #11 · answered by MadMaxx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋