OK so my husband asked me to mail something from work to a female we are both kinda friends with she was friends with him first and I thought she had a thing for him before we got together 4 years ago. She doesn't live near us.. I asked what it was and he said he owed her like $20 from a long time ago. I forgot to mail it and just now it is sitting on my inbox at work and so I couldn't help but open it to see if he was lying about what he sent because we have had issues lately about him "omitting the truth". Well i found a $100 bill. Should I tell him I opened it and confront him? Or just let it go and stew? I'm going to reseal it and mail it but I just don't know what to do I'm pretty mad.
2006-08-02 03:35:35 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
take the $100 and put in a $20.
then wait and see what happens
2006-08-02 03:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Opening someone elses mail is a federal offense! He might have had some act with this girl for a while or maybe she got in some trouble and wanted the money and she knows how to play your husband. If he was doing something bad and trusted you with the envelope maybe he's done similar things that you don't know about. But if he's not then to really determine that you have to talk to him. Tell him you know what you did was wrong, but it was eating at you because you thought it was kind of odd how out of the blue it was that he should suddenly need to send her money. And lie to you about how much.
Start off by saying "we both did something bad". That way you take blame for opening the envelope, and he gets it for lying. Tell him what you did first and ask him if there's something he'd like to share with you. If he don't prod him. Ask why he told you $20 when you clearly saw $100. Then tell him it's time you both be honest.
2006-08-02 03:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by Kaisley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should not be opening his mail and second he should not be telling lies and letting you take the lie to the mail! However you looked and you will never let it go till you know why he is sending her $. Sooner or latter you will be punishing him for it anyways and he will hate you if you don't ask. But once you get your answer then will you be happy or will it make things worse? OK here is a way you can ask without asking. Take the letter and get it wet. tell him you must have dropped it in the car and you spilled your soda under the seat and got it all wet. Lay all the contents on the table but don't say a word about the amount of money or what ever else is in there just let him explain what he feels he should.
2006-08-02 03:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
La va_ca apparently has negative answers for everything.
At this point I wouldn't tell him you opened it. Only because the argument of trust and privacy will arise. You are better off seeing where the $100 is missing from and confront him that way. Just say "hey I noticed there is $100 missing from the account. Did you take it?" If he say yes then kindly ask for what? And even throw a joke in there like "what'd ya buy me?" Now, going forward, pay closer attention to what he is doing not to close you will make yourself nuts if you do it too close because your mind will play tricks with you.
Maybe this girl called him and she was in a bind and had no one else to turn too and put her tail between her legs and asked him. And him being the nice guy helped her out. By helping her he knew it might upset you so he didn't tell you to avoid the argument. Men don't always think like we do. He doesn't see anything wrong with it, but we would.
Good luck and best wishes!!!
2006-08-02 04:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to put $20.00 in the envelope with a note that says, her is the money that WE owe you! Sorry it took so long to get to you! If we still owe you more, please let me know and I will get it out to you right away! Then sign your name and his name!
When she gets it she will be confused and more than likely she will call him to ask why, when she does and she tells him what happened, then he will have no choice to ask you about it and then you guys can put all your cards on the table and work this out! If he is cheating, he will be pissed and offensive, if she is just a friend he may be agitated, but he should not have a real problem with it!
As far as opening his mail, in my opinion, once you are married, that is your mail too! What's his is yours and whats yours is his!
I would keep a close eye on the mail and also the phone calls, if he has an email address check that too!
Trust me, I know what I am talking about cause I cheated on my ex husband and got caught and he told me all the ways that he checked to find out if I was cheating on him!
If you have kids, do all you can to work it out! Best of Luck and God bless, Tanya
2006-08-02 04:13:12 · answer #5 · answered by iLoveDawnDawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is lying to you. She felt free enough to call your husband and tell him she needed a loan b/c she's talking to him all the time. If you're both such good friends w/her she would have called YOU first instead of him. Any decent female friend would know it's proper etiquette to call the wife instead of the husband to avoid possible innuendoes. There's a lot of possibilities here. She's after him and he's enjoying the hell out of it or they're already involved and both enjoying the hell out of making a fool of you. He's also getting a kick out of manipulating and using you to mail the thing off to her as well. He "omits the truth" on a regular basis? Then why are you even asking this question - he's making a fool out of you.
2006-08-02 04:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him that you opened the letter, and be prepared for him to be pissed. It's an invasion of privacy.
On the other hand, you need to find out why he is mailing $100 to some woman. Maybe he really did owe her money.
Ask him why it was $100 when he told you it was $20.
2006-08-02 03:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I wouldn't say a DAMN thing. Take the money, go out and get yourself a pair of sexy azz shoes, sling backs at that.
No matter which way you put it, he has lied to you. And it's up to you to determine if your relationship is worth repairing.
If it was me, Diva, I would pack all his shiznits up into two grocery store bags, and leave them on the front door step (after I changed the locks and burned what couldn't fit into the bag)
If he's really lying and has been devious he will NOT ask you about the money - that would admit guilt on his part and NO Man likes to admit he is wrong or being shady
If he's being honest he might bring it up casually, like honey did you mail that letter for me?
No matter which way you slice it or dice it, the man you have committed yourself to is sending another chick YOUR money. Don't put up with that crap. He's sending her money from years way back, my FAT black azz. That's BS and you already know it.
Grab your nuts sweetheart, and put an end to it. You don't want to be 40 years old, having to second guess everything that comes out his mouth. And if you two have kids, is that what you want him to teach your babies? Lying and back stabbing. Un-uh.
So sit back and watch how it unfolds. But whatever you do DO NOT send another woman YOUR money. That would be stupid as hell.
Diva
2006-08-02 03:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by black_bi_diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should know the answer to your question! He is hiding the truth from you! You already caught him lying to you about the $20, so he is having an affair with her. Opening his mail is definitley a yes. To bad you can't trust him! Whether you like to know the truth about your husband two timing you or you don't. If that was me, I'd pack his belongings and tell him to get out. If you don't have trust, you have nothing. People whom do these types of things deserve no one. Get a real life. Hope my advise helps. Cocoa
2006-08-02 03:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he feels that since had the money so long that he should pay intrest on it. and if it was any thing else he would not have given it to u to mail. he trusted u with the mail so u trust him. or maybe he just made a mistake and put in a $ 100 instead of 20. and $ 100 is not that great amont for u to break a marriage over. just forget abt it and go on
2006-08-02 03:42:57 · answer #10 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have done the same thing. The nerve to ask you to mail this for him. I wonder if he owed you 20 bucks would he give you 80 bucks in int rest? You need to tell him the same thing you told us. What do you have to loose besides a hundred bucks. I would feel there is more to the story that he is lying about something so you have every right. Confront him just like you said it to us. The nerve that's y'all money!!
2006-08-02 03:47:21 · answer #11 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋