I'm sitting here pretending everything's okay
But it's not
I'm looking out the window
Seeing things i never saw before
Remembering the times we had
Seeing the marks in my head
The scars will haunt me
Good and bad
It feels like i'm all alone
Like i have nobody to lean my head on
Like half my heart is gone
Half my soul left
And half of me left with them
Why'd you leave
Can't you see
That there is only half of me
Why's you go
And leave me all alone
Not even talking
Not even wanting to see you again
I can't stop missing
Why'd you do all the dissing
And leave me broken and alone
Why you acted
I still don't know
Why you kissed me
I still don't know
Why you two faced everyone who was there
everyone who cared
I still don't know
I was there for you when you were hated
I was the one doing the loving
Why'd ou leave
Can't you see that there is only half of me
Why'd you go and leave me all alone
I thought i loved you but i was wrong
2006-08-02 03:33:57 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
ugh...so lame.
2006-08-02 03:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lola P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is this poem has some good points and some bad points. It is effective at getting the point across that you are feeling insignificant. i.e. small i in place of a proper pronoun. Perhaps if you put it to a tune and made a song out of it, it wouldn't seem so repetitive.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
2006-08-02 10:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say yeah cuz I write poetry to get my feelings out of me and it expresses the feeling well. It ends how the relationship feels like it ended and its full of questions. And it doesn't rhyme all the way through beccause the relationship doesn't sound like you could have had it peacefully so it couldn't rhyme
2006-08-02 16:55:13 · answer #3 · answered by balancin akt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its okay, but you can make it better. The rhythms not really there, or it is at moments but then it disappears. Maybe try not to be too cliche, like the second line, and the 7th about scars. And without so much repetition it's be more powerful, like use the repetition more sparingly coz when its too much it looses the impact and just gets predictable....i dunno just ideas (i like the 'i was the one doing the loving'line)
2006-08-02 10:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by wonders never cease 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what other people think. Art is an expression of self and is subjective. What matters is that you like it!
I personally think it is very heartfelt and I did like it and I am sorry you feel sad.
2006-08-02 10:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Your Personal Assistant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like a story then a poem
2006-08-02 10:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah this poems off the hook. Tell me, are you a famous poiet!!!
This also could become a song or rap!!!
2006-08-02 10:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by Saxqueen33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess but I woudn't post this someone else could take credit!
2006-08-02 10:38:07 · answer #8 · answered by *Fashiontiste* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is good. It sounds very sincere and heart-felt.
2006-08-02 10:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marvelous i have never heard a poem better than yours
2006-08-02 10:40:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u can do better.Its really nice.
2006-08-02 10:42:42 · answer #11 · answered by akar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋