he wont even watch her while i go to the supermarket i have to do everything even know i am returning to work next week
2006-08-02 03:27:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
that is such CRAP!
ugghh, where do guys get these ideas from??
honestly, i would be having a ROYAL cow if i were you and id have it all over his idiot a ss!!!
honey, i'm not sure what you can do to make things easier with such a neaderthal finacee, but i know the first thing that would fly out the window would be sex. then, there would be no more cooking, cleaning up after him, laundry, etc...i think you get the point.
basically, if he can't help with the baby, then you can't help him with laundry, cooking, etc.
i'm not saying live in total filth, but when you throw a load of clothes in...well, be sure that none of HIS clothes are in that load! when he runs out of underwear and asks you to do a load, inform him that, as a stay-at home mom, you work the statistical equivalent of 2 FULL_TIME jobs and that you're sure with him only working one f/t job, he can find his way to doing some laundry.
same goes for ANY of the chores around the house you may do for him. oh, and when you go grocery shopping...be sure you only buy food for you and baby. so, those cookies or snacks he really likes, well, he can go get them himself!
i think you get my drift. as for the housecleaning, well, unfortunately you'll have to continue that, unless you want to live in a pig sty.
if none of this works, and it'll take a little while for your point to get across, so hang in there....if it doesn't seem to work, then go to HIS mother! i hope she is a normal mom/woman and will kick his butt!
if none of that works, then i would seriously consider whether you want to marry this idiot or not. seriously, the last 11 months has been a mere glimpse at the rest of your life. is that how you want things to be?? he is not interested in being a partner at all. he wants a maid and housekeeper.
i wish you well.
take care.
2006-08-02 04:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to make a baby and 2 to take care of a baby. If he wasn't willing to help raise the child he shouldn't have had sex with you. Sorry to be brutal, but in my honest opinion a child needs both parents to share in their upbringing. It will never be a 50/50 arrangement as Moms do take care of the children much more often than the Dads. But once you return to work you will need his help. Of course, if he agrees to cook, clean, do the laundry and whatever other household chores you normally do then maybe that would be a compromise for a while. But he really should be involved in raising your child.
2006-08-02 10:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by aliza1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And how long did you two date each other exclusively before he became your fiancé (fiancée is for a woman, fiancé is for a man) or before you considered him your fiancé?
Your question reveals a lot of unanswered, unaddressed questions about your relationship (questions you and your fiancé should have considered long ago), the fruit of which is this innocent 11-month-old baby. Since when did your so-called fiancé stopped caring for the baby? When the baby was 3, 4, 6 months old or since the baby was born?
Yours is a sad, sad story. You'll have to find the answers yourself. If you are adult enough to have a baby, you are adult enough to consider the consequences, fiancé or no fiancé. If you have to resort to Yahoo! Answers for such a dire situation, I feel sorry for you and sorrier for the baby.
2006-08-02 10:39:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad you two didn't have a discussion before the baby was born about what to expect from each other.
It's unfortunate that your fiance doesn't understand that good, healthy parenting involves two people...just the way conception did!
Speak to him honestly about how unfair it is and how you need him to step up to his responsibilities as a dad and partner to you.
If he doesn't improve, then I don't know what you can do except: counseling for both of you (or just you, if he refuses...it can still be helpful), or tell him if he doesn't change, then the relationship is over.
2006-08-02 10:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb! That's no man if he can't take care of his child. My husband works 14+ hours a day and still finds time to be with our children. It takes 2 to tango and he needs to own up to his part of parenting.
2006-08-02 10:34:48 · answer #5 · answered by Tortured Soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked with him about how you feel?
You both need to work as a team, and you need to explain to him in a calm and mature manner that you need his support. You are not a single parent, and this is his child as well. It's time for him to take control.
2006-08-02 10:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you dont get to "leave" work.. your baby is always there.. and remind him that he needs to spend some alone time with baby, or your little one will be a mommy junkie.. you want to be able to leave the baby with daddy so you can have some alone time. Just ask him to help you. mommyhood is stressful!!!!!!
2006-08-02 23:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are a stay at home mom youe kinda stuck till you go back to work. i always split duties even though i worked and she didnt. right down to midnight feedings. i wanted to part of raising my kids though
2006-08-02 10:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats how it is sometimes being a mommy is hard!
2006-08-02 10:31:46 · answer #9 · answered by aintgivinup79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋