Is he coming back?

Question

My boyfriend who I have lived with for 3 years has suddenly just ended our relationship. He swears blind that there's nobody else and just seems to have become caught up in a couple of mundane problems that we should have solved a while ago and have blown up in his head - running from 'us' rather than solving them. I'm devastated and never saw this coming - we always did everything together, right until a few days ago. Do you think I'm deluding myself to have hope that he's going to come back? No silly answers please as I'm pretty upset right now.

Someone below mentioned my age: I'm 29 and he is 31.

Answer 1

I can't say whether he'll come back or not however you shouldn't give up. He might just need some time alone to try and sort some things out. It sounds like these mundane problems may have built up and caused him to leave and find space. It may be that he's scared of deeper commitment. Living with someone for 3 years and then ending it all of a sudden sounds like he just needs to sort a few things out and take a brake. Don't bombard him with texts and calls, give him a few days to be alone and sort things out. Then maybe you should call and see if he wants to meet up somewhere neutral for a chat, to see if you can sort things out. I hope this helps. You must feel really down at the moment.

Answer 2

If you can keep communicating then there is a chance that you can solve the problems together and get the good times going again and learn from the past mistake.

However I think you also have to accept that that will be very difficult to do, he has obviously been brooding on these issues for a while and feels he has made a final and dfficult decision.

My partner did a similar thing to me after we'd been together a couple of years. I asked him to do me the honour of spending one final day together, with no pressure and as friends. It gave us the chance to talk through some of the issues we were having and by the end of the day we agreed to try again. We've now been together 7 years. I can't say this will work for you but the only chance you have of putting your relationship onto the right footing is to open the lines of communication. I also recommend the book 'Relationship Rescue' that is what helped me through those tough times and I still refer to it now to help me keep our relationship as healthy as possible.

Answer 3

Maybe if he manages to resolve the issues, then he may come back. Saying that though, if they were "couple" issues then they should have been resolved between you and he won't be able to do it alone. It is awful when that happens because, I guess you are thinking "if only we'd have talked about it", etc. but men do that sometimes, they refuse to talk and then they run when a small problem becomes something they can't cope with. I don;t think he will come back as I don't think he will be able to sort things out on his own. Also, if he isn't mature enough to deal with a small problem, you are better off without him.

Answer 4

It really hurts when you have been in a relationship for a few years and your partner decides to move on. But you have to come to realize this,if it was meant for the two of you to be together and to last forever, then he would have never left you in the first place! I think that it would be best for you to just move on with your own life as well. Sitting and dwelling over it will only keep you down in the dumps! He is not worth that! I don't know how old you are but I do want to tell you this much. It is never to late to find your true love! This guy wasn't him, but your true love is out there some where! Just have plenty of patients, and true confidence in your self! As long as you dwell on what you once had and you have decided since you do not have him it just isn't worth having anyone else, and you decided it would be best to just give up on love. That is the wrong way to look at it! You will not only be feeding his ego by contacting him and trying to find out why he left you, but you will also be hurting your self tremendously, because you are allowing him to knock your pride, self confidence,& self esteem down, and also much, much, more!!! Don't ever give up on love. but also don't allow your self to become treated as a has been either!!!!
Because You Are Not One!
Good Luck To You!!!!

Answer 5

Sorry to hear your boyfriend ended the relationship. He must not be in love with you or he wouldn't of did this. I know he left because of a good reason, either there is someone else or his feelings arn't genuine for you. You may never know why he left! If I wer're you I wouldn't waste my time on him. Because if you do he will most likely hurt you again. You only live once, so you need that one person to truely love and respect your feelings.There are people out there who are looking for someone to love and cherish. Don't give your x-boyfriend the time of day, move on. Hope this helps you too see the true light! Cocoa

Answer 6

it is very hard to say if he will be coming back, because you can never tell with a man.
i was in a 3 year relationship myself, and we also went out together on weekends, had a laugh etc, and then one day things just started to fall apart, i couldnt keep on fighting so i broke up with him, then i found out he made someone else pregnant, i am not trying to make you feel worse, but men can be jerks sometimes.
do a little bit of self searching, and then try to meet up with him and tell him after 3 years the least he can do is give you a reason, or is he not fit for his age. ask him if he knows what respect is,
we are all here for each other

Answer 7

hun it hurts when a relationship ends n really he did it in a assnine way. what a creep. take the time n get over him there is someone else out there better 4 u. just give urself a chance if this loser did not see what he had the first time he does not deserve a second chance n really do u want 2 give him a second chance knowing that he could do this all over again when ur gaurd is down again.

take the time 2 get over n move on.

Answer 8

Sometimes what happens is when we live together,we do not see problems creeping up on us.You say he has got gaught up in MUNDANE problems. The problems obviously are not MUNDANE in his mind.To him they seem real enough to have ended the relationship.
Try contacting him and say that you really did not see these things coming up and that you obviously did not realize how he felt about the problem. and see what he says.
The fact that there is no one else in his life should give you hope that all is not lost and that you need a real heart to heart.with him.
good luck.
.

Answer 9

hey sorry to hear that, however I do understand your bf. I am goign through that with my hubby and I am trying to talk to him, or shall I say have tried to talk to him about all of this over the years, and he 4 yrs later and him being gone, he has just NOW realize that we have some issues that need to be addressed, the only problem now is he is so involved with his job that there is not any time on his part to deal with it. I say whatever, and live your life girl it is not worth fighting, or getting down about. There are plenty of FISH IN THE SEA.. Good luck, sorry I know that was not much help..

Answer 10

Firstly i have to say after 3 years it wount be as out of the blue as it seems, he's probably being thinking about it for a while,
he may come back he may not. it sounds like he just needs some freedom, and is using any exuse to get out. What you should do is go out woth your friends (thats what they are there for!) and have fun don't dwell on what you had, or you'll never get it back. Just go out show him how much fun you are and what he's missing he'll come running back, you never know if you do you might realise you don't want him back.