Hey so heres the thing I am gay and I have been out for like ever however my best friend of like 10 years has always been str8....and hes always had a girlfriend....however he just broke up with her and now he has been doing a lot of things with me like he takes me out to eat or he will take me shopping ......just different things that are giving weird ideas. He just told me that he wants to take me to Disneyland this weekend......and then on my birthday he took me out to dinner and it was just me and him ...he didnt invite any of my other friends....and now when I go over to his house he acts differently....... he seems to be more close to me....I dont know..... we are only 22 years old so it could be that he now discovered that hes gay ....I NEED HELP!!!
2006-08-02 02:43:57 · 23 answers · asked by confused1 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ohh FYI yes I am into him and now that hes being this way I have fallen for him even more.....but I would be fine if he was str8 I just want to know ..you would think that since we are so close it would be easy for me to ask him but...in all actuality its not....... man oh man am I a bad friend??
2006-08-02 03:25:45 · update #1
Let it emerge at its own speed. Trust the elder (I'm 38). Let it emerge at his speed. Have fun, be close to him, be comfortable being with him. Hold his hand in the car sometime -- see if he lets you, I know this is tough -- but let it develop as you would if you were a girl from the upper middle class and he was straight. Don't push, don't question -- just be. If he let's you hold his hand, cool. See where it goes. If he kisses you, kiss him. If he let's you hug him, then hug him when you see him and when you leave him. It will all work out.
It may just be a very close friendship, I have several straight friends who love me so much, some that I am closer to than their wives and who are closer to me than my partner of 15 years in many non-sexual ways. That relationship is ok too. It may be that he needs comfort and you are giving it. It may be that he is gay or bi and is finally coming to terms with it.
Whatever it is, let it be, and be with it.
Kind thoughts,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
PS I hear the people telling you to ask -- DON'T -- if he is dealing with it and working through it and you ask -- you will shatter his path. Let it work itself out and let him draw as close and intimate as he wants. Remember, your love for him is not just lust like it might be with some bois -- its love. That love will endure, no matter what else happens.
2006-08-02 03:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two possibilities
1. he's straight and he's just relying on his best friend to help him get over his breakup.
2. he broke up with his girlfriend because he fancies his gay best friend.
Unfortunately for you it's more likely to be option 1. However the best way to find out would be to work the conversation around to asking him (and not an up front "R U Gay?").
2006-08-02 03:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go there! You are cruising for a broken heart. Even if he IS gay, he is recovering from a loss, and you want to be his friend and moral support and not use it to seduce him.
If he is not gay, you could damage your freindship permanently.
Hands off! Let him come to you, and IF he does, tell him you love him, honor his friendship, and don't want to take advantage of his vulnerability, when he is not thinking straight-(pardon the pun.) Be his hero, and you'll keep a best friend. If he's gay, he'll figure it out, and you'll be standing right there.
Good luck.
2006-08-02 03:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is lonely.
If he is gay he will let you know when he is ready.
Sexuality is a very personal thing, allowing a person do "figure things out for themselves" is very important. Just make sure that he knows he has you to talk to, that you are not casting any judgements on him, and you care. Everything else will work itself out in time.
2006-08-02 02:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's definitely needing your friendship right now. Make sure you don't take advantage of him during this time. If he is questioning his sexuality, that's ok, but let him do it in his time. Don't rush or force the issue. Manytimes gay guys in hopes of having a deeper relationship withsome they truly care about misread the signs.
2006-08-02 04:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by E Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plant a big sloppy one right on his mouth. Whaever happens it will shake out what is going on in about 10 seconds.
2006-08-02 03:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't he just be your friend who happens to enjoy your company? You are making an issue of this. Until he says anything different, treat him as straight or you may lose him altogether.
2006-08-03 00:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jake D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in the amount of time it took you to ask us, you could have asked him and you would have your answer already. If he knows your gay why not just ask him? Whats the problem!
2006-08-02 02:54:24 · answer #8 · answered by Mark F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he really needs his best friend because of the breakup. Try not to make more of it than that.
2006-08-02 03:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to know ask if not just let it be how it is. Do you possibly have a crush on him that you don't want to admit and are hopefully thinking?
2006-08-02 02:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋