I need some help?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, we live together and My whole family knows I'm pregnant. I starting to put on weight and his family doesn't know yet. His family is very religious, and I know they will be upset. Should he tell them by himself or should I be there for support? I am just worried that if I go they will say terrible things to me.

Answer 1

They are going to be part of your family now, by pregnancy. Personally if it was my son coming to tell me this I would like to have you both there, you are supposed to be a partnership and you are in the child at least. But be ready for the inevitable 'so are you going to get married." in fact I think you should both know the answer to that question before you even arrive. You can have a justice of the pece ceremony and then the more religious one later, But maybe you dont want to I understand how you might not want to. But you love him enough to have and keep is baby. Why not marry him too. Or do you think that is not going to work? really it is all hard stuff be ready with what you are going to say and be prepared to promise and then do.

Answer 2

Be honest with your boyfriend and ask him what is the real reason that he has not told his family about you being pregnant. You should also express to him your concern in regards to this matter. Once you both come to an understanding, then you both should tell his family. You both are adults, you been together for this long and you both live together so why should they be upset. A baby is a blessing not a disgrace. If you have a good relationship with his family I highly doubt if they are going to say horrible things. But if they do then you know in your heart that you told them, they know and is up to them if they choose to accept it. Your family knows and they will be there. So don't stress on things that is not in your control, is not good for you or the baby. Congratulations.

Answer 3

If others can tell, why can't they? If they are religious, they will be supportive because they know it is wrong to abort. They may be upset but give them time to come around. That is up to you. Would you feel comfortable going with him? It will likely be a stressful time for everyone. Things will probably get out of hand or nothing much will be said because you are there. You have to face them eventually. You were adult enough to do things in order to get pregnant, so in my opinion you should be adult enough to face the music. Good or bad.

Answer 4

My fiance and I both supported each other when we told families. We didn't have to but because we chose to our relationship grew stronger. His family pretty much despised me at first but what mattered was me and him and our child. When the baby was born his family became more open and accepting, and now we're even very close. This is your baby as well so you should be involved in it, hard or not. Get used to it because you'll have to stand up for your child more often than you may think. Every family member wants imput on how the child should be raised. And of course they will always think they are right. Good luck!! And Congrats!!!

Answer 5

I was there and since you are both grown (?) and this is your decision I feel that you should both be there when the news is spread. This is a very happy time. I was with my husband for a year when I got pregnant and his family is old fashioned in no sex before marriage. Sure they were upset but there was soo much excitment when our first was born. Now we have 4. Don't let them and their ways influence the way you feel, this is your and your man's baby and their grandchild. You deserve to be involved with it all.

Answer 6

I think that you should be there, cause even if they do get upset, it wont last long. Very few people can stay upset long knowing that they have a grandchild on the way. If your boyfriend makes it clear that he wants to do it alone, then let him. Otherwise, take the brunt of it with him, there is power in numbers and you already have 2 behind you....lol. Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

I think you should go with him & back him up. It can be a lot easier to deal with family when you have support. My husband & I always tell our families big news together & it seems to work out better. Good luck & congratulations on your baby! :)

Answer 8

If they are going to be ugly about it. Maybe he should just call them on the phone and tell them. It's not necessary to tell people in person. No need to add stress of other people opinions to an already stressful (though joyous) time in your lives. You guys need support not negativity. They'll come around eventually.

Answer 9

yikes.

this kind of happened to my brother. my mom is very religious. he waited so long that my mom noticed his girlfriend was sick and gaining weight. so she confronted them. it got ugly...but she got over it pretty quickly. i think because she is religious---upset, shocked, disappointment---at first, but a little life to think about--and she's 19 today. i think if i were you, i wouldn't be there--unless he really wants you there. but i would let the shock set in--believe me---if they are religious--there will be shock. give this family their moment...and don't take it personally. their lives are forever changed too. besides---you don't need the stress. it's nothing against you, it will all be ok. he needs to tell them soon.

Answer 10

Go with him but explain to him your fears of his family saying terrible things. You are there to support him, he should be there to support you if they do.