I am a 33-year-old bisexual female.
I wouldn't tell a guy this at the outset of dating, because to me that would just be a waste of energy if it turns out that we don't like each other for some other reason. I also wouldn't tell him unless I felt I could trust him, mainly because I am not "out" to my family or co-workers yet. But I wouldn't want to wait until he's on one knee proposing to spring it on him, either.
What is a good "rule of thumb" for this sort of thing? Is it pretty much a matter of gut instinct?
2006-08-02 02:37:51 · 19 answers · asked by mynx326 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am strictly monogamous and I don't sleep with a man (or woman) until I have been together with them for a long time (like 6 months to a year).
2006-08-02 03:41:40 · update #1
You basically answered your own question right there. You said "I wouldn't tell him unless I felt I could trust him." If you truly trust this guy then you shouldn't have any problems other than having the courage to tell him.
2006-08-03 00:08:26 · answer #1 · answered by OmEGaTyRAnt 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi I'm a 38 year-old bisexual male - seems only fair I should reciprocate :)
If you know that you are going to be faithful to the guy until you're no longer together, then you don't have to tell him.
My rule of thumb is at the outset - but then I'm not closeted and those that don't know I don't care if they find out.
As for when is right in your situation, well I think you'll need to see how your relationship progresses and apply your gut instinct, as you say. There can't be a hard and fast rule - every guy you go out with will have a different outlook and attitude (though most, I daresay, will be delighted to know).
Sorry to have not really offered you any kind of a fixed answer, I just don't think there is one.
2006-08-02 10:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being out as a bisexual is a good thing and will help the cause of bi girls being real without the myths. So happy to hear you found the person you want to be with. Good for you. But just because you're with a guy doesn't make you straight, you're still bi. (as you know) So tell me whenever you feel comfortable doing so. Also be ready to do away with the myths about bisexuals.
Myth: Bisexuals are not monogamous. Not true, they are.
Being or not being loyal to the one you're with is a choice everybody makes.
2006-08-02 12:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haye, me too 33 year old bisexual female, lol.
Girlfriend do it from the jump. So what if he runs away. Better at the on-set opposed to after feelings are established and you have to drop the bombshell.
Then he will wonder what ELSE you are withholding or lying about.
Be comfortable with your sexuality (I mean don't get your car spray painted in rainbow colors). But be open with it. It is who you are and it's up to others to accept it or reject it.
I too, wondered if I could ever come out and say haye, I like kitty kat AND schlong. And when i did i found out that just about everyone encountered was feeling the same thing.
As my man says; "Everyone is a Freak, some just suppress it better than others"
Diva
2006-08-02 12:10:05 · answer #4 · answered by black_bi_diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe this is something that you should share as soon as you feel comfortable telling him. I mean you wouldn't want to tell him to soon, have a messy break-up, and have him tell everyone that you didn't want to know. So I would just get to know the guy, and wait until you feel like you can trust him. If you feel like this will be a long term relationship than go for it. Otherwise why waste the time explaining it to him.
2006-08-02 09:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by Nintendo Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About 5 min. into the relationship should be fine. You sound like a very selfish person, I do not know if I have heard of anything more selfish in my life. Stop hiding who you are.
2006-08-02 09:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by Mark F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it something that he needs to know as he's still falling for you and you for him. So the dating stage like 2 or 3 months.
2006-08-02 10:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont tell him, SHOW HIM. Introduce him to you sexuality. Invite him to join in.
Personally I prefer bi women, and I will always ask the question up front. If a lady tells me early on in our relationship it is a good thing.
2006-08-02 10:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as you think things are starting to get serious. He needs to know very soon in the relationship so you're not wasting his time (and YOURS) if it's something that would cause him to turn away.
2006-08-02 09:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by carmilysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think about 15 minutes after your first sexual encounter with him becasue at that moment he has a need to know.
2006-08-02 10:00:37 · answer #10 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋