Why Is It So Hard To Be Honest and Straightforward?

Question

I am a very feeling person. I am concerned because often, despite of myself and my best intentions, I am afraid of telling others how I really feel. I am being untrue to myself and of course, this is contra-indicated to a successful life. Any advise on helping me speak my mind and or heart? Thanks

Answer 1

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Sometimes people don't want to know the truth. They only want to hear what the answer should be.

Answer 2

Behind the inability to be straightforward, lies the fear of man: more specifically, at least on an unconscious level, the fear of being killed by man.

Since I became a Christian, I'm just not too worried about this eventuality. There is a tremendous amount of freedom in telling people the simple truth regardless of the consequences.

The next time you are tempted to bend your thoughts and words to suit the occasion, ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen if I tell the truth?" If the potential consequences are bearable, go ahead and say what is on your mind. Most of the time we find that our fears are unfounded, and people actually appreciate the directness (in the long run)

You may not be invited to as many parties, but I guarantee that you'll be sought out when someone wants a straight answer, like the one that you are getting now.

Answer 3

Telling the truth and beign honest and straight forward has pretty much always come easy to me. I admit when I'm wrong, and when I feel like somethings not right, I speak my mind. All I can say is listen to you heart. Don't be afraid to speak out. To get around in life you have to speak out. Make your voice be heard. Go with whatever your heart tells you. Sometimes you know where you should go, before you know the way. Just go for it, and tell people how you feel. Speak out and let your voice be heard. Don't be afraid!!!! Standing in the shadows being quiet as a mouse isn't going to get you anywhere! Who cares what others may think. Get out there and let people hear what you have to say!

Answer 4

Being completely honest is not very good in the social aspectes of human life. There are somethings that while being quiet true cannot be said to another person. A straight forward person while being moraly correct cannot be the most liked person in the world, to do that you have to tell people what they want to hear.

It really dependes on the person as to how honest and straight forward they want to be and at what times they choose to do so and what the consequences of this turns out to be.

Answer 5

It is most important to be straightforward and honest to yourself.
True to your self.

Tact & Discretion is what is required when dealing with others, not using these tools can spell the beginning of problems beyond your expectations. Some people do not have the maturity to deal with what you may perceive as the truth.

Ask yourself, "Is this the proper time for the truth?" "Do I need to tell this truth?" "Will telling this truth, cause danger/ruin for me or others?" "Am I just being a blabber mouth?" What good will it serve, other than my ego being fed, if I tell this truth now?" "How important is this truth?"

Sometimes we undo ourselves by the same weapon that Samson used against the Phillestines. The Jaw Bone of an ***!!

Weigh what you tell,to whom you tell it, how you tell it, when you tell it, and why you see the need to tell it.

Keep something for yourself. Use your wisdom.

Answer 6

Simply because of our sin problem. I am amazed how people can make this issue so complex when it is really very simple. Read Romans 3. When a person knows who they are in Jesus nothing is to difficult tell, especially the truth, a Christian's strength comes from God. I know that God loves me unconditionally and it matter little what others might think. Before you try to resolve your external problems, resolve you relationship with God. Read Jeremiah 29:11,12. Then Read Romans chapter 5. Then if you receive the forgiveness that God offers through Jesus(I'm not talking religion, but a relationship) then find a church where you where you can find another Christian to confide in.

Answer 7

Dear friend, it's not bad that's you feel this way.... Sometimes everybody afraid telling the others the truth for many reason such as they are going to hurt them. But we always have to express our feelings because the others may feel the same and they are afraid too. Just try to tell how do you feel, the first time say a little bit, the second more and eventually they are gonna understand how do you feel and support you. hope that's help!

Answer 8

Honesty is the best policy and to be straightfoward is a life long lesson. To give someone your true feeling take hard work to get mastered yet quite simple. Whatever you have inside release it and let it out it will make you feel much better and also help others

Answer 9

When many people ask you what you think, they are looking to validate themselves and their opinions, not asking how you really feel. They are trying to substantiate their own feelings of inadequacy by getting people to agree with them and identify with a larger group of people. A person with a good sense of their own self is neither elevated nor diminished by people with varying opinions on things. We come from different backgrounds and different cultures with different values. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and your life experiences help to shape how you see and what you believe. My personal philosophy is to have a few good friends, not a multitude of acquaintances. Acquaintances come and go in your life, but friends remain a constant presence. Find peace in your life by choosing a set of values that you are comfortable with, and people will choose to be your friend based on common beliefs and values. More than that, you cannot control.

Answer 10

It isn't for me. Think of what's best for the individual,if it would
devastate them then don't kill them. But you can still be honest.
It's a diplomatic process, you'll need to learn. First, since you're
an honest/feeling type of person you need to get thicker skin.
And you need to fortify your heart. You must be comfortable in
your own skin/self before you can voice opinions.And when you
voice your 2cents you should be able to back it,& defend consequences.

Answer 11

I have once been someone like you...

My only advice is: Constantly keep in mind the fact that others love you as much as you do them.

Nothing will change that.

Also, slowly start by first telling them that you have this difficulty. Let them understand, lest they imagine you to be completely bereft of feelings.

Then slowly open up to them.

Hope this helps