they were really young when they got married and they have a child together, she moved away to another state with the child and iknow its tearing my fiance apart...any advice...im afriad he doesnt love me or cant fully love me because of the pain hes been through with his first marriage
2006-08-02 01:05:28 · 10 answers · asked by Jennifer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
JENNIFER I CAN TELL YOU THAT IF SHE WAS HIS FIRST LOVE THAT HE WILL ALWAYS CARE FOR HER.THEY SHARE A CHILD TOGETHER.THERE IS A BOND THERE THAT WILL BE THERE FOR EVER.THAT DOEST MEAN THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU.SO REACH OUT TO HIM IN HIS PAIN THAT WE SHOW HIM THAT YOU CARE FOR HIM A WHAT HE IS GOING THROUGH.BE THERE FOR HIM.LOVE HIM IM SURE HE LOVES YOU .DONT HOLD IT AGAINST HIM FOR CARING FOR HER TRY TO GET ALONG WITH HER IT WILL BE BETTER FOR THE CHILD.I HAVE BEEN THERE I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE.TRUST ME THE PAIN OF A MARRIAGE BREAK UP DOES GET BETTER.I KNOW BEEN THERE.IF YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS.DONT WORRY ABOUT YESTERDAYS RELATIONSHIP JUST FOCUS ON TODAY MY GOD BLESS YOUR RELATIONSHIP.TRUST IN THE LORD TO HELP YOU THROUGH YOUR PROBLEMS.HE CAN AND WILL
2006-08-02 02:30:59 · answer #1 · answered by Tina H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, getting married is between the main necessary determination in a individual's existence. As i'm constructive you recognize that your significant different ought to be your lifelong significant different and soul mate. I in actual fact desire you and your fiance wil be such couple. although, too lots of human beings those days fell head over heels in love and rushed to get married. Slowly (sometimes quickly) the keenness diminished away, and extraordinarily quickly you discover which you 2 now no longer actually have a communicate for the duration of dinner. Then for various motives, alongside with infidelity or emotional vacancy, married couple drifted away better and larger and at last get divorced. Now, returned on your question, i think of you should provide him a while until he's fairly waiting with none tension. consistent with hazard he has economic burdens or different matters that he desires to artwork out first until now getting married with you. although, if he seems to be fending off marriage without solid convincing motives, then i think of you recognize what you should do. desirable desires!
2016-12-14 18:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jennifer,
This is my opinion only so take it for what its worth..
Personally, if I were shopping for a husband and happended to find one who was previously married and had a child with that person... I would want to know that my boyfriend/soon to be hubby has a good heart and would always love the mother of his child. (In no way am I implying he should be IN LOVE with her) but knowing he still loves her and cares about her well being means he is a man of integrity. Would you want a man who can turn his emotions from hot to cold so easily? This could easily happen to you if thats the case.
Best wishes!
2006-08-02 06:16:12 · answer #3 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he's able to have you in his life, should give you some comfort.
Now, I am not saying he can't have feelings for his once wife, but you are in his life now and time heals all wounds unless you
keep throwing salt in them.
The fact that he has consider you to marry despite the pain he suffered in his previous marriage shows he is considering you in his future.
Just be satisfied your to this point and stop trying to figure out what he's thinking because with a man you will never know.
Unless you see and feel differently , then I say be patience.
2006-08-02 02:06:03 · answer #4 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is always going to love her. But it is not going to be the same love that he has for you. I am sure what he has for you is better than that. At least now he knows what he is looking for in a marriage. As for the child, that is sad, but he will get over it.
2006-08-02 01:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband and I are friends now and neither of us has feelings for the other. We're both remarried to other people now. We do have a daughter together so I know we'll be connected through her. But, if you have doubts, talk it out. You could be right.
2006-08-02 01:13:55 · answer #6 · answered by vitamin D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. Talk to him about it...don't hide your feelings. Find out what he is really feeling. Also, he should have some custody to see his child of have the child see him.
2006-08-02 01:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by jessigirl00781 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'd best get this question answered by your fiance before you marry him !! It could be he misses the kid they had and your jumping to assumptions. But, I'd find out for sure !!!
2006-08-02 01:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by quiet times 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just loves her because she had his child and his love for you is totally different because he is in love with you!
2006-08-02 01:19:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he'll always love her, but it's different. Didn't you ever love someone and still "love" them, but now it's different. I guess it's hard to describe unless you've been there.
Sorry...it wasn't much help.
2006-08-02 01:10:54 · answer #10 · answered by toobusy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋