only staying for the kids sake, but hoping you will still be loved by someone special one day.
2006-08-02 00:43:11 · 21 answers · asked by sonia 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I nearly got a divorce last year but he was unwilling to sign the papers, wanted another go at it, plus I got no support from my family, I feel so hollow inside, but I m doing my best to bring the kids up best I can, I also have bi polar depression, but its ok there are people worse off then me. I have two beautiful kids, a very good job and thousands of lovely friends just like you!!!
2006-08-02 00:54:40 · update #1
I used to think I was but in all reality thats not the case ..we are never trapped hun its honestly our choice ..I almost got a divorce myself I was having alot of problams with my husband he treated me really bad and we also share a child together I was so confused i had been with him sense I was 15 and im now 26 and let me tell you i have been thru alot and i stood by him thru it all becuz i do care about him .. I felt I didnt love him nemore and wanted to leave but like u say I FELT i was trapped I mean ive based my life around him for many years had no work history no family and thru it all nomore friends either ..I sacrificed alot to get to where i am today its was hard and I lost myself as a person I went thru severe depression and anxiety ..I was so hurt he cheated ect.. its a long story but I done some serious soul searching and I hadda ask myself what I really wanted ...after it was all said and done I realized I had made a commitment to my husband for beter or worse till death do us part ..I decided to try and work my marriage out cuz let me tell u the grass isnt always greener on he other side not knowing from personal experiance but standing back and watching everyone elses lifes well it scared me .. I just preyed and asked god to help me through it .. my husband cheated b4 we wer married but i found out after marriage like i said very long story what im trying to get it is ur NOT TRAPPED ..you have family friends and u great job which means u could make it on your own if u needed too so the fact of the matter is if u wanted to leave sweety you would but maybe deep down in your heart you do love this man ..love is confusing and sometimes when wer not happy in life we think its our spouse causing the problams in most cases it may be but not all ..you really needa ask yourself if the love is truly gone ?? sometimes we try so hard to live we forget about what means the most to us .. the stress of everyday life gets in the way ..children work bills ect...and we tend to take our loved ones and the things they do for us for granted ..If your husband is not abusing you in any kind of way and if he hasnt cheated on you or broke you down as a person then maybe u should just try one last time to work out your marriage ..maybe ur depression isnt related to him at all ?? aww hun my heart really goes out too you ... I cant tell u to stay or go just follow your heart do what makes you happy ..im here if you ever wanna talk feel free to contact me ..ive been there myself and sometimes still go through it ... but ive came to realize anything worth having never comes easy ..and being in a comitted realtionship is hard work and it never stops ..noone is perfect and we all make mistakes ..love is understanding and forgiving plz follow your heart and do what you gotta do to be happy !!!
~much love~
2006-08-02 01:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Stayed with my wife for the last 5 years for the "kids sake". The kids do pick up on things and knew our marriage would end (they are 9 and 11) They witnessed some really bad arguments. We separated 2 weeks ago and the kids stay with me from Friday to Sunday and are with their mom during the week. The difference in them is incredible (in such a short time) and guess what - my wife and I are much happier too. We should have done it a long time ago. Sure I miss my kids dreadfully but talk to them on the phone once or twice a day. BUT I know they are much happier - they have said "It's so much nicer without the arguing". Our time together is quality time. On the plus side also, me and the other (separated) half seem to be getting on better also ! I'm not trying to say do or don't - just a precis on how it's going for me ! Good luck.
2006-08-02 01:40:34 · answer #2 · answered by B&H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's getting late, would love to answer this question too, as did one person in much detail, lets just say lovey, been there done that for many years, 29 married and 34 in total, stuck it out for my kids sake just like you, and did the other lady, she is only 26, but I'm 52, and had 5 kids, but there is still life out there, realy, not sure if I'm giving you the right vibes just yet, but if you want to contact me on here do so, or email me at annekeanelovesmanufc@yahoo.com
2006-08-02 13:03:52 · answer #3 · answered by anne k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me as I'm single and don't know much about marriage. But if you're feeling like that, would it not be better for you AND your kids if the marriage came to an end?
After a year of trying to make it work, surely nothing else can be done? In today's world, the concept of being trapped in marriage should really no longer exist.
I honestly hope things get better for you very soon :-)
Please take care for there really is such a thing as a Happy Ending :-)
2006-08-02 23:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by fojo81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by now i think that we have all figured that you are in a loveless marriage. i think that you should not say with your husband just for the sake of the kids. how can you make your children happy when you are not happy, and remember children pick up from their parents, do you want your children to grow up thinking it is okay for them to not be loved and treated with respect, because you are not being respected if you are in a loveless marriage. and besides how will you find that some one to make you happy when you still with your husband.cheating is the last thing you should do coz not only will you be disgraced you will have a bad name.its best to leave now and work out visitation for the children with their father, because trust me children need a father figure.
2006-08-02 01:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by rascal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to recapture the love you two have each other. Not for the kids, but for yourself and him. Seek profesional help such as cousneling or maybe get a babysitter and go out for a romantic evening. The longer you wait the further you grow apart.
2006-08-02 01:32:52 · answer #6 · answered by luedvic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i love my hubby and he loves me, im very fortunate, if i did feel like it was a loveless marriage i wouldnt stay for the sake of the kids as it would not be fair on them or me, i hope that you find that someone special one day as everyone deserves to be loved and treasured by someone
2006-08-02 00:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by emmamac14 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the process of ending loveless marriage. you aren't really doing the kids a favor when they can easily tell theres no love there. you are teaching them that this kind of relationship is OK, which it isn't. hopefully you and hubby can settle things peacefully and still parent your children as a much healthier team.
2006-08-02 00:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by nowayjosway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you remember a time when there was a spark between you? Could you imagine rekindling this spark? You could try counselling but if it is really over you must leave before it gets nasty - protect your kids - they won't thank you for making yourself unhappy for their sake. Good luck.
2006-08-02 00:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by Roxy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like my double, Im going through the exact same thing but decided enough is enough, we have agreed to seperate, and are going through medaition to try and sort out finance, its going to be a rocky road, good luck.
I finally decided I want a life and to be happy.... fed up with being unloved and lonely
2006-08-02 01:00:58 · answer #10 · answered by dreamlightweaver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋