My son is wonderful. We have taught him to be respectful and we try to live the same way. His hormones are flying. I am worried about his addiction to sexual thoughts and porn and girls and everything! Help!! Please don't tell me I'm worring to much or some smart remark about parenting. I am winging my way through this with very little instruction. I have never raised a teenage son before. Your nice answers would be appreciated!!
2006-08-01 23:32:03 · 35 answers · asked by lisalou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
look i am 17 year old guy nd same thing i do in ur son's age don't stop him it may be a great experience for ur son or may be any gal in his life sets his goal of life.in all aspects its better for ur son..........
best of luck
nd i am focusing on my goal just becos of my girl friend
2006-08-01 23:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're worrying a bit much. This might shock you but EVERY MAN IS "ADICTED TO DIRTY THOUGHTS AND PORN AND GIRLS". lol. I'm gonna be blunt with you, guys like porn. Every guy has porn stashed somewhere. Your son will masturbate. Alot. He's a teenage guy for god's sake. Would you rather he had no interest in sex whatsoever, at 14? That's just weird. I would recommend not letting him use the computer for sexual things (unless its his own computer which bought himself) simply because it's disrespectful to be using the computer in that way when the rest of the family uses it as well. Just let him be, it's totally normal for a boy of his age to be getting into his sexuality. He wasn't gonna be a little boy forever. Hope this helped.
edit: Please don't listen to aunt_beeaa. She is not being realistic. Just because he is getting into girls and porn and stuff DOES NOT mean he's gonna go get a girl pregnant. That's just ridiculous. Think of how many men are in the world, and think of how many got a girl pregnant at 14 or 15. I don't know the exact percent but it's gotta be less than 1. And the ones who did probably had parents who had no interest in their child and didn't care what they did. But you actually care about what your son is doing. I think you should just sit down with him and talk to him about it. Ask him "do you know what _________ is?" Do you know this, and this, and this? And if you don't want him having sex till he's a certian age, or untill he's married, then tell him that!! But do not try to tell him sexuality itself is dirty and wrong and that he shouldn't be having these thoughts, because then he'll just feel like a freak, and he's not. Every boy goes through this around his age. Just be upfront about it. That's part of being a good parent.
2006-08-01 23:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to a recent survey in Australia,60% of adult users search for porn more than any other form of information.
I had a look to see what all the fuss was about and frankly there was nothing there that I had not seen before the internet was ever invented.
It's all vastly overrated and anyone with half a brain soon gets bored with all that rubbish.
You can log on as computer administrator and censor his access to adult sites until he is a little older,but peer pressure has a big influence on kids that age.
Just discuss frankly with him what you think about it and let him know that you do not want him wasting his time studying porn instead of using the computer to learn something useful.
As he grows up,he will probably realise that sex is only a fairly minor part of life,not the most important matter on earth.
What is really important in relationships is not sex but love.That is never tarnished or sordid.
2006-08-02 00:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by mystic_master3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o.k. you are in charge not him. you are the parent he is the child. clear roles and expectations at this stage in his life. Truly this is want he wants although he will never admit it.that is o.k. it is pride and the result of wanting to be independent from you. this is a good thing.
1. flying hormones, no flying hormones. this behavior is not acceptable in your home.you can not control the entire world he lives in BUT, your home is a representation of the values you want to impart on him. keep it that way.
2. intercept his mail. he is only 14
3. no computer or, set it up so you are the only one who can sign on to the Internet. once he is on monitor him. the system should not be in a place where you can not see what he is doing.
you don't have to do this with anger. a short concise explanation will do. he is not going to like it but, he is entitled to his opinions however, a rule is a rule.
be very careful not to get engaged in his anger and/or arguments as to why this behavior is o.k. or what ever. state your opinion, listen to him (do not interrupt) state your opinion again to include your "rules" and leave it at that. you end the conversation Even if you have to leave the room.
it is important to remember that at this develpomental stage in his live he is not fully capable of thinking through all the choices he makes. there is a lot of imformation out there to better help you understand.
this stage in parenting is not very easy but, love him enough to take a hard line. remember to laugh. with all it's challenges it is a wonderful time of parenting.
hope this helps (mother of 3 teenagers!)
2006-08-01 23:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by mjohn28497@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have raised 2 teen sons and the last is 15 y/o. This is just a part of it from experience. If you take it all away, your message to his is "Its not o.k." to feel what he is feeling. It is o.k. He may need to be more discreet about it. My daughter did catch my youngest son masturbating and we explained to him he had to do this somewhere else other than the living room. My boys do not have any problems. I have found that being open and honest is always the best way to go. Don't hide or shame him. Its just the way things are. Your son is not hiding and that is so awesome for you! At least you know what he is doing and he feels like he doesn't have to hide it. So good for you!
2006-08-01 23:43:21 · answer #5 · answered by sweethometexas2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your son's doc. Maybe they can give you some reading matter(mine did at that age, without my ASKING). I wonder if he realizes that what he is doing is VERY disrespectful to females. He's so young. How could he possibly know that one of those "girls" on the other end, isn't a predator...I would cut down on his computer time and get him involved in LIFE. I raised two sons. Never had this problem, so I just wish you all the luck. Just remember YOU are the parent. It's YOUR job to teach him how to handle his hormones/emotions.
2006-08-01 23:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all dont think that its your parenting skills that got your son looking at porn. Its probably from the friends that he chooses to hang out with from school or watching to much television. My son is not yet a teen but if he was in your son's shoes an I in yours I wouldn't let him back on the computer is he was looking at porn an talking nasty to females.
2006-08-01 23:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by leihuaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all its completley normal for your kid to be thinking about sex 24/7. The problem with him talking to girls nasty on computors and in letters...well...you can monitor his nternet access or block it, but then he might end up hating you, as many teenagers tend to do. You can talk to him about the risks of doing what he is doing. Tell him that he might be corrupting another innocent girl on the internet. As for the porn...I say you let him watch but tell him to keep it to a minimum. Cutting it off completley will just make him want to watch it more and he might take drastic measures. He's an adolescent and all this is new to him. In time, he may get out of it. I hope I helped. Good luck!
2006-08-01 23:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by T-Jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is the begining, it is the most nasty thing gifted by western culture which earlier was carrying the flag of liberty, but afterward it became a nightmare, every mom in the world from now onwards will face more situations like this, these kind of problems are more prevalent in western countries ,may be because of the following reasons:
1) social isolation
2) free sex at very early age.
3) drugs & alcohol
4) EMPTINESS coz these kids have gone thro everything almost before they are 15-16 yrs. old.
5) no aims in life
6) overprotection by society , law , and so called LIBERAL culture.
2006-08-01 23:43:31 · answer #9 · answered by mr.serious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Think Would You Rather Your Son Be Out HAVING SEX?
I Think Not,
Just Let Him Be
It's Human Nature
He's A Teenage Boy
What'd Ya Expect?
2006-08-01 23:37:56 · answer #10 · answered by alyssa! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1 why are you letting this 14 yr on your computer w/o supervision.
If you don't have a NetNanny installed then get it. You as the parent are then in the drivers seat of your sons net surfing. This program can monitor chats, monitor where he can go on the NET and will shut your computer down if he tries to surf in the wrong areas.
You need to have some serious communicative chats with your raging hormonal son. If you don't his actions may become out of control and you might end up a GRANMA by the time he's 15!!!
Take charge PARENT!!!!! START being one ....you're the role model .....so....start by being the PARENT you should be!
2006-08-01 23:37:27 · answer #11 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋