i have da perfect inocent guy!! who is even 2 religous!! 8 months back.. he popose 2 me!! an i said yes!! now he open up da subject da let get married!! an im still 18!!... so im scared tht im skippin alot of ma life!! should i get married or noT??
2006-08-01 22:44:01 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I got married when I was 18. I don't know your situation, but if you are unsure, then you aren't ready, so don't do it. I wish I'd waited b/c I wasn't done 'sowing my wild oats.' It made me feel later in life that I'd missed out on part of my life; even though at the time, I was convinced that I was ready for marriage.
Just remember that you have your entire life to get married, don't jump into it. You have nothing but time.
2006-08-01 22:49:31 · answer #1 · answered by Cy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will be skipping a lot of your life, marriage is meant to last longer than you have even been alive yet. Weird no, happens all the time, not so wise definitely. Here are some things that might help you figure it out when to get married.
When you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, and a million other things you haven't thought of. You are very young so make sure you have a realistic idea of what it costs to live, check out the newspaper to see what rent for a descent place is, what are average utility bills in your area, what does it cost to feed two people every week? Can you afford all that? After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,
richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?
sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?
better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?
keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?
THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.
If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too!
Hope it helps!
2006-08-01 22:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 10 years older than you and feel that there is still way to much to see and live for me to get that involved.
But it all depends of the feelings and the love u feel I guess. And I am not sure you are really able to compare to anything or anybody at the age of 18...
Besides, little things like Sex are playing a huge role in a happy relationship and marriage...
2006-08-01 22:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that he has a career to support you.I was 18 when i married but he was a responsible guy and was working.So now i am happy and well off with him with our small fights and all.but you are still right, you might still miss some goodness of single life but this is another kind of happiness.Is'nt it?Then if he truly loves you, believe me there would be nothing that you would miss in your life.There might be fights which is usually because two different people aretrying to get adjusted.Just make sure that it has nothing to do with early marriage and have a faith in each other that you will bw able to make it happen,
2006-08-01 23:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by sana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time learning how better to communicate by wriitng. "Da" is sloppy when you speak, but to write using it is simply perverse, Or to put it in your own terms, "2 rite liek dis iz baaad" You will find communication skills very important throughout your life, and will regret wasting your opportunities to learn and apply them.
Eighteen is NOT too young to get married, and you can benefit from passing through "early experience" in partnership with the right mate. However early marriage usually (but not always) spells the end of formal education for the woman, and as I said earlier, you appear to need serious education in the area of communication skills.
A few things bother me, and I think should bother you. Though you seem proud (?) of the innocence of your boyfriend, you never once state that you love him. In this society, where you DO have freedom to choose your mate, your love for the person is of paramount concern. If you DON'T love him that should be your NUMBER ONE reson for thinking that you are too too young to marry. Another matter that bothers me is that you mention his innocence and religious devotion in connection with proposing to you many months ago. If you do not actually look forward to marriage you owe it to him that you terminate the engagement. Do not try compromise, luring him into having sex before marriage -- you would be destroying his roots and leave him with personality problems of his own.
Howedver, if you love him and believe your marriage would be good for both of you, and you have plans for no further formal education, then holding back because you think there is more to life to experience is not wise: Stay as innocent as he is -- his innocence thrills you, so don't you think yours would delight him? If you are not "innocent", then become innocent from now on -- for his sake if not for your own. And that includes your activities with him!
2006-08-01 23:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.. 18 is really too young to get married.. live with him if you feel ready .. get to know each other better..live as a couple and share things but dont get married yet..its a huge step and you r still too young.. You are not ready yet and maybe you dont know this guy so good as you think.. im not saying he aint good or somehting but just spend more time together.. it gets a lot of time to decide to marry someone..even if you want to do it its better to wait..
good luck =D
2006-08-01 23:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have a lot of life experience and u are still changing. if i would get marry in age of 18 i would be unhappy altho at that point of time everything was great; im 25 gettin marry tomorrow, my soon-to-be hsband shares the same life interest, has same attitude, and is carying person.
i use to think if u want to marry good, u need to be at least 23 and come from the same background
2006-08-01 23:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by Cloudy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He maybe great and all, but if you are freaking out about it maybe you 2 need some space. I mean you should go back to dating stage again. Because 18 is like way serious age to be dating. I mean you will be in a marriage probably even have a kid while your friends are out going to college and going to frat parties. You don't want to be in a situation where you will regret it later on. So talk to him and tell him to slow down. Because if he is trully a great guy he will understand.
2006-08-01 23:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are contimplating the fact that you are going to miss out on your life then you are going to think about that for the rest of your marriage. Take the ring if you really want to but at least wait until you are 21 to actually get married. You should be able to get your own apartment (and decorate it with out anyone else to tell you how) and pay your own bills. I am so glad that I did that for at least one year before I got married.
2006-08-02 02:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol...no. you have a lot of growing up to do. Not in a condescending way, but in the sense that you haven't experienced a lot of those things that you are meant to enjoy. Music, food, independance, etc.
i think it's romantic that you found someone you can love, but if he's as young as you then he also has a lot of growing up to do. Ask yourselves:
How many kids do you want?
where do you want to live?
Do you want to go to college?
What kind of job do you want?'
Holidays-his family or yours?
If you have kids, what religion will they be?
What religion will you practice?
How do you communicate?
What makes "me" happy?
DO NOT SAY, " We'll figure it out later" because these are the MOST common reasons for divorce.
2006-08-01 22:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by Fox 34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋