Before you judge me... please know that I understand I'm wrong here! I shouldn't feel this way, but I do! I'm falling in love with my friends wife. She is also a very good friend of mine. As if that weren't bad enough... I'm married too. I've been married for a few years now and have kids. She just got married with my friend a few months ago. They have been having problems since they were dating... I don't know why they got married... but now they still fight and argue a lot. There has been some eye contact and a few comments here and there from her part to lead me to believe that there might be something between us... I want so desperately for there to be something... I feel so warm inside when we make eye contact and keep it for a while... I have since stepped up and have been more aggresive in "trying" to let her know but I'm still unsure if she feels the same way... how can I know that she might be interested? Any female in the same situation from her point of view?
2006-08-01 19:59:51 · 32 answers · asked by dapreach 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just go for it and loose your family and kids and friend, then when u get together with the broad, she can cheat on you and you can loose her too....LOOSER!
2006-08-01 20:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to let it go. Do you want to destroy your marriage and tear apart your family over an infatuation? Have you considered the actual problems your "friend" is having in their relationship? Could it be her doing that may transfer over to a potential relationship with you? Is losing your friend and the judgment that will be passed on from other friends worth the sacrifice. How would you feel if one of your close friends stole your wife?
What I am trying to say is let your prick take a break from controlling your mind and really weigh the consequences. You did not mention your current feelings about your wife, the mother of your children or the impact this would have on their lives. Is this merely a crush or is it 100%, without a doubt, true love? Do you know her well enough to positively say you love her or do you just want her? Are you playing the "Knight in shining Armour" role and want to save her from her current unhappy situation. If you pursue this and have an affair, get caught, leave your family to be with her, would you feel it was worth losing your family if she later decided that the emotional impact of turmoil involved in taking on the role of "step-girlfriend" was too difficult so she throws in the towel?
I would highly suggest you see a therapist. Perhaps you can have a neutral person help you to analyze the situation to determine if this woman has something to offer that you currently lack in your relationship. There may be an underlying issue that when discovered, may heal your loss of caring for your wife's feelings.
Sit down and look at your wife, study her, imagine her dealing the pain of betrayal and loss before you make a decision. There is a lot at stake here. I do believe in soul mates; however, would your soul mate come to light under these conditions?
2006-08-02 17:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Kitt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful before you act on this. You will not only lose your wife, but your best friend too. Also, the kids will be confused and hurt. I had friends in a similar situation and it didn't work out for any of them. Trust is a very hard thing to regain after it is broken, and no matter what, if you start a relationship by cheating, it will be a very hard relationship to maintain. Have you tried making the same eye contact with your own wife? You were just as attracted to her at one time, try to find it again. Good luck with whatever path you choose.
2006-08-01 20:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jen B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't! Its easy to 'feel' things for a woman you spend time with that is new and different from your wife. That does NOT make it real or any of that other crap. This is just wrong in so many ways. You need to decide what kind of man you want to be. Are you sure you can do this and maintain any self respect because you will certainly lose the respect of your wife, kids and friend and probably his wife too. Why would she want to be with a disloyal cheater? That is what you will have proven yourself to be, besides she is married too. If they will do it with you they will do it to you. You should grow up, review your vows, work on your marriage instead of sticking your nose in your friends marriage and be very ashamed of yourself! You make it sound like you are a slave to your feelings, I'll bet your wife has thought about another guy looking good to her too, how does that idea make you feel? Self control and maturity are what you seem to be lacking and that doesn't make being with you good for anyone.
2006-08-01 21:13:02 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you look objectively at your own account of the matter, you will see that you are eager ti find some way to justify moving your relationship into adultery. You may think you are looking for advice, but you are really seeking approval for your feelings: well, you won't get it from me. You are playing in your mind with dire actions that will almost certainly destroy much you find valuable: two marriages, your own relationship with your wife (even beyond the marraige itself) and your relationships with your friend and his wife.It will be better for you to help to PRESERVE these relationships.
Here are some things to observe:
1. IMPORTANT: Don't meet with the friend's wife alone -- under ANY circumstances.
2. Make the wellbeing of your friend's marriage your objective, clearly known to some parties.
3. Make your wife your allly in carrying out your efforts to this objective.
4. If you are a religious man, make your friend's marriage the direct object of porayer, recognizing that marriage is a COVENANT relationship.
5. If your friend's wife DOES approach you with \ANY form of intimacy (not very likely, thankfully), then refocus her attention -- not so much to her duty to her husband but to her marriage itself: do NOT reciprocate, or even let her know that you have similar feelings for her. This will help her see the problem from a positive view.
6. Be driven by LOGIC and FACTS, not by your emotion, nor by dangerous longings.
2006-08-01 22:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
O I KNOW HOW U FEEL, i am a woman and to be honest with u , she sure wants something from u to or she wouldn't make eye contact or make comments like that,....i know it is exiting and u have to think real hard about what u want ,and ask yourself ; what if something happens how do i want it to go? do u want give up what u have cause in the end it does come out BELIEVE ME.
but if u still want too, i would say go for it, maybe she is the love of your life...good luck, bye tc pat
2006-08-01 20:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by patjeboer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is just an infatuation. Why channel your energy trying to woo your best friend's wife when you can actually rekindle the love you have for your wife? Or have you forgotten you HAVE a wife?
Think back on the promise to love your wife the day you married her. My analogy would be " an old house will be become new when you renovate it." Bear in mind, it's the same old sentimental property you are renovating.
Likewise, the old romance you had with your wife will become a new romance when you made an effort to spice it up with her. Bear in mind, she is the same sentimental value to you when you made the decision to marry her.
2006-08-02 00:13:30 · answer #7 · answered by DiL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her how she feels about you. She may just want some side action and not the whole package. I've been there. I confronted her about the looks she was giving me and how it was making me feel. She was not interested in me as a marriage partner but for a sexual fling. I had to tell her no. I am sorry to this very day I didn't take that opportunity because later in my marriage, my wife turned out to be a cheat.
2006-08-02 00:48:09 · answer #8 · answered by paulsexpress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting some lusty feelings here. You are willing to ruin friendship, marriages and family for a piece.
Take a cold shower and be an adult. Your friends wife is having problems in her marriage. Her looking at you could be like a puppy in trouble also could be she wishes you weren't there to see the problems. So you want to help by sticking it in her and sticking to everyone else. Back off. You are no help to her, your friend or your wife. Make it a real cold shower...
2006-08-01 20:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wish to maintain your friendship with her, please keep your lust temptation from her as you are unsure whether this feeling could be last long.
Bear in mind you have your own family and children and they deserve the best from you. Your best friend's marriage with her husband might not turn fruitful but that doesn't mean she will choose to be with you. If she does, long long time ago she already confessed her affections to you and yet she chooses to marry someone else. Think the consequences before you act..
2006-08-01 21:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing like having something that shouldn't be had. It's exciting. But if you give any thought to how much you love your wife and your children, I would stay away from the temptation, even in your question, I can see you are salivating all over the keyboard. Down Boy!!!
2006-08-01 20:05:16 · answer #11 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋