i am 27yrs old and have been married for 7 yrs now, it was an arranged marriage..
some time back i started this affair with this guy who is 24yrs old now.. we used to be friends for 3 yrs untill one day we realised we were attracted 2 each other.. we started this relationship & it kept going deeper.. it was like i could not live without him.. Then suddely he got notice that he had to shif to another city regarding his work 2 mths back.. he left.. but before that we got married in a temple so that our love would not be incomplete.. we r always in touch & talk daily.. but.. there r many probs that r in our way..
1st of all my family (parents & siblings) depends totally on my husband, so i cant get out of this marriage.
2ndly my bf is just working & barely supports himself.
3rdly even if i thot of living with my bf.. his parents would disown him, he would never want this to happen.
we r both from orthodox hindu families..
is our relationship just an EMA
wat advice do u have?
2006-08-01 19:24:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
p.s. i am from india
i have got no kids yet,
ya i got married 2 my bf in a temple.. it does not require legal documents.
2006-08-01 19:47:32 · update #1
you seem to be in a real fix.
well,first and foremost;it seems reality has dawned on you just too late cause you made into this relation after a long three years.You can't say that you are "seeing"these problems now after marrying your bf.....
so its up to you to decide;what exactly are you desiring from life?
love from this new man or financial security of your parents and siblings?or are you really wanting to leave your husband with whom you are married since 7 years.
you indeed are messing up your life;cause all rosy romances shall disappear as this new relation shall get public;and among other first and foremost financial problems shall crop up.
If you think your love for him can be so strong to make you be ready to live a hardly-to-eat kind life,without the consideration of what others feel...then you can very well go along with your boy friend.
But,just in case,if you are otherwise satisfied with your marriage of 7 years,DON'T forget your KIDS.....your married life has it all,with a supporting husband too;i would say you are running after a mirage of infatuation in the form of your new man.
If your new man can't leave his parents for you,can't seek you financial security;What exactly are you expecting from him in this new relation???
analyse with a cool mind;don't let this emotional tide bias you.analyse your priorities before you decide.
But,decide fast.you have given it long enough time!
good luck!
2006-08-01 19:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by opinion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are looking for an answer if this affair is love or not, I would place my bet on love. However if you are looking for advice; I am baffled. Do I understand correctly? Are you married to two men? You are dependent on two men regardless of the answer. One man for monetary support and another seems to be your emotional compass. You also look to your family for acceptance. I know a bit about the Hindu culture and arranged marriages and I know that you both would be disowned for your behavior (which is sad), however this is your life and it is the only one you will ever have. What would you do if you knew you would die tomorrow? What would you regret? Be honest with yourself... this is the best advice I have. I am not sure I have helped in any sort of way, however know that there are people thinking about you and wish you hope.
2006-08-02 02:47:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sequoia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 27 years old but think like a teenage. Grow up and think maturely. You are wrong at the first place. Your secret second marriage to your boyfriend is not a marriage, because its without blessing from your parents. Stop your affair now before its too late. If you really want to be with your boyfriend, divorced your husband. You are not only cheat on your husband but also make use of him financially.
2006-08-02 04:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ungrateful and have behaved unjust towards ur husband.27 is quite a mature age to know what u are doing.Your second marriage has no meaning as u r still in ur firt marriage with ur husband.Yous is a typical case of heart ruling the head towards insanity.One possible solution is to burry and forget whatever happened.The orthodox family of ur bf wont allow him to get back to u,neither would he respect u for what u did.You will end up losing everyone.Be mature and practical.
2006-08-02 02:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by aquarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, extramarital affairs are very common now-a-days. Before you take any decision, you think about your children, the impact that the society would cause on you, economical status, and the real thing which you get from your bf. If you feel that only your personnel life is important, then dont worry about anything. start living with you bf. Incase you feel that your ecenomical status and the other aspects are important, then try the maximum possible to keep your relationship secretly. any how, you are the better judge in your court. I liked the narration of your question. i would feel happy if u respond to me.
2006-08-02 02:34:19 · answer #5 · answered by sshhrini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r not doing rght as u r married and have kids so better don't ruin ur familly and his 2 it will create more prob.
2006-08-02 02:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by indian beauty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋