My husband wants us to go away each weekend to see friends or go to the beach which would be great but he always wants his parents to come too! Every time I say no, he gets upset and says they are a close family....what can I do? I dread every weekend now as I know there is going to be an arguement! Suggestions please as to how I can solve this. I love him very much and would just like to spend time alone with him....
2006-08-01 19:09:16 · 17 answers · asked by faithy73 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
honesty..
if he does not listen to your protests i would take him along to the doctors with you next time so he can hear it from the horses mouth. he really needs to understand how you are feeling.
maybe next time he suggests you go out for the weekend just say, " you know...i really am feeling very tired...would you mind if i don't come today..." that way he goes and you have the day to yourself. better still...he does not go either and stays home with you and looks after you.
all the best with your exciting future :-)
2006-08-01 19:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by *prettyinpink* 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that it is vitally important for you to rest. Does he not understand that it's the only free time you have? It's fine that his family are close but what about the new family he has chosen to create with you? You could maybe tell him that you will compromise and go away for one weekend a month or that he can go for the odd weekend if you don't mind being on your own. If he gets upset, he really is selfish. Tell him to try being 7 months pregnant and expected to do everything and get no rest.
2006-08-02 03:40:57 · answer #2 · answered by Evil J.Twin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband exactly how you feel and that you are tired and need to have a quiet time at the weekend. Also do you get on well with your mother-in-law, she can be a great ally to have. Talk to her in a friendly manner, explain how tired you are feeling and ask her help and advice, after all she has gone through pregnancy and knows how tiring it can be. If she is sympathetic she might suggest to your husband that it is time to cut out some of the socialising until after the baby is born.
If none of this works, I think that for the sake of your health you will just have to put your foot down and refuse to go out some weekends, but try not to cut them all out so that you are not being unreasonable.
2006-08-02 03:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to a Dr's appt. and let the doctor explain it to him..you need rest and your husband needs to see that you get it. You might even want to call your Dr. before the appt. and let her/him know what is up and why you are bringing in your husband. If he still refuses to let you rest..then tell him to have a good time with his parents and you stay home and rest by yourself.
Then you need to go to a marriage counselor and find out why your needs can't seem to be met and why his needs and his parents needs are more important. He sounds rather selfish and spoiled. A good counselor can get him to see where he is letting you down and help him change his behavior before you guys are at war. Having a baby is a lot of work and he needs to pull his weight. You will be just as tired after the baby comes and will need more understanding and support. Make sure you get it from him...he's becoming a parent also, not just you.
2006-08-02 02:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by theresa b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doctor is telling you to rest. It might be a good idea for the doctor to explain the situation directly to your husband. You and the expected baby are his family now and he should understand that this is a health issue not a socializing issue. Come to a compromise about spending Saturdays with his family and Sundays alone together. That's what marriage is all about -- caring for each other and compromising. He probably just needs a little reminder from the doctor about your health.
2006-08-02 02:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to rest as if you dont you will go into premature labour as i did. Tell him that you wont have all the time in the world for him once the little one comes along, and you want to make the most of the quality time you have together. Just compromise with regards to family and friends. Just say that you do want to spend tme with the family but only every few weeks. They may be a close family, but what will they do if you have an absolute earful and leave because he is spending more time with them than you. Fight for your man, but tell him you need to feel some compromise back.
2006-08-02 09:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband doesnt want to / cant see the point in spending quality time as a couple, Id be worried! Id freak if mine all of a sudden wanted to book up all our spare time with other people. Did you guys ever do stuff just the two of you before you got married like a hobbie or a place that you went together? If so, it might be a good suggetsion to do those things again! Good luck with the baby :) x
2006-08-02 10:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by kitten 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost your unborn child must come first! Rest you will need it in the next few years. Try to sit down with your husband and have a real heart to heart with him. It may help to write down or list the concerns you have about the baby, his family, and where you need-not want- your marrige to go. The list will help keep things on track. Try not to get into an arguement. Stay calm. I know it will be difficult but these thing need to be worked out before the baby and before your health gets worse. You and your baby are his family now and he needs to put your and your child before his family. Set boundries now before it gets worse. If that does not help try counselling. Good Luck
2006-08-02 02:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a man who is close to his family and they are here almost every weekend, we talk about it if it bothers me becuase I am not a nice person if I need my space. I know how it is to want to be alone with your husband. The best thing to do is talk to him calmly. If your husband loves you as much as you love him he will comply with what your needs are. He has to understand that you need his full attention. Especially now that you are pregnant and your time will be with the new addition. YOU are his family now. YOU should be the most important person. My husband and I communicate and he knows that HE is my family and that I should be HIS family. I suggest communication. And if you don't want them to go let it be known, it is YOUR time too. I know it is easy to say that but harder to do it. So good luck and hon and congrats on your new addition
2006-08-02 02:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by trouble comes a knockin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple, rest of lose the baby. The Dr. really does know best. You are on the verge of gestational diabetes or high blood pressure, among other things. Either way you could lose the child or even die yourself. It's time for hubby to grow up and realize that your rest needs to be primary until you deliver. Then it just gets more demanding. Good Luck
2006-08-02 02:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋