ive been with him for 3 years now.
he says he still loves me,however he says my weight gain has made him far less attracted to me.
he doesnt hold my hand anymore or kiss me the way he used to.
he comes to my house 5 times a month if im lucky-we live down the street from eachother.
once again-he says my 30 lb weight gain is a huge obstacle for him. he feels he cant be loving and caring and as attentive to someone who doesnt care about herself anymore.
should i move on,or try to lose the weight and win back his love?
HELP!
2006-08-01 19:04:22 · 13 answers · asked by kiki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you decide to lose the weight, do it for YOURSELF. If he is shunning you for putting on pounds, he'd better not gain one ounce, since gaining weight to him is a turn off. I would not tolerate that from anyone.
2006-08-01 19:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by D L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately he is more into the physical attributes of you than he is into the personality and inner beauty that you offer. I think if you lose the weight he might go back to his old ways, but do you really want that over your head for the rest of your life? If he is this way now, he will continue this way forever....and perhaps get worse. I think a 30 lb weight gain isn't anything that should be a huge obstacle. It could cause him a little disappointment, but if 30 lbs is altering his life, he's not the one for you. Good Luck
2006-08-02 02:12:05 · answer #2 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey he shud be able to love you however you are.your weight gain shud not be that big of a deal if he is really into u . one more thing. if u want to lose weight do it when u feel like not becoz someone tells u to or feels shud lose weight.
moreover u are with him from 3 years. maybe boredom has set in your relationship. dont worry it happens with all relationships.
You know the best solution wud be to take a break from your boyfriend for some time. say for 1-2 months. get a makeover.look ravishing.and he will be waiting for u more than ever.it is said that distance makes hearts grow fonder.when u have something u dont realize its value once its not there then u know its value.So take a break for positive by the time u are back he will be waiting for u.
2006-08-02 02:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should move on ASAP. You don't want to be in a relationship where you're always going to have to watch your weight. His love for you shouldn't change based on your appearance. I worked with girl and her husband never wanted her to gain weight. If she did, he would pinch at her sides and say "you're getting fat, you look ugly ....are you getting fat on me?" She would always have to call her husband after lunch and tell him what she ate. Needless to say all of those comments really affected her self-esteem and frame of mind.
Bottom line... Love is unconditional. He doesn't deserve you. Do yourself a favor and dump him. It might hurt at the beginning but believe me, you'll look back and think what was I ever thinking...all those people on Yahoo! Anwers were right!
Good Luck!
2006-08-02 02:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by kutie217 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a real jerk to me he cares more about your appearance then your feeligns which is really sad .. but if u love him then lose the weight .. but do it for yourself ..if your happy with the weight u are then let him go ..if he cared anything about you and your feelings this wouldnt be a big problam but sadly most men want thin beautfil women ..ive been there girl and i know how u feel ..men are so one sided its pathetic ..lose the weight then leave his *** LOL
2006-08-02 02:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh girl, dont just walk away- RUN. anyone who is not willing to love you for you does not deserve your time or effort. at the same token, if you decide to lose weight it should be for YOURSELF, not a man. you have to own your life, make it about you. if you live for someone else you will only wind up resentful in the end.
2006-08-02 02:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by juniper_sativa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you happy with yourself? Don't lose weight because of someone else you need to do it for yourself if you are unhappy with the way you look> Anyways he doesn't really love you if he can't except you for who you are. It is called unconditional love.
2006-08-02 02:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him so much you have to loose your weight and let him know how much you care for him and he will surely kiss you on that spot
2006-08-02 02:18:41 · answer #8 · answered by vishnu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your boyfriend and doesn't want to stick with you through change.. If you want to loose weight you should and he should support you...but is it you he loves or the perfect figure he lusts?
Seriously we go through phases in our body and our mind and we need more love than your not perfect you deserve more.
2006-08-02 02:13:04 · answer #9 · answered by lol_des 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes when you love somebody you need to let them go. If it is your weight now what will it be later?
2006-08-02 02:12:15 · answer #10 · answered by athena c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋