Hey well First of I am not gay, bi, curious or anything else like that. I don't know what the hell happened. I was hanging out talking with my fiance's dad got really drunk, and the next morning I woke up naked in bed with him. I know what you're gonna say that how do I know that we actually did anything together. Trust me I know. I wont say how, but I know. I didn't say anything to her dad when I woke up. He was still asleep so I just left. I just don't know what to do. We're getting married next month. I know I have to tell her. I also know it's really gonna **** things up. I just don't know how to tell her, or what to do. Also, I don't know how to face her dad, and discuss it. Someone please help me with this mess. If anyone has any advice or can relate to my situation I'd love to hear it.
2006-08-01 19:00:39 · 17 answers · asked by Steve 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
wow man......I am sooooooooooo sorry. I never thought in my entire life that that could possiblly happen in any situation.......that only happens in comedy movies! Oh man well first off you need to find a place to relax and think things over. Take a small vacation with her or something. Mabey that will calm things down and get you guys in the mood to talk. Other than that.........I have no idea how to help you cause.....wow. Don't ever get drunk agian since you know what happened last time. And do NOT plan on telling her this right before you guys go to bed or anything or when she is stressed about the wedding. I'm not sure how she is going to handle this cause if I was in her situation (only things are changed around where its.....I don't even want to think about that) Well I would totally freak and not know how to handle the situation. I can tell you feel devestated about it but she is going to feel alot worse. I don't know how to help you out of this one sorry man. I hope God can find you a path where everything will be ok.
P.s. On second thought, it might not be such a bad idea NOT to tell her and talk to the dad first. He did it just as you did and it was just as much his fault as it was yours I mean think about it........he just did his daughters soon to be husband. So you two need to talk and mabey decide weather or not the both of you should tell her. I don't think it's a good idea to tell her though becuase it just may mess her up for the rest of her life if she takes it that way....she just may too cause I might of if I was in her situation.
2006-08-01 19:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are not gay or bi, you say that like you are really sure,however, no one can make you do anything you won't want to,
The wierd part is about her father. Is he gay, or bi?
iT seems very wierd if you are two straight males to end up there, not to mention her "father"..i wonder have you ever ended up in bed with any one else after you were drinking?
Do you have a drinking problem? if this has happened before, then you definately have issues,,
it is hard to even imagine that situation,,what kind of a man is her father? where was your girlfriend while you and her dad were doing the "wild thing"?
i guess you should talk to her father first and see what he has to say about this, if any..you say you won't say why but you know something happened, if you know that, than you had to know what you were doing,
This may sound stupid, but maybe her dad is a waco, pervert ad put that drug roofie, or whatever it is called in your drink,, then if so, it is not your fault, and he deserves to get his but kicked,,
maybe that happened, that is the only thing that makes sense,,check it out, talk to him, yikes if he would do that with you.. i wonder if he would do the same thing to her,
Well i would certainly find out what happened before you say anything to her,,know your facts, and maybe it would be bettter to not say anyting until you are sure how you feel about everything,,talkto a coundelor, therapist or someone,,i hope it all ends up ok for you.
One last thing, are you sure you are ready to settle down with your girlfriend? JUST YOU AND HER and no one else? It is better to learn what the heck happened and learn about what is going on inside you.
good luck
2006-08-02 02:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first person you should talk about this with is your future daddy in law. In that talk you two should decide to bring it out in the open or keep it a secret for the rest of your lives.
In most cases I would say that honesty is the key, but in this case it seems sane to not fully stick to that. There are too many undesired consequences to open up about it here. Maybe in 20, 30 or 40 years after she has told you more than often what a great guy you are you could open up. So in that sense you have every reason to have her say just that. Then again if she wants to pursue marrying you and she can keep respecting you and her father, despite of what happened, I'd say do the honest thing. But how do you find out that she will?
Messed up for sure!
2006-08-02 02:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by groovusy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ROFLMAO!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!! WHHHHEEEWWWW!
OK now that im done laughing my *** off at this hilarious soap-opera situation , i will say that i am sorry ; this is gonna be sooo tough to explain. even rational women can overlook cheating, cheating before a wedding and possibly cheating gayly, but to throw in that it was her FATHER. OMG. This is the one man, besides u she mostl ikely trusted and respected. now both of the power figures in her life are worthless scumbags... or something like that. she will be hurt furious and possibly homicidal, but its important to remember that she is allowed to be angry and vent. not only does she have the stress of a wedding, a JerrySpringer nightmare but now shes got to deal with visions of her dad porking her fiance up the bungie. shes spiraling out of control.
the only way to break the news to her is to do it like this...
think of something 10 times worse but believable and convince her for 10 mins that its real when she is furious say just kidding.. but i did get realllly drunk and woke up next to ur father. it will ease it a little bit.
also u dont have to go into the gritty detail. just tell her what u remember that u got drunk and woke up next to her father. u dont reallly remmeber having sex with him. as far as u know some college frat boys posed u that way and stuff pickes up ur bungie. ok thas a stretch but u dont know . u can save herself and yhourself a lot of heartache by just telling her the facts and letting her come to her own conclusions WITH ur help. answer her questions and dont suggest a meeting of u and her dad together ... that would be realllly awkward for her.
hope you read all this...
2006-08-02 02:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by LN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry old boy, you really have ****** up things. Start by seeing a marriage councellor, talk to the dad and by then you would have known what to tell her.
Next time you want to get drunk, let there be more poeple than the two of you. You don't sound very strong.
2006-08-02 02:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by kombo6m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well try talking to the dad first about what happen and make sure something really happened. You would really feel like a fool if nothing did and you jumped to conclusions. And if you and the dad were able to talk about it then you should have no problems talking with your fiance. She would want you to be honest about it. Don't start your marriage out with lies or secerts.
2006-08-02 02:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by memedos 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhmm wow. thats a tough one but i can kinda say that ive been in a situation where ive woke up kinda like u did not with a fiances parent though just a friend. if i were you id talk to the dad first and explain it to him that you were highly intoxicated and you know sumthings happend but you love his daughter and you feel it would b better off if it were left unsaid. i really wouldnt tell her cuz if i was her id be really freaked out. yea dont tell her.
2006-08-02 02:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by babygurlly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say OMG., and you should really quit drinking, second you should tell her and quick before her dad tells her, and if she really Love's you she will be more upset with him not you. Be honest honey and if she really loves you she will understand. Besides you may not have been the first and or the last... and most of all, I think you should get counseling as as you can and maybe suggest she goes with you.... I am really sorry for you because in my book that's no different than rape.... I am sorry
2006-08-02 02:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by kotysgrlxxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I would share that information with her. Her dad probably feels just as bad. I can say this, don't get drunk because you are not aware of what goes on, and that situation could have been worse.
2006-08-02 02:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by D L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a fantasy to me especially if you want other stories. I know everything I have done when I was drunk and have drank alot when I was younger. If this is true (which I think you are just wanting to hear stories) then you are screwed you not only cheated on her but you cheated on her with a man who is her father. Sick Sick Sick
2006-08-02 02:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋