I feel dead inside.?

Question

The same story: Life is Unfair. God isn't fair. How many times do I have to die? Death doesn't seem like a coward option after all, most people who can't live through their own personal hell want out quick. I am a pathetic loser. I know this because its true, how do I know? Well you can always look at your life from a sideline and just figure what's wrong. I'm gone. Dead inside. So far and out of reach. Pyschiatrics isn't the answer and God is just so impossible to talk to: do you think that prayers really amount to anything at all? I don't have friends "to take burdens" off my shoulder. I an nonexistent. Dead.

If God did existed why would He created so much poverty, miseries, misfortune to plague innocent people and don't tell me there's a reason! There isn't. It never makes any sense. I wish there was a God, I really do, but I feel like He left me when I needed Him the most and besides its all religious hokum. How can you rationalize something that is not palpable or within grasp? God made my life hell: considering that I endured child abuse, had horrible people to influence me and I'm falling, falling, falling over and over again. Who am I to blame? Why do some people have it easier than others? Where is the justice in that?

I don't understand my relationship with God. Its so ambigious. I remember in Bible school I would recite lines from the passages, feel excited about the messages from the Book as if all my problems could be solved within a blink of the eye--now I barely have anything to hang on. I really was one of those disillusioned types and I enjoyed it--it tied my life together perfectly. Days like those should last, last and last. I've already lost myself. I barely even recognize who I am.

No I don't think that dopamine or seratoine or whatever other meds that out there is going to act like a "cure-all" I feel defeated in everything. I litterally cannot understand why there's so many problems in my life. My body can't move on anymore. I've stopped living and almost completely gone through several meltdowns in my life. My parents didn't even care when I was suicidal as early as 7th grade. Do you know how hard it was being the only gay student in closet? I had so many internal struggles, I questioned my beliefs why would a God say that homosexuality is an abomination and yet at the same time give me this curse? Then when I soon went into high school it got worse. I couldn't bare the accusations. I wanted to die everyday after gym. Nobody sees a guy cry no. no. no. My dad even thinks I should be disowned and so I did horribly at school as well trying to balance my personal chaos. I need to die. I really hate myself not just who I am but as some loser and a failure as a whol

Answer 1

Sometimes I feel like that too. You need to look inside yourself and find out why you feel this way. What's missing from your life? Maybe it's God-- I don't know how you feel about God, but he can bring true peace and joy to your life. Don't follow what someone else says about God, don't pin all your hopes on the God they talk about on TV-- if you choose to do it, you have to find God on your own. Seek him, seek peace, and you find them both.

Answer 2

Well that is your choice
Life is what you make it, and we all have choices.
If you started to think in a positive way, maybe your life will brighten up.
If you want to feel alive you just have to find a way to do that, go out and enjoy nature
If you were born a water sign go to the river or beach and gather some energy.
I think your batteries have ran low and all you need is a recharge of energy.
Have a look at what is going wrong in your life, and change it for the better.
If you have energy draining friends cut some of them off until you are feeling better.

Love & Blessings
Milly

Answer 3

You should never put Tabasco sauce on Chili beans. It will do that to you every time. In about an hour, you are going to smell dead inside. Please be carefull you will have BBS which is a clinical term for "burning butt syndrome". Good luck and get some baby wipes.

Answer 4

Basicly I feel the same way, but I haven't got the time to read lengthy question.

Answer 5

It's time to reach out and help others. This will provide the rewards you seek.

Answer 6

You are at least better than those who are dead outside also

Answer 7

That makes two of us

Answer 8

you need to pray to God and he will send his people to come knocking on your door

Answer 9

are you asking me or telling me? cuz i feel like **** too

Answer 10

Me too.