2006-08-01 17:26:11 · 17 answers · asked by Fed_up_by_u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fact that you have taken the pain to share your problem with others means that you still value this relationship. You are really hurt but at the same time you would opt for the best option out of this mess. It's not clear what he did to you but whatever it is, all mistakes can be forgiven so long as the offender take responsibility for his mistakes and trully promises never to repeat it. But this can only occur if you take the initiative to freely discuss the matter and let him see how much you are hurt and how much your marriage means to both of you. Let him know how much you care for and love him and would wish the situation to be back to where you were after the wedding day. Also be ready to forgive should he appologise.
Secondly, you must appreciate that marriage is not a bed of roses. As much as it brings alot of joy, it also requires alot of adjustments and sacrifizing alot. Remember also how much you have invested in that relationship, both emotionally, financially, physically, time etc. What about the innocent children in case you have any?
Remember that you swore never to separate till death. So exercise forgiveness as a mature and loving wife and see how much he may positively change. Walking out of marriage is not the solution to marrital conflicts unless the continuation of the same can emminently leads to death or permanent harm to one or both of you.
Thirdly, what do you want to do with your life incase you opt to leave? Would you still need a man in your life? What assurance do you have that another man will not do to you something worse? Is it not true, "it's better the Devil you know than the Angel you don't know? Please talk to your husband and if possible involve a qualified and experienced Counselor. And if you wish, provide more informations for better counseling.
2006-08-01 18:49:07 · answer #1 · answered by Phillo 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ask God to show you why you fell in love with your husband in the first place and then ask God to allow you to see you husband through His eyes. I don't know if you are a spiritual person, but I do know that you can forgive someone no matter how bad you were hurt. My husband stepped out on me a few years ago and still tells me at times he is still tempted, but I know that when I married my husband we are bound before God by a covenant which cannot be broken. We didn't sign a contract that can be broken. I think that when we take our marital vows, this is what is meant by "for better of worse".......and believe it or not, we have experienced alot worse during our 24 yrs. of marriage than an affair.......
Start spending time together doing the fun things that you enjoy doing together and remember all of the fun times and pray that the bad ones will just be a long lost memory.
It may take a long while to start "loving" him again like it was before, but time does heal and you "can" begin to love him again....just be patient!
2006-08-02 00:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few more details would be helpful, but i guess we can start by asking does he know he has hurt you? Sit him down and talk to him Guys can not read you mind. If he loves you he will want to work on whatever it is that is causing the problem. Give him a chance a marriage takes a lot of work. Good luck
2006-08-02 00:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by patricia_hyland72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer that question for you! How should we?
We have not lived your life or his life. And we have not lived with either of you!
The only thing that one can read here is a plea for pity!
Reading this forum shows that too many have their own maturity, relationship, and ethical issues.
Are you interested in counseling?
2006-08-02 00:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant. once you have lost the trust in the marriage its usually the end. cause in the back of your mind you will be wondering if and when he will hurt you again. you should think of divorce. get on with your life.
2006-08-02 00:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by missindy46 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you may need some space. Time for yourself to get away and think and relax. Do some soul searching. If he is sorry I am sure he will let you go.
2006-08-02 00:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how he hurt you. If it was physically get the heck out!!! If he cheated on you either get out or get counselling. If he emotionally hurts you all the time that can be damaging Get out!!!! You need to be more specific with you question.
2006-08-02 00:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what he did. Are you sure you should even try? It isn't always the wise thing to do, in fact it seldom is. Once they've shown you their true character and what they are capable of you should believe that. 10 good years isn't worth one enormous betrayal in my opinion, but thats just me.
2006-08-02 00:42:50 · answer #8 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to find it in your heart to forgive him ..im not saying your gonna forget but time heals all wounds ..let go of the past try to keep in mind noone is perfect everyone makes mistakes.. love is understanding and forgiving
2006-08-02 02:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he will have to show you so much love so that your love to him matches his. The circle of love was broken.
The two of you need to get that circle of love going again
2006-08-02 00:37:12 · answer #10 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋