I work two jobs and take dam good care of my 12 year son, and I am always willing to let the father see his son, I AM NOT a money hungry, child baring, NO JOB HAVING MOTHER! I WORK VERY HARD FOR MY CHILD. Why are men like this?
2006-08-01 16:26:08 · 52 answers · asked by J J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Becaue some men are idiots. They can go out and make the babies, but they can't raise them. Don't worry about them, they are just like little BOYS who want to do sneaky little things but they can't deal with the consequences. Any man can make a baby, but it takes a REAL man to be a father.
2006-08-01 16:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know it's a frustrating situation, but please don't blame all men because not all men are like this. This guy seems unwilling to take care of his responsibilities. Maybe he isn't as mature as you are to rise to the demands of caring for a child. Although this may be an explanation, it is not an excuse.
Don't let him get away with this neglect - make sure you go to the court system and file that he is not paying for his child. At some point, there is the possibility that his part of his paychecks will be given to you automatically. It's not fair to your or your son to let this continue. Also, for your son's sake continue to try to keep lines of communication open with his dad, and try to encourage him to see him (unless he is a really bad influence).
Good luck with this, and stay strong. Just keep doing the right thing by picking up the slack that your ex has left by not doing his share.
2006-08-01 16:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by HoneyB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are like this my ex pays his child support faithfully, and my husband pays $1,000.00 a month and one of the kids isn't even his. I have been in your boat I have worked two jobs to support two kids and even with child support it wasn't enough you need to quit one of your jobs and go back to school find something you love and can take care of you both doing it. Once I did that child support wasn't a concern it became something to give the kids something extra yes it is a struggle for a while but if you can hold down two jobs and raise a kid your strong enough to do it. I wish you and your son the best in life and good luck.
2006-08-01 17:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by Katrina Y 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not ALL men are like that. Even so, just one man being that way is HORRIBLE. My father was like that when we were kids. His thing was because he paid child support everything my mom got was cause he "paid" for it. Never mind the fact my mother also worked 2 jobs. I think men like that have issues paying the support because they are no longer getting anything out of the situation. No sex. The really sad part is that these men do NOT know what they are missing by ignoring their children. It's their loss. But, I do hope your situation improves significantly for both you and your son.
2006-08-01 16:33:19 · answer #4 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
because some men are asses, and feel they are hurting you by not sending the money, they dont think about how it will hurt the child, my ex left me with his daughter, i cared for her like she was my own, but he left and when he finally got a job he worked under the table, its just a male thing, guys think they can have it all, leave their kids, and not have to pay a dime because their not there, i think that men like that should be punished, good for you for supporting your kid and being a wonderful mother!! you desirve the world, all single mothers do! but now since hes not paying child support he has no rights over the child, so if you wanted to play his games you could keep him from seeing the kid, i dont know if he would care, but if he did it would work, the only problem would be hurting the child! find a man who will care about you and your child you sound like an amazing person, good luck, and kuddos to you!!
2006-08-01 16:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off congrats... you're doing well. Second I have raised both a girl and a boy without any help from the other parent, their Mom to be exact, so please don't lump me in with the other men that are out there. As a matter of fact I know a number of single fathers that are doing it too.
People are cut from two kinds of cloth. The responsible ones and the irresponsible ones. You seem to be the first and your partner from the second. It sucks... but don't waste your time trying to figure out WHY they act the way they do. Your son will be going to college or moving out soon. 18 is coming in six short years. Enjoy your time with him.... teach him to be responsible and you'll be greatly rewarded when he turns into a fine young man.
2006-08-01 16:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by ibrouter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your anger, frustration and disgust. I cannot comprehend how a gut can neglect a child that certainly would not have chosen HIM for a father, had a choice been given! Accept responsibility for your actions and give your child the love and security he or she (or they) deserve!
I was in a serious relationship recently and this wound up being a deal-breaker. He was more involved with my son (and he was pretty good with him) than he was with his own kids. I gave him more than enough time and valid reasons why he needed to be there for them -- finally I just said that if they can't depend on him, I know I can't either!
2006-08-01 16:32:57 · answer #7 · answered by HearKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mostly it's because they can get away with it, unless U take them to family court for court ordered payment. If you do this & your man has a paying job, he will be orsered to pay you an amount decided by the family court system.
If he regnags on the court order they can garnishe his wages for the payments.
The family court system is a nightmare to go through unless U have a lawyer who is an advocate of children & mothers seeking non-support payments.
If you're in a certain income bracket you can request such a lawyer from LEGAL AID. Some of them are really good at this particular law, as that is their speciality, so be dilligent & get one of these lawyers.
2006-08-01 16:42:53 · answer #8 · answered by REBELCAT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men suck. They didn't carry them for nine months or nurse them at their breast and they don't get it. Mother's are caretakers, period. We are the bottom line. Men have options. They can take the kids or leave them. Women don't get to walk away when they're six months pregnant. Men can stroll. I'm not saying they're all like that.... but many are.
I had to put my ex in jail for not paying child support... $12,000 in arrears at that time. He bit through an artery to try to get out of the cell. Funny thing.... once they KNOW they aren't going to get away with it, they suddenly become capable of paying.
They don't seem to recognize the statistics that say that whether the parents are together or apart, children do better when their fathers are involved. They do better in school, with relationships, stay out of trouble and have better goals for their own futures. Single mothers bust their asses every single day for their children, but fathers matter. I just wish more fathers would realize that.
2006-08-01 16:34:53 · answer #9 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont lie, women are getting free money till the childs turns 18 and a tax write off, you would hate to give all that up. I paid child support and raise two kids, the amount I was paying was more than enough to raise 3 kids a month. The joke was on my ex when she no longer recieives free money from me. She now has to work 2 jobs to afford her life style.
2006-08-01 16:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋