a question about being sexually assaulted?

Question

ok, in february i was sexually assaulted, NOT RAPED. it bothered me, but not that much...but lately all of a sudden its been upsetting me a lot. and i cant figure out why. im very confused about the way im feeling. i wasnt raped, just assaulted, so should i be as upset about it as i am? i kinda feel like i dont have a reason to be, since it isnt considered rape. also why did it take so long for me to get upset over it? (i would perfer serious answers, perferably from people who have experienced this) i just want some opinions on the way im feeling... thanks

Answer 1

I was assaulted too. Not raped assaulted. But sexual assault can be just as serious as rape. I wasn't mad for a long time either. So don't worry, you're not alone. But you need to understand, that ANY sexual assault is serious. If you haven't talked to someone about it yet, you need to. It is a very serious crime and it needs to be reported. So if you haven't reported it yet Hun, I would suggest you do it soon. Email me if you have any more questions. I hope your pain heals quickly.

Answer 2

Hi,

What you are going through is natural.

Usually, when traumas happen (loss of a loved one, broken relationships, sexual assaultment), the first stage you will go into is SHOCK and you would this not feel anything or even be bothered.

Being sexually assaulted (while different from RAPE) is no any less traumatic.

You may be feeling upset all of a sudden because you are moving into stage 2. In stage two, you get hit by the reality of things and thus feel upset.

Some people may start to go into denial at this stage. At the denial stage, you will basically be asking yourself, "Why me?" "I wish this did not happen?" "Did I deserve it?" so on and so forth..

But after you get through it, you will finally come to peace with yourself if you ACCEPT what has happened has happened and you have no control over what happened in the past.

What you do have control over is how you live the rest of your life.

Do ACCEPT and LET GO. Close your eyes and feel for all these nnegative feelings. Use your hands to literally pick them out and do the action of throwing them away. Yes, throw them far far away.

I hope you feel better after doing that.

YOu will get over and will get better! Remember, YOU ARE THE BEST!

Answer 3

The fact that you are saying "just" assaulted really bothers me. That's kind of like women who are mentally and emotionally abused saying that it's OK because "he doesn't hit me." I have never been raped, but I was held down against my will and threatened with rape for nearly an hour before I was finally able to get away - and that was by someone I was close to and had dated. Believe me, that was horribly traumatic. It was nearly 5 years ago, and even still, when my fiancee and I are wrestling or playing and he pins me, I sometimes still freak out. Then, a little over a year ago my little sister was raped, and in addition to the feelings that that created on its own, it brought what happened to me back to the surface. I actually felt guilty because I was able to get away and she wasn't. I had never told my mom what happened - in fact, only 2 friends knew about it - but I finally told her the next day because I felt the way that you do - that I didn't have a right to be upset, especially by comparison. But she told me that what happened to my sister neither negated nor minimized what happened to me, and hearing her say that really made me realize that it was OK to feel the way I did - I was violated, I had my freedom of choice taken away from me, I had no control over the situation because no matter how hard I fought (I literally had to clean his skin out from under my fingernails - he probably has scars, I scratched so deeply) he was bigger and stronger than me, and because I was on a couch he could pin my legs with his legs and use his upper body to pin my arms. Someone I trusted abused that trust, and the realization that he really could have done what he threatened and there's nothing I could have done to stop him still gives me chills.

Assault - sexual or otherwise - is a crime (I believe it's a felony, actually, although I wouldn't swear to it), and sexual assault is much worse than non-sexual assault. I understand the delayed reaction - when I got to the friend's house that was closest to where I was, I kept asking if I was overreacting - but I don't understand why you seem to think that what happened wasn't a big deal. Have you talked to anyone about this - your mom, a counselor, your doctor? These things can have really serious long term effects, and I really hope that you will find someone to talk to - someone who won't tell you that it's no big deal or to just forget about it, because that's really worse than keeping it inside - that trivializes what happened to you and there is nothing trivial about it. Someone who has never been through anything similar can't even begin to understand, but they can still provide a shoulder and understanding and guidance to help get past it.

Answer 4

Did you ever really deal with this when it happened? Why do you keep downplaying it like it is not a big enough deal to be upset about? If you have people telling you that it is no big deal, or who don't want to talk about it, then ignore these people. The important thing is, it is causing you stress and bad feelings.
I would suggest you see a counselor and/or join a support group. You need to deal with this before it manifests into a really serious problem.
Being sexually assaulted in ANY way is a big deal, and needs to be dealt with emotionally.
God bless, and good luck. You can get through this! :)

Answer 5

You are not alone. I was in a state of shock and it took me a while to actually accept that it really happened. People are apt to not believe or question you. Just because it wasn't a physical does not mean that you were not assaulted and mentally raped. It can be just as damaging because people are less sympathetic. Talk to someone that you trust, a friend, counselor, relative. You have a right to be upset. It should be reported if you are in a position to do so. This could happen to someone else. You could save someone from having to go through this...most of all trust your gut and believe in yourself.

Answer 6

Sexually assault is just as bad as being Raped it is a crime and the person should be punished for what they did, and as for the just getting upset about it there is no time limit on when you get upset or how long you are upset, I was Molested when I was 5 and when I was in my 20's I was dating a guy and he not on propose get me to remember what happened to me and I couldn't be sexual with him without thinking about it and crying it helps to talk about it and get it out of your system you may never forget what happened to you but you will get on with your life it will get easier that I know. If you would like to talk to someone I am here to talk just add me to you im list.Hope you get back to your old self soon.

Answer 7

Rape, sexual assault, anything in that category, you SHOULD feel upset. Its a horrible thing that can happen to you. You are totally not wrong for feeling this. My friend was sexually assaulted a while ago, and I believe that us talking about it took some relief off her shoulders. Try talking to someone you trust. Also, the man/woman who did this to you is not only slimy and disgusting for doing it to you, but he/she could also be doing the same thing to other people. If you know who he is, I strongly reccomend reporting him. Good luck!

Answer 8

You have every right to be upset about this, raped or not, you were violated. Maybe you are bothered about it now because you were in denial about the situation before. Maybe try to get some professional help on this. Good luck and health.

Answer 9

PTSD: post traumatic shock disorder does not care of the cause of the shock. You go through phases, first was dnial, now anger= of a sort. Rape doesnot always come with penetration, the sex ual assault doesnot always mean sex was the driving force, usually it is an attmpt to steal your innocence or to dominate your space and your offended by that, as well you should be.. later you will get over it and go on.

Answer 10

Regardless if was rape or not you have a right to be upset, your body was violated. It may have taken awhile for you to get this upset about it cause you mentally blocked it and then something happened or you seen something that made you bring it all back to surface.