my daughter says she is inlove but the one she is inlove with won't keep a job disrespects her and me keeps her in depression though she don't know what is wrong with her she just work and home they have no children and he tries to keep her away from family and friends by saying he wants it to be just him and her she is normaly pretty level headed but right now she can't see the forrest for the trees she says she is inlove and wants baby an marriage he does nothing for his 3 year old daughter ,she broke all the time because of him had 3 jobs for 2-4 days each how do i make her realise he is a looser HELP
2006-08-01 15:26:45 · 9 answers · asked by Me 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can't make her do anything...or realize anything...she knows he's a loser, but for whatever reasons she's bound herself to him...support her...be there for her...and hopefully she'll soon see that she can have a better life if she gets away from him...she's got to cut that cord herself...it's likely anything you say against him will just cause her to become defensive...
Best wishes that she sees the light soon and runs toward it...
2006-08-01 15:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy is this dajivou, I have 3 daughters my oldest which is well, the clingy one has a man in her life that for the first year and a half seemed to be the man, but now he drinks all the time and puts his hands on her and all they do is scream and yell at each other--God help them that they never bring a child into that mess-
My second daughter (the middle child) well, lets just say she is the quiet meek one who never stands up for herself-Thinks that she is in love with a 28 yr old pervert because he is the best she will ever be able to do---Because that is what he has told her Did I mention she is 17--She even went so far as to date another guy to keep me off her ***- So I had to cut the cord. I sent her to live her own life and told her better she learns now what he is all about cause she wouldn't listen to even the truth staring her in the face. All I could do was tell her that I hoped she didn't waste 15 years on him that's all
And my baby 15, well, she has had her heart set on a boy for 4 yrs now that is one of those while the cats away type (the mouse will play) She cant see that she is the only one that will do things in order to get money to buy cloths or even a hamburger--NOT HIM NOT MR. Studmuffen. He is 17 and wont even get a job. I cant tell her anything cause she has such a big trusting heart she gets upset and crys and so I have had to let her do her own thing--I pray that she just outgrows him before she gets out of school.
The bottom line is all you can do is voice your fears and opinions and let them know that you will always be there for them and not just to say I told you so--NEVER EVER use those words or you will lose them
2006-08-01 22:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by toody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is tell her...she is either going to listen or she isn't. You can't force her she will only rebel and dissapear with him. I feel for your situaiton it is difficult to let them make their own mistakes. But what I would do is sit her down and ask her to do 1 thing...don't go forward with having a baby until she's married. The reason for this is twofold...1. It keeps the possiblility (and a good one from the sounds of him) of getting her pregnant and leaving. 2. He doesn't want to get married...trust me...he wants to be babied. He doesn't work and does nothing but sit around, sleep late, eat like a pig and complain everytime someone rides him about getting a job...but she works.
She is going to have to figure out he's a loser on her own...it's going to be ugly and there is going to be a big mess to clean up after, but make sure she knows that SHE can always come home if things get bad.
2006-08-01 22:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by Rabbit Ritto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had some wisdom in this area for you. I wonder if you contacted a women's shelter and talked to someone there if they could give you good advice. These men like women who have low self esteem and then they emotionally and physically separate them from the ones that love them. Please do not give up on your daughter. I believe she is in for a world of hurt if she doesn't get away from this guy. She doesn't seem to realize she deserves better.
2006-08-01 22:36:39 · answer #4 · answered by angelicsanto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunetly love is blind. The more you try to preach to her about this guy being a loser, the longer she'll stay with him. Sometimes you have to just step back and let your children make these mistakes no matter how bad it hurts you to do so. Just be there to help her pick up the pieces when she realizes that this guy is the loser that you told her he was.
2006-08-01 22:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sorry but you have to bite your tounge and let her find out for herself, she needs to reach the point where she can leave and only she can,unless theres abuse then there are shelters and people who wil help. the more you bad talk the more will defy you so you need to just be cool
2006-08-01 22:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all i can say is that u just need to sit her down one day when u get the chance and tell her how u feel about the whole thing, and tell her that he isn't good a nuff for u and if she says ne thing just be like a mother knows.
2006-08-01 22:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you won't be able to the more you push the more it will turn your daughter away from you, just be therre for her, she will have to learn herself
2006-08-01 22:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by hahaha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make her realize it, she has to do it on her own..
Let her know you love her, and let her know that she doesn't have to settle for that.
2006-08-01 22:33:07 · answer #9 · answered by Phrosty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋